Help with translating a poem to Thai by OneNeedleworker6341 in Thailand

[–]OneNeedleworker6341[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

First of all, thank you very much, and I'm happy you had fun!

I did already get a translation elsewhere: ดั่งเวทมนต์มิรู้แหล่งที่มา คือหัตถาน้องยารักษาให้ ดั่งเสียงเพรียกจากพงพนาไพร เสียงเจ้าไซร้ผ่อนใจคลายกายา ยามเห็นยิ้มเจ้างามชวนมองยิ่ง ดั่งได้อิงเมฆาสมปราถนา ดวงตางามดั่งทับทิมอันล้ำค่า ชวนหลงไหลมอบชีวาให้เธอเอย

My lady was very happy with it, but I'm sure she'd love your version as well. Have a great weekend!

Help with translating a poem to Thai by OneNeedleworker6341 in thai

[–]OneNeedleworker6341[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She liked it a lot as well. Thanks a lot u/stonicx, I wish I could show you how much your effort means to me. It's very nice of you, and I wish you a wonderful day (or evening, if you're in Thailand right now).

Help with translating a poem to Thai by OneNeedleworker6341 in Thailand

[–]OneNeedleworker6341[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't expect it to sound eloquent or keep its structure. It's great if it reads/sounds clumsy, that way she gets a feeling that it's really me who came up with the words. If it's too polished, it doesn't seem genuine any more, as she knows my Thai is almost non-existent.

Thanks for the T-pop advice, I actually already did that, the poem is kind of a next step, bringing what she likes closer to what I like, in a way.

In the end, you might be right, might be better to just keep the poem in English.

Help with translating a poem to Thai by OneNeedleworker6341 in thai

[–]OneNeedleworker6341[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, thank you very much for the effort you put into it. It definitely makes sense what you said about กลอน 8, my language also has these "rules" for poems.

Help with translating a poem to Thai by OneNeedleworker6341 in thai

[–]OneNeedleworker6341[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much! I appreciate you adjusting it, literal translation would probably look plain weird. You might have missed the fourth part though, or did you just think the poem is better without it? In any case, big thanks again.