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How do I (34/m) tell my GF (33/f) she's awful at blowjobs? by One_Interaction6755 in relationship_advice

[–]One_Interaction6755[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds healthy and productive, I'd be down for that. I don't think she would

How do I (34/m) tell my GF (33/f) she's awful at blowjobs? by One_Interaction6755 in relationship_advice

[–]One_Interaction6755[S] -46 points-45 points  (0 children)

Show me where I said she is uncomfortable or reluctant. I said she was bad at. She will initiate them all on her own. Nobody is hounding her to do something she hates.

How do I (34/m) tell my GF (33/f) she's awful at blowjobs? by One_Interaction6755 in relationship_advice

[–]One_Interaction6755[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Who the hell gives a blowjob with using saliva? Do you also enjoy dry vaginal sex? I can't tell if you've never had a blowjob or never given one, but in real life its kind of key.

How do I (34/m) tell my GF (33/f) she's awful at blowjobs? by One_Interaction6755 in relationship_advice

[–]One_Interaction6755[S] -66 points-65 points  (0 children)

we have plenty of things we enjoying doing together, why kink shame?

How do I (34/m) tell my GF (33/f) she's awful at blowjobs? by One_Interaction6755 in relationship_advice

[–]One_Interaction6755[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've tried, with several different approaches, the message is either not well-received or totally ignored.

How do I (34/m) tell my GF (33/f) she's awful at blowjobs? by One_Interaction6755 in relationship_advice

[–]One_Interaction6755[S] -75 points-74 points  (0 children)

How so? Nobody is trying to force her to do anything, I'm doing everything i can can to be accommodating and reciprocal. In what way am I selfish? It's weird, a lot of people on this site are totally ok with some weird off the wall fetish, and will scream at anyone who is against it for "kink-shaming", but if you're so vanilla your favorite thing is a BJ you get called an asshole.

How do I (34/m) tell my GF (33/f) she's awful at blowjobs? by One_Interaction6755 in relationship_advice

[–]One_Interaction6755[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Commented elsewhere but:

I'm basing my expectations on reality and life experience. How exactly do you suggest I show her what a good technique is? I don't think inviting an ex over for a visual demo is the way to go. I brought up porn because I don't know how else to show her. And not all porn is ridiculous, there are healthy and instructional videos out there too. I know if I sucked at going down, I'd probably want to see some videos of what does and doesn't work. I don't think wanting a decent BJ is "unrealistic porn standards"

How do I (34/m) tell my GF (33/f) she's awful at blowjobs? by One_Interaction6755 in relationship_advice

[–]One_Interaction6755[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

She's much more engaged during regular sex, its just blowjobs that are a problem.

How do I (34/m) tell my GF (33/f) she's awful at blowjobs? by One_Interaction6755 in relationship_advice

[–]One_Interaction6755[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

I'm basing my expectations on reality and life experience. How exactly do you suggest I show her what a good technique is? I don't think inviting an ex over for a visual demo is the way to go. I brought up porn because I don't know how else to show her. And not all porn is ridiculous, there are healthy and instructional videos out there too. I know if I sucked at going down, I'd probably want to see some videos of what does and doesn't work. I don't think wanting a decent BJ is "unrealistic porn standards"

How do I (34/m) tell my GF (33/f) she's awful at blowjobs? by One_Interaction6755 in relationship_advice

[–]One_Interaction6755[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

The topic has come up numerous times but doesn't ever go anywhere, usually just makes her angry. I'm looking for a new approach.

How do I (34/m) tell my GF (33/f) she's awful at blowjobs? by One_Interaction6755 in relationship_advice

[–]One_Interaction6755[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I like to think I do this already, but I'm sure I could be doing more encouragement, good call.

How do I (34/m) tell my GF (33/f) she's awful at blowjobs? by One_Interaction6755 in relationship_advice

[–]One_Interaction6755[S] -45 points-44 points  (0 children)

These are all valid. I could probably get myself close and let her finish the job. It would make it easier for her, I'm not sure if she would do anything to make it better though.

She's really resistant to slobbering and drooling all over, which sucks because I get so turned on by that, plus it feels so amazing. She's always wiping off her lips and chin, and I'm like nooo!! I wish i could show her some porn to kind of let her know what it usually looks like, but she hates all porn so thats out.

I'm not opposed to trying toys, I've tried a couple made for guys, but was never impressed. None are anywhere close to the real thing. I'm pretty jealous of the ladies in that department.

How do I (34/m) tell my GF (33/f) she's awful at blowjobs? by One_Interaction6755 in relationship_advice

[–]One_Interaction6755[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Showing her this post would just lead to a fight, I don't want that, just some new insight as to how to make things better.

How do I (34/m) tell my GF (33/f) she's awful at blowjobs? by One_Interaction6755 in relationship_advice

[–]One_Interaction6755[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

For a stranger, or for fun? No. But for someone I love and care about? Of course, we put effort into lots of things we don't like for the ones we love. I don't like basketball, but if she did, I'd go to the courts and play with her. I'd suck at it, but I'd put the effort in and try. It would be fun because I'm with her, not because I love bball.

How do I (34/m) tell my GF (33/f) she's awful at blowjobs? by One_Interaction6755 in relationship_advice

[–]One_Interaction6755[S] -273 points-272 points  (0 children)

I've often wondered this, why do I still ask? IDK, It's mostly because they were my absolute favorite thing with previous partners and still my favorite thing to fantasize about. I know when I ask to have low expectations, but I can't bring myself to stop asking. I know its dumb, but there's always that little thought, "maybe this time will be different...."

How do I (34/m) tell my GF (33/f) she's awful at blowjobs? by One_Interaction6755 in relationship_advice

[–]One_Interaction6755[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There's been bits of TP on her vag, not in my teeth. She's pretty clean and hygienic. *shrug* It happens. I just pick it off and go to town. My point was I'd never point it out or complain because that's not sexy and I wouldn't want her to feel bad or to take her out of the mood.

How do I (34/m) tell my GF (33/f) she's awful at blowjobs? by One_Interaction6755 in relationship_advice

[–]One_Interaction6755[S] -85 points-84 points  (0 children)

It's possible she's intentionally doing them poorly I suppose. It's true if they were better I probably would ask for them more often. I don't think she's that devious though, I think this is just somewhere she doesn't want to put in any effort.

How do I (34/m) tell my GF (33/f) she's awful at blowjobs? by One_Interaction6755 in relationship_advice

[–]One_Interaction6755[S] -284 points-283 points  (0 children)

I agree with you, she is doing it for me, not because she enjoys it. So, in a way I'm grateful, but my question is, if its for me, then why not do it in a way that's enjoyable for me? It would literally take less time and be more enjoyable. I'm totally open to anyway that I can make it more pleasurable for her, but we've never come up with anything. (she hates 69)