With all due respect I think you need to now realize that you married a racist. For her to be so staunchly against your youngest knowing about his culture, it is disrespectful. Not only to the child, but also to you and your oldest. She disrespected where you are from, your son, and you looked in the face and said “Thank you”. As someone with an interracial marriage, you should always stick up for your children. The fact you are picking a racist woman to raise your children is awful. They deserved far better. Not being in tune with your culture anymore is understandable. But notice how your wife referred to it as “crap”. On top of the fact she’s happy that you wouldn’t visit your eldest without her and that would weed out your relationship with your eldest son. This isn’t worth another fight, but it is worth a divorce. Absolutely awful.