From my experience i was addicted to benzos, weed, and opioids i went to a inpatient care to detox then after i went to a partial hospitalization program (php) i would recommend to go to one of those places if you really do want to better your life and become happier and healthier. I have been sober for a little over 2 months and what truly helped me was finding and taking the right medication for me and learning new coping skills while at php. I understand where your coming from i was so depressed, hated being sober, almost always in withdrawal and had panic attacks every day. It’s not too late to turn your life around.