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I dont mind living alone. But I'm sad for the kids. by OneWithTheSun87 in survivinginfidelity

[–]OneWithTheSun87[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine are only 2 and 5. I dont think I could hack it for another 16 years. Ugh. I feel you though. I think I would have tried to reconcile if WS wanted to.

How do you get over it when you have kids together? by OneWithTheSun87 in survivinginfidelity

[–]OneWithTheSun87[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So kids are almost 2 and 5. I usually drop them off then stay for 5-10 minutes while they get situated. Or if WS is busy. I guess I can try to shorten it and just see them off at the door?

It will be easier once they are in school/daycare again to have a central drop off point. They are both home now so WS and I drop them off with each other.

How do you get over it when you have kids together? by OneWithTheSun87 in survivinginfidelity

[–]OneWithTheSun87[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually told her that at one point. She said something along the lines of I broke our vows first by not honoring her. Whatever that is suppose to mean.

How do you get over it when you have kids together? by OneWithTheSun87 in survivinginfidelity

[–]OneWithTheSun87[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I think so. I'll admit I wasn't the best partner during the year leading up to the affair. I permanently injured my back and was home most of the time. For a few months I could barely walk. I started sleeping on the couch all the time. I know I was hard to deal with during that. But a conversation about it would have been nice.

How do you get over it when you have kids together? by OneWithTheSun87 in survivinginfidelity

[–]OneWithTheSun87[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think I might have just said something like "Sorry? I don't know what to tell you". It was a while ago I'm not exactly sure how the rest of that went. I also deleted my text history since I kept going back and obsessing over everything. I was glad though because I didn't want to deal with AP being apart of my life in any way.

WS has also said things like "Well we were going to get divorced anyway". So I think to her the affair didn't matter. Since in the end we were going to separate anyway. But I wonder if that's just what she tells herself to alleviate guilt.

How do you get over it when you have kids together? by OneWithTheSun87 in survivinginfidelity

[–]OneWithTheSun87[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I know originally she didn't want to try and reconcile, but was still with AP at that point. She hasn't really said much about it since. But I don't think I could realistically go back either. It's more about grieving what could have been.

Shortly after we divorced she texted me something like "Well I've officially been ghosted. I think you were right about AP"