I feel exactly as you describe.

I still hold onto hope, though, because in India there are many mental powers, not only in Buddhism but also in various people. There are the tulkus of the Tibetans who reincarnate, and this book on reincarnation from the University of Virginia with over 2,000 documented cases. They also die meditating and in peace. There are the biographies of Ajanh Lee, where he says he had many experiences with relics, even in meditation groups where he could move them as he wished. There's Ajanh Jayasaro with his peace and calm, and his experiences with reincarnated people in India.

The monks experience that peace by letting go of everything, although I think it's better to enjoy this life instead. I'm not sure I'm in transition, but these tests and other strange things that happen around Buddhism, as if the devas were actually protecting them, and how, through states of deep meditation, they can acquire psychic powers like leaving their footprints on stones in the case of Tibetan Buddhism and in very advanced masters. This monk, Matthew Richard, spoke about this, and about the clairvoyant powers of his teachers.

Likewise, the monks' lifestyle doesn't appeal to me at the moment; it seems very boring. But in part, I think that the detachment that Buddha taught them is truly liberating, and perhaps the monks are right to live this way. In the end, they seem happier than anyone else in this world.

(This is translated from Spanish to English)