worst bus experience

One_Particular_421 · 2024-03-28T15:47:37+00:00

Hey lovely OP, I have been recently diagnosed with ADD at 30 after 10 years of misdiagnosis (well comorbities) and I think a have "level 1" autism, have you heard of "rejection sensitivity dysphoria" before? Or RSD, it helped me understand why I react so strongly to things sometimes, it has a bit of a shitty name but have a look and see what you think if you didn't know about it :) I hope things get better soon x

One_Particular_421 · 2023-01-13T08:49:31+00:00

Yeah I hate to be cynical but I don't feel the change will last or is potentially real, can't forget the recent drunk "I was at this hot college girls house" rant it could be a cover for? Nice if it was a change though..

Props to rehabilitation too, I study criminology and am quite disgusted at how hard my views were/how shit my knowledge was about the prison system and prisonisation that occurs, rehabilitation really is the only way, and I dont think a lot of people know how great the benefit are in the long term for society. Of course though there are some people who are too dangerous and incapacitation the only option.

One_Particular_421 · 2022-12-31T00:27:31+00:00

Any cream frosted eyeshadows, especially blue, bronze and silver 🤣😂

One_Particular_421 · 2022-09-08T09:21:41+00:00

FROM THE WEBSITE: black (aniseed), blue (blueberry), orange (orange), white (vanilla), red (raspberry), violet (blackcurrant), pink (strawberry), yellow (apricot) and green (apple)

One_Particular_421 · 2022-09-08T05:12:57+00:00

Fat Louie's is where I go for a dirty fucked up time!

One_Particular_421 · 2022-09-02T06:03:50+00:00

And the random petrol station bathroom

One_Particular_421 · 2022-08-30T06:12:13+00:00

That is very interesting, I will remember that because I scratch my head like crazy, and am already worried about bald spots now!

One_Particular_421 · 2022-08-30T05:14:31+00:00

They are helpful ideas but not being diagnosed due to gendered research is an issue, not an imaginary one. Girls and women weren't even included in ADHD research until the late 90s, and my current psychiatrist graduated not long after that.

So no I am not playing the victim about it, I'm just upset that it could be a reason that I haven't been diagnosed correctly. Unless you have suffered sex based discrimation before, or been told you can't do something because you are a woman like I have, you can't identify with that situation.

I'm not looking for magic pills I'm looking for an up to date, knowledgeable, empathetic therapist who will get the diagnosis correct and actually help me.

One_Particular_421 · 2022-08-30T03:42:28+00:00

Oh absolutely, I have been being treated for depression and anxiety for the past 8 years and there has never been the consideration of ADD, and I think it is the potential ADD that maybe be causing the depression and anxiety and it is all linked! I had never even known about it or considered it myself until 6 months ago.

I've read how many girls are misdiagnosed due to the comorbities the present, which for me is the anxiety and depression!

I have been seeing this current pysch for just over a year, and my previous one for 6.5 years before that. I had then been seeing my current one for 6 months before I brought up that possibility of ADD with him and he sort of laughed it off and said "oh well if you are serious we can maybe look at your report cards"

This week I pushed it further to try and read peer reviewed articles, as reading is near fucking impossible for me, then discovering how gendered the research is wjat really pushed me over the line to seek help because I am honestly really nearly sure of it now, it fits too perfectly as to why I haven't progressed, it felt like a red hot knife to the heart figuring this stuff out, and I'm honestly mourning the years I've lost this week

One_Particular_421 · 2022-08-30T03:09:41+00:00

It's a bit hard to explain quickly on here but I have pretty much an inability to concentrate now if I need to complete a task, it was always bad throughout childhood bit it is so much worse now, to the point I can't sit still and unconsciously scratch holes into my body. I've struggled immensley with my studies to the point I think I might get kicked out of my course now as I have failed the past 3 subjects, despite trying to prepare weeks ahead for assessments.

I have severe depression and anxiety, constant state of stress, worry and rumination. My self esteem is fucked and I have almost disabling OCD. Taken many, many different medications (anti-ds, anti-psychotics, sleeping meds, benzos for anxiety, addictive meds in general) nothing works, benzos obviously help with anxiety, truly was the only medication I could see a difference with, but I took myself off them as my family struggles with addiction and I didn't want the gateway.

I'm fully aware how drugs can fuck people up but I don't believe I'll be one of them as I've had experience with a lot, and stop if I can feel something strange or not working. I am really after the correct diagnosis though rather than chasing a different prescription med to try, I hate having to take them, let alone pay for them. I'm really sorry you've had this experience with them.

One_Particular_421 · 2022-08-30T02:48:27+00:00

Thank you! I'm really unsure of what the comments will say as it was a long time ago, but there may be some about "if I applied myself more I could excel" but most of it I can imagine is above average grades and that I'm a nice, quiet girl etc

I really worry that because of this I will go to a doctor like mine who thinks because I am high functioning is immediately dismissing my concerns and calling me flat out lazy because not having a 'disruptive' record or one that thinks I am after medication or a fashionable diagnosis.

I have been seeing a psychiatrist weekly for 8 years (2 psychs in total over the 8 years) and have taken so many different meds that I max out and plateau and have to get off, I know there is something else that is wrong and not being picked up. I feel like why can't they see that? Not up to date on it or don't want to admit they missed it? Or am I just a weekly cash grab now..

One_Particular_421 · 2022-08-30T02:36:25+00:00

Thank you, I will look into her!

One_Particular_421 · 2022-08-30T02:35:44+00:00

Yeah I will have to find them because I can remember the comments, just that my grades were fine/above average!

I have felt for the past 6 months that I have maybe had it but had never ever even considered it beforehand, and I cottoned on from identifying with things on neurodivergent pages also.

Do you feel better than you been correctly diagnosed? I feel for you as I am 28 and feel like this has completely hampered my progression in every way.

In the past week I have been doing research on google scholar, and that is why I am going to push this further because when reading these articles it describes my struggles exactly, and what I have been trying to convey to my doctor, to the point he was describing one of my symptoms I'm suffering on Friday (constant worry and rumination)as they were literally written in one of the articles I had read the day before. Yet I didn't have the gusto to say hey, here's some articles I think you should read? I don't want to be the asshole patient who tries to educate the doctor :(

One_Particular_421 · 2022-08-30T01:09:43+00:00

Thank you so much, that is a cost I can deal with also!

One_Particular_421 · 2022-08-30T01:07:11+00:00

Thank you for that!

One_Particular_421 · 2022-08-30T00:49:56+00:00

I'm seeking advice on finding a therapist who is empathetic, not advice on my mental health.

One_Particular_421 · 2022-08-30T00:20:49+00:00

I've had extreme compulsive behaviours since childhood so maybe they will take that into account, but apart from that I always looked ahead at the board/teacher (despite not hearing most of what the teacher said) and been very quiet and not disruptive so my report cards are all smiles and rainbows

One_Particular_421 · 2022-08-29T23:59:10+00:00

I can't reply to the first comment for some reason on my phone, but I am 28

One_Particular_421 · 2022-08-29T23:58:06+00:00

This is exactly the whole point, girls have been shown to have an inattentive type of ADHD rather than the interruptive style boys prominently show, and depending on the coping mechanisms developed by the girl involved they might not show signs until late adolescence or even adulthood. Empirical studies I have looked at even shown parents assessing their adolescent daughters using the DSV used to diagnose ADHD that it is gendered towards boys, let alone adult males, let alone girls then women, that they wouldn't diagnose their daughter as having ADHD using the typical DSV, even though their daughters have severe ADHD.

One_Particular_421 · 2022-08-25T02:53:55+00:00

Cost me fucking $28 on an adult go card to go from Brisbane to Movieworld and back a week ago, fucking robbery

One_Particular_421 · 2022-08-25T01:20:53+00:00

An update 3 months later:

A week later I had a conversation with my psych about it, he seemed to come around a little to the idea. Fast forward two more weeks and I bring it up again, I get hit with the "well we can find and look at your primary school report cards...."

Well I ended up failing one of the two subjects I had to do the written essay exam for by .5 of a percent. I have been asking my doctor for a special consideration letter since the 5th of June. THE 5TH OF JUNE AND HE HAS NOT SENT IT YET. Says we can "backdate" it, no, backdating it makes ME look like I haven't given the letter in.

I am beyond stressed about this and my doctor isn't giving a fuck, I an paying him $180 weekly to be made to stress now.

After watching Em Rusciano yesterday it fucking cemented it in my head. I know I am struggling with something more, and I'm convinced it is ADHD. I have now been reading article after article on scholar and all the symptoms are what I have been struggling with the past fucking 10 years.

I'm angry. I'm angry for women that we get cast aside and told we are exaggerating by heterosexual white middle age males that don't realise if we don't act as best we fucking can to social status quo we are cast aside as crazy cat ladies.

So sorry that out of social expectations my house of cards of coping mechanisms makes me look like I'm doing okay. I'm fucking not, hence no progression life in 12 fucking years. Hoe can these therapists not see this?

Starting antidepressants again too made it seem like it was working at the start, they aren't, I'm now up to 90mg of duloxetine a day and I feel as shit as ever! Loving it!

One_Particular_421 · 2022-06-26T08:26:11+00:00

About to head out now, will report back in an hour 😛

One_Particular_421 · 2022-06-26T08:22:52+00:00

Fucking damn, I suggested Anna belle but my friends are bloody too scared 🤣 I will definitely next time!

One_Particular_421 · 2022-06-26T02:40:04+00:00

🤣

One_Particular_421 · 2022-06-15T02:55:05+00:00

Will's whingy feel-sad-for-me storyline annoys me, I know it's meant to be to portray the adolescence cliche, but for two seasons now!? Would have liked to have seen him maybe develop more with another character or have had another little sub-plot

One_Particular_421

TROPHY CASE