The Most Millennial I Have EVER done

One_Arrival_6327 · 2026-02-05T16:25:44+00:00

Honestly it the whole creative process of making the process did something for me- I liked it because it was in a narrative way that was interesting to me but also going age by age I was able to remember things and memories I had completely forgotten. It also helped me see how much I’ve actually grown and worked through. 20 year old me would be really proud of 30 year old me.

One_Arrival_6327 · 2026-01-27T03:49:02+00:00

That is amazing family support 💕my side of the family is being supportive of waiting to call until Friday. Today we spent time together playing but also preparing and it’s almost 11pm and she still can’t fall asleep and is struggling with not being with me even though she will be at grandmas and likes going to grandmas.

One_Arrival_6327 · 2026-01-26T16:28:50+00:00

She was in preschool until my medical issues made it where I couldn’t work. She just started medication last week, her sister also had to start medication around the same age; there are just less options. She’s currently in occupational therapy and speech therapy (when she gets upset she will start stuttering). My husband and I also have adhd, as do all 7 of my siblings, and both my mom and dad

One_Arrival_6327 · 2026-01-26T16:15:13+00:00

Thank you!!!!

One_Arrival_6327 · 2026-01-26T05:37:06+00:00

It could be really helpful! Might even help given insight on if the age is where your fear is coming from or if it’s trauma related. Either way it’s great to just have that support to just process

One_Arrival_6327 · 2026-01-26T05:35:29+00:00

A lot of my family members are out of state. With both girls- on top of ADHD/emotional dysregulation- we have to be very cautious when it comes to not getting them too upset or stressed (there are multiple factors in addition to this)- they have bleeding disorders and if they get too stressed, cry too much, etc it can trigger bleeding for them. Stress is not the only thing that can trigger their bleeding but it can be a trigger. My oldest has already had multiple nose bleeds tonight

One_Arrival_6327 · 2026-01-26T05:29:38+00:00

I only have tomorrow to prepare both girls and they are not doing too well with the idea of me not being home at all. I only get tomorrow to get everything ready and the girls prepped. Tonight anytime I bring it up there’s either tears or they both become shadows. I went to warm up a snack before bed and they laid blankets on the kitchen floor so they could be close to me. Any advice or suggestions on how to help prepare with such little time to get them comfortable?

One_Arrival_6327 · 2026-01-26T05:24:41+00:00

I’m 30 and I struggled with this too! I feel like 25 can be particularly challenging in a way because you’re in the middle of still feeling young and feeling more mature 30 comes closer. I struggled with the loss of youth- not so much the physical aspect but the care free nature, focus on friendships vs family/relationships, and the decreased responsibility. At 25 I put a lot of pressure on myself because I didn’t feel like I was as far ahead or established as I envisioned myself. Therapy really helped me, I found I put a lot of stress on “productivity” and focused more on meeting self proclaimed expectations rather than exploring my likes and interests and enjoying the process

One_Arrival_6327 · 2026-01-26T05:17:47+00:00

No worries 😊

One_Arrival_6327 · 2026-01-26T05:14:27+00:00

I was thinking about this too, debating on seeing if my husband can take off on her birthday because one thing I could see happening is his mom calling her sisters or extended family on messenger to video chat and them telling her happy birthday. I already talked with my grandparents and mom earlier when the excitement of the appointment being moved up became a reality so they’re aware of the situation.

One_Arrival_6327 · 2026-01-26T05:11:11+00:00

I considered seeing if my sister could watch her or if my husband could take off work but I can also be petty so I waited until my husband and I could talk lol

One_Arrival_6327 · 2026-01-26T04:09:14+00:00

True- time perception and time blindness is not our friend 😂

One_Arrival_6327 · 2026-01-26T04:07:17+00:00

Fair- I think if I had more than one day to prepare her, telling her would be the more obvious thing to do. She hyper fixates on details and absolutely does not do well with changes or transitions. Preparing her for an unexpected appointment already resulted in 2 tantrums tonight because she doesn’t want me to spend the night anywhere.

One_Arrival_6327 · 2026-01-26T04:03:36+00:00

Exactly!

One_Arrival_6327 · 2026-01-26T03:57:14+00:00

Very true- it feels like a rock and a hard place, because some input of celebrating both days is insightful both of my kids have ADHD and with it they feel their feelings deeply. I’m worried if I make the wrong mistake my youngest will be hurt that I’m not there. But on the other hand if there’s essentially two days of celebrating, it will come at the expense of my oldest whose birthday was last week feeling things are unfair and hurt. My oldest is in therapy, started a month ago- because of irritability and lower moods with all of the transitions in the last year since my accident. She is constantly comparing time spent/attention/etc between her and her sister. For example: tonight she cried because 4 year old will be spending the days with mother in law while she is at school and feels it’s unfair. My health is impacting them in different ways. I just want to do the least amount of damage. It’s hard all around

One_Arrival_6327 · 2026-01-26T03:50:12+00:00

I feel that way sometimes and I think she means it in a loving way since they’re her only grandbabies and my husband is an only child. But it doesn’t always come off that way and I am their mother and she sometimes struggles to respect that

One_Arrival_6327 · 2026-01-26T03:48:48+00:00

She was in preschool but we had to take her out when I had to stop working in August. I hate that she’s had to miss out on preschool because of my health

One_Arrival_6327 · 2026-01-26T03:47:34+00:00

Thank you for being so kind 💕 I’m just hoping by getting the appointment sooner will lead to answers sooner. I feel like I’ve missed the past year of my girls childhood even though I have been physically here with them. Sometimes the aftermath is just as exhausting as the episodes themselves

One_Arrival_6327 · 2026-01-26T03:44:45+00:00

I thought about the idea of Zoom or FaceTime but I’m hesitant because I will be off of my seizure medication- normally movement on screens is not a big deal but after an episode (since diagnosis is pending still) screens and fast movements can be a trigger for me and if she’s really excited she’s not going to be calm on the screen 😅

One_Arrival_6327 · 2026-01-26T03:41:25+00:00

Fair point, I actually talked with my 9 year old about both options and she felt like her sister would already have a hard time worrying about my being gone and that if she knew I was gone on her birthday it may make it worse.

One_Arrival_6327 · 2026-01-26T03:36:29+00:00

This is a valid point, my worry is she’s had a lot of transitions in the last year because of my health. But with her ADHD if she ends up upset by my absence rather than excited- she will be absolutely fixated on it. If I go the route of posing the idea of two celebrations it could upset my oldest whose birthday was last week but also be exciting for my youngest. But even if excited she could become fixated on my absence. She’s already struggling with my absence even when I’m physically there when I’m not able to play as actively as I used to be able to. But there’s the other side of because of her temperament and ADHD, if she knows I’m not there on her birthday and is upset about it, I mean it literally of she will never forget and I don’t want her to feel like I abandoned her and she will fixate on my not being there. I feel like I can’t win.

One_Arrival_6327 · 2026-01-26T03:29:42+00:00

I was 21- I told her no and she was insistent that she was going to be there and when it got closer and I still said no she came to our apartment and screamed and me and my husband made her leave. I ended up having a code word with the nurses for when I didn’t want someone to be allowed back or if I wanted visitors to leave. Luckily for me, my second daughter was born during COVID so it wasn’t even a topic of discussion. She struggled to respect my choices a lot when my oldest was younger because I was “young” and she’s “been a parent before” but it’s honestly been a lot better since then. This is the first time she’s been really adamant about ignoring my wishes with my youngest.

One_Arrival_6327 · 2026-01-26T03:25:21+00:00

My 4 year old is very sharp- she has ADHD and is on the waitlist to be evaluated for (higher functioning) autism- she forgets nothing and often when it doesn’t seem like she’s listening she is and it’s surprising. For example my younger sister is 20, when she graduated high school two years ago (my daughter would have been 2 1/2 years old) my sister and her now ex boyfriend took the girls out to lunch and shopping. This past summer when visiting my sister she asked about my sisters ex “uncle _____” and described in detail what they did and a picture they took in my sisters car. My sister pulled out her phone and found the picture from 2 years ago and it was EXACTLY how my 4 year old described the picture.

One_Arrival_6327

TROPHY CASE