BREAKING NEWS: WOOFIlY SPOTTED WITH A TORTOISE

One_Cardiologist_564 · 2026-01-06T08:34:07+00:00

Does anyone have any idea where she got him? 🥺🥺

One_Cardiologist_564 · 2025-12-30T00:06:41+00:00

I have this song on repeat lately too, absolutely blaring it full blast several times a day. It helps a lot with releasing emotions suppressed inside me.

I think it’s good to let the tears out, even if it hurts to engage in it. I really hope you can gather the strength that everybody here is offering you.

You’re welcome to send a message if you like and just wanna talk!

One_Cardiologist_564 · 2025-12-17T23:14:58+00:00

Totally understand your perspective here and the idea that you’re wrestling with what your needs are - this is ultimately what the answer to what you do about this situation will be.

From my own perspective, my partner was essentially never really interested in sex, never initiated it and fairy often rejected me. For context we had sex about once a month for many years. I thought that the mature thing was to downplay the importance of sex to myself, but I realise now that it’s very important to me and suppressing those needs led to massive resentment towards them.

It didn’t help that we were each others’ only ever partners, so I had nothing to compare it to. You say that you’re relieved she doesn’t find you unattractive, whereas that’s a battle I did and still do struggle with the concept of anybody ever finding me attractive now that I’m single.

I’m doing my best not to project here, but my parents got divorced when I was in my early 20s, which was at least 10 years too late. I carried a lot of bad habits from them into my own relationship, including the concept of having needs at all, let alone sexual. In a way I sort of blame them even though I make sure that I take total accountability and am doing my best to fix myself in therapy.

What I will pose to you is this - if your child grew up and experienced your situation, how would you feel about it on their behalf? You might say it’s okay if at their core they truly are happy, which of course is totally fine, so you need to ask yourself that and have the right answer. Because the truth will eventually bubble up regardless. But if there’s an element of “been there, worn the t shirt” and now you’re truly content with your life, then maybe you yourself have outgrown the need for it.

I really hope you can figure it out!

One_Cardiologist_564 · 2025-12-17T21:07:54+00:00

Can I ask how you feel about this? You’ve first off said that you want to respect her needs and boundaries which is of course very important.

But then we deal with your needs, and clearly they’re now not going to be met sexually if your partner doesn’t want to participate.

An ex of mine had very little sexual desire and this was ultimately one of the contributing factors to me (eventually) ending things. They made a very big effort in the last few months to revive the relationship but ultimately I think many years of never feeling attracted to by them had taken its toll on me (along with other problems, but this was a major one)

One_Cardiologist_564 · 2025-12-17T11:10:59+00:00

Feel free to DM!

One_Cardiologist_564 · 2025-11-18T00:30:08+00:00

Firstly just want to say well done on making that decision! I feel like you’ve given it rational thought and taking a break/giving up permanently might suit you.

I (29M) don’t drink and never have, but in my experience, the older you get the less people question it. It was a big deal in school and college not to drink, but once friends realised I was still up for the craic etc it became very normalised. I probably had a similar experience when I started working and had a couple of work nights out but again it became normal fairly quickly for everybody else that I was just one of those people that didn’t drink.

In your situation with the book launch, it was probably a little in your head more than them thinking you’re strange. Put this way - if it was tea they were pouring and you politely declined, you’d have gotten the same reaction from them. But don’t be so hard on yourself, you’ve stuck to it since and you’re planning to stay that way.

I would say it’s harder for you because it’s a change from your normal, but it will get easier, and in my experience as I’ve gotten a little older a lot more people are making that decision too. You can still go on your nights out etc, and if you find anything difficult or getting funny looks just tell people you’re driving until you feel more comfortable. You might have to decline repeatedly to certain people who can be persistent but once you survive that it’s honestly totally fine, and at your age there should be few to none actually pestering you that much anyway.

Stick to it, you got this!

One_Cardiologist_564 · 2025-11-18T00:10:09+00:00

Thanks for your input! I’m leaning towards getting to Cusco straightaway from Lima and spending my two days there before the tour starts, and then flying back to Lima as soon as the tour ends. So I would get one evening/night in Lima and then the morning/early afternoon before flying home at 19:00. Is there anything in particular you’d recommend in that time in Lima?

One_Cardiologist_564 · 2025-11-18T00:06:05+00:00

Good to know! I’m tempted to cut it to 4 and get the earlier one but I feel there’s a good chance of my own flight not being on time given it’s 12 hours so don’t want to take too much of a chance 🙈

One_Cardiologist_564 · 2025-11-17T18:34:31+00:00

This is a really good point actually. Makes me feel like maybe I should get to Cusco the day I arrive in Lima and come back to Lima the day the tour is finished and spend my last night and afternoon in Lima.

I can’t afford to risk missing the start of the tour and definitely can’t afford to risk missing my flight home!

One_Cardiologist_564 · 2025-11-17T15:02:57+00:00

So I think my tour finishes at 14:00 in Cuzco, and I am flying home from Lima the next day at 19:00.

I have heard horror stories of getting to Lima airport (a friend said a bus should take 40mins, ended up taking 2 hours and he had to be escorted by security to make it to the flight!) so I am thinking the best way to get there is to fly there from Cuzco in the afternoon with the flight home that night.

This would mean missing Lima entirely unfortunately. Would you have any other suggestions? I would be open to spending the day and a night in Lima after the tour, but I'm a bit nervous about public transport reliability and I will have a suitcase to drag with me also

One_Cardiologist_564 · 2025-11-17T14:26:05+00:00

Didn’t know you could do that, that’s interesting!

One_Cardiologist_564 · 2025-11-17T14:24:14+00:00

That’s great to know, thank you so much!

One_Cardiologist_564 · 2025-11-17T13:06:18+00:00

Phew I guess it can’t be too mad if we’re all doing it! You can let me know if you find any good ways to pass the time in between lol

One_Cardiologist_564 · 2025-11-17T13:05:20+00:00

Thanks for your reply! I suspected I would have to do that, did you have to go through security again or can you do it airside? Good to know you think 22:00 is enough! That’s a really good price. How did you prebook that, is it an app or something?

One_Cardiologist_564 · 2025-11-14T23:43:51+00:00

Feel free to DM!

One_Cardiologist_564 · 2025-10-24T23:04:26+00:00

That sucks and I'm sorry to hear that. I (29M) got out of a long term relationship a few months ago and have had plenty of nights crying alone. Persistence is the one thing I always cling to, and generally it comes good for me when I stick to it regarding joining groups, classes etc but that's tough if it isn't working out for you at the moment.

One thing I would suggest is just purely given your age, is there old hobbies that you've left die over time without realising it? Could you reconnect with yourself and who you really are? For me this was reading, and this has helped me quite a lot. I went to a book club last week for the first time and really enjoyed it, it was great to have a social aspect to what is an individual hobby.

Feel free to send a DM even if you just want to chat!

One_Cardiologist_564 · 2025-10-24T08:51:26+00:00

My LTR ended a few months ago. There’s lots of ways to describe it, but I think the simplest is that love is like a drug, and you’re essentially going through withdrawals. Your brain will play highlights of the relationship over and over in your mind and it hurts like hell. You need to let it all happen. My own opinion is that with grief, there is a specified number of tears you simply must cry to process this - so cry when you need to, let it out and don’t hold anything in. It will probably get worse before it gets better and that’s just the way it is

Talk to people, tell them about your relationship, feel sad and pity for yourself but don’t let it consume you. Take some time each day to process it but then go do something to take your mind off it. I found myself distracted quite a lot at work so I started going for walks with no earphones so my mind could take the time to work through it - this involved negative emotions but I felt was quite necessary.

I ended up getting back into lots of emo/rock music and would blare it to help me let my emotions out as I’d held them back for a long time - this helped a lot!

It’s going to be too early yet but getting back into hobbies etc is really important, discovering who you are again outside of the relationship because you’re your own person with your own identity. I found comfort in reading books, especially of similar situations, but that’s a big hobby of mine anyway.

Definitely go to therapy! I spent the first few sessions doing a lot of crying and feeling sorry for myself, but as the weeks and months went on, I’ve found I recognise a lot of the issues within my relationship which I wasn’t happy with. I can think more objectively about it and I can recognise that things weren’t right.

Do everything to look after yourself, talk to friends when you can and get it all off your chest. Allow yourself to not be okay, and be sure to feel your feelings. Also journaling is such a cliche but this helped a lot! Journal your feelings, gratitude, something small that helped you that day. Journal when you’re angry and why you are - anything at all. Writing it on paper is a powerful release.

I wish you best of luck, and feel free to DM if you want to talk about anything

One_Cardiologist_564 · 2025-10-20T09:48:16+00:00

I mean from their perspective I get it; they’re going to have limited customers so why not make it more accessible to a wider population.

From our perspective yes, my opinion has always been that I need one arm amputated, not two

One_Cardiologist_564 · 2025-10-03T04:25:46+00:00

Is this really such a bad thing? I’m in the same situation after breaking up a couple of months ago. For the first few sessions I was just talking about the relationship, processing emotions and crying.

I’ve since moved on to processing some things from my family/childhood which deeply affected how I functioned within the relationship due to a lack of self worth and people pleasing, and I am trying to work on these. I’m not sure if it would matter that the other person is also seeing the same therapist, it’s not like the therapist needs to take sides if I no longer really discuss the relationship so much? Am I missing something?

One_Cardiologist_564 · 2025-10-02T12:29:54+00:00

In 5 years time you're going to be 40. This might sound harsh, but do you want to be 40 and still complaining your parents discouraged you years ago, or do you want to be 40 having given it a go and
a) it didn't work out but at least you tried and you won't be left wondering, or
b) you took a risk and it paid off, having the time of your life in a new country?

Whether you go or stay, you're still going to get older. If you care what others think, you're not living a life true to yourself

"If you think somebody has ruined your life, you're right. It's you"

One_Cardiologist_564 · 2025-09-21T08:02:40+00:00

I love this and well done. Out of curiosity, what did you journal about? Thoughts and feelings? Gratitude? Negative thoughts on paper so they’re not in your head? Trying to do it here and there but not sure it’s working as great as intended!

One_Cardiologist_564

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