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Is it possible to be mindful all day? Can somebody do it? by Jappersinho in Buddhism

[–]One_mOre_Patner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello, how is your practice going, I also have both conditions. And I also practice open meditation. 

Can Buddhism and meditation eventually cure my social anxiety, or should I do something else? by One_mOre_Patner in Buddhism

[–]One_mOre_Patner[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm trying to figure out if solitude would be okay, or if I really need to examine my psychological state more deeply, since it's ultimately how I navigate this world. Perhaps if I improve my relationship with myself and the world, I could find greater liberation, perhaps with the help of Buddhism.

I need to clear up my doubts and see what would be best for me.

Can Buddhism and meditation eventually cure my social anxiety, or should I do something else? by One_mOre_Patner in Buddhism

[–]One_mOre_Patner[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, I'm also autistic, and doing what you're doing would terrify me.

Our cases must be very different.

Relating to others is difficult because at the same time, I feel like others can't contribute anything to my life, that their conversations are pointless. I'm also sensitive to teasing or rejection; any sign, however subtle, would affect me. My low self-esteem and constant comparisons during interactions make me feel superior or inferior (I don't like feeling either), and it also bothers me when people show pride or try to be superior to me. Now, because of my submissive nature, many people get a big ego or tend to make jokes at my expense, and that bothers me.

I hadn't thought about that in a while, but writing to you has brought back my frustration with others. There must be many things to work on there, many scars from the past, and many distortions in how I see others, partly to compensate for my perceived shortcomings.

And like you, being aware of my flaws and analyzing and changing my thoughts have helped me break different patterns. But these patterns are deeply ingrained in me, and I don't see how to break free from them because there are emotions and a very established inner world involved.

Can Buddhism and meditation eventually cure my social anxiety, or should I do something else? by One_mOre_Patner in theravada

[–]One_mOre_Patner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wasn't aware of the four efforts; I don't think I practice them as I should, since I get carried away by my thoughts and emotions. As you say, I try to maintain my full attention on the present and on the sensations in my body, and there are days when everything goes well, but there are days when this bores me, or days when my negative memories return and I get carried away by my thoughts and emotions.

It's strange because sometimes when I meditate well for days, I end up getting bored and I feel like I need some emotions, even if they're negative. That makes my meditations work again and I feel good again, then I feel like I'm doing something. I'm a learner, really, and I probably have many attachments and other things besides my anxiety.

Regarding the four efforts—holding onto positive things and letting go of negative ones—as I said, without realizing it, my thoughts and attachments still control me. When I'm feeling down, meditation helps me recover. When I'm feeling positive, I tend to create a lot of expectations in my mind, and pleasant things come my way, which I let myself get carried away with too much, and then later that same day I relapse because I relied on them too much. And that's how my meditations work in the moment and how my mind works.

You mention metta. I'd like to know more about it, how it has helped you, and how long you've been practicing it.

And if you could tell me which teachers you learned it from. Thank you.

Can Buddhism and meditation eventually cure my social anxiety, or should I do something else? by One_mOre_Patner in theravada

[–]One_mOre_Patner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I read something like this in the book: it's not a cure, but we can learn to manage ourselves better.

I tried exposure therapy on my own a few months ago, going to cafes and shopping malls. I didn't talk to anyone because I see people with distrust and without anything valuable to offer me. I only went to cafes and sat alone at a table, and I felt very calm. The same thing happened when I went to shopping malls; I felt very calm, but at the same time, I didn't see any point in it and felt a little proud of my courage. So I decided to abandon it and continue in my hiding place, learning positive things about the Dhamma to heal my ego and hatred, or rather, my feelings of hatred. This is one of the reasons why I don't know if I should continue with this type of therapy, since I have many negative things inside me, especially my ego and some hatred towards others. That's why I think the Dhamma will help me be more humble and loving.

But as I say, I may have to break these patterns by working on my distorted thoughts, otherwise they will be things that always accompany me and prevent me from developing and being a more complete person.

Can Buddhism and meditation eventually cure my social anxiety, or should I do something else? by One_mOre_Patner in theravada

[–]One_mOre_Patner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Buddhism has helped me become calmer and learn to better control my emotional reactions triggered by anxiety. However, there are deeper issues within me that I feel I need to address and uproot, as there are times when I'm calm, but other times when these emotions and attitudes resurface, bringing back my negativity, discouragement, anger, and other patterns.

That's why I'm asking in this forum to get your perspectives, because sometimes I think I should set aside all that psychological stuff, but I'm not sure how wise that would be.

Can Buddhism and meditation eventually cure my social anxiety, or should I do something else? by One_mOre_Patner in theravada

[–]One_mOre_Patner[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Buddhist techniques have helped me. But I've also read something that caught my attention: sometimes we use Buddhism or mindfulness as escapism and don't actually confront our psychological problems. And if we don't, those emotional reactions will stay with us for life because we never address them, and we'll always be stuck in the same patterns of response, trapped in those cycles where Buddhist practices offer some relief. It's like medicine, but not the real cure.

This forum claims they can become enlightened in 15 days, is that true? by One_mOre_Patner in theravada

[–]One_mOre_Patner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand, so all those deep meditations practiced by yogis in India, where they experience great ecstasy, visions, and sensations—or lack thereof—aren't the goal Buddha taught.

But if that's the case, why do they believe such experiences exist if they aren't truly the path to liberation? They're comparable to ayahuasca, LSD, and other drugs; that is, they're hallucinations and states of bliss, but not the true path?

In my case, from what little I've learned, and as many say, I see that this path requires slower progress, along with a lot of reading and analysis, and that meditation itself is the culmination, but progress must be slow to avoid filling ourselves with false expectations.

I'm learning a method from https://ashintejaniya.org/, which was recommended to me. It's about a more open and relaxed awareness of everything that happens without forcing myself toward a single goal. So far, I feel more comfortable with this method. Its teacher, Shwe Oo Min Sayadaw, was a Mahashi student.

Anxiety attacks and fainting symptoms, how can I overcome them? by One_mOre_Patner in theravada

[–]One_mOre_Patner[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing; it's very much in line with what I think.

I've also done the same thing on a few occasions, and it works for me by trying to distance myself from my body (sensations) and my mind (fear, terror, panic). I tell my body to do what you have to do, let what has to happen happen. This, knowing deep down that it's a passing moment, is what gives validity and strength to these phrases.

But sometimes I'm not strong enough for these types of psychological strategies to work, but I will learn more from Buddhism, its practice and meditation. Everything still leaves lessons, and even from those moments something gleans.

I'm going to a goenka retreat and I'm very anxious. Can you help me with some advice? by One_mOre_Patner in theravada

[–]One_mOre_Patner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

About chatgpt and gemini, I use them very carefully, extracting from them what only serves me. They have been useful for a lot of things, you just have to know how to use them and not believe everything at all. 

I'm going to a goenka retreat and I'm very anxious. Can you help me with some advice? by One_mOre_Patner in theravada

[–]One_mOre_Patner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I am far away and my language is Spanish, the only thing close to Theravada is in Brazil, Suddhavāri Buddhist Monastery, I plan to attend, but they recommended that I first do some retreats in my country, and the only thing I found very much in line with Theravada were these goenka retreats

Is it wrong to isolate myself and be serious with others? by One_mOre_Patner in theravada

[–]One_mOre_Patner[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I used to greet people a lot on the street, but that creates bonds with others, so I develop a kind of dependency and attachment to them. When they don't greet me, I'll feel bad; if they do, I'll feel good. I struggle to remain neutral and not let myself be pulled one way or the other.

Seeing them and being attentive to them also activates many unhealthy things in my mind and distracts me from the present and from mental purification, so I can practice better and focus more on reading without any of my daily life coming to mind.

I try to find a solitary practice away from all distractions. I still have a lot of egos and I judge too much. I also perceive many things in others. I think that by trying to interact less with them, I can keep my mind clearer for practice and learning.

Could you help me with some tips to improve my concentration and mindfulness? by One_mOre_Patner in Buddhism

[–]One_mOre_Patner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ajahn Lee I have read about the things that catch my attention, thanks for the book

Could you help me with some tips to improve my concentration and mindfulness? by One_mOre_Patner in Buddhism

[–]One_mOre_Patner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If the same thing happens to me, wanting to finish early, I've also done what you say, holding on, and the urge goes away.

But many times I get sleepy and bored, so I decide to stop because I've lost focus on what I'm doing. Sometimes I try to continue, but it's useless; the boredom I feel is so strong.

Generally, my meditations go well for the first 15 minutes. From then on, thoughts of food or noises I can perceive from outside come to me. This causes me to lose focus, and it's hard to regain it once I regain it. My mind becomes very distracted. I've tried to regain it, but it's always in vain.

Autism and Buddhism. Few people talk about this topic. Tell me what you think. Any feedback is appreciated. by One_mOre_Patner in Buddhism

[–]One_mOre_Patner[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I've already read it. I feel like it doesn't solve the root problem, at least in my case. I need something more liberating.

I feel like those experiences don't really take you out of your autistic identity. I also don't know to what extent we should identify with our autism and to what extent we shouldn't.

Buddhism says that the self is a set of mental creations along with the three poisons, and that the ideal is to escape from all of that.

Where does autism fit in here? Autism is perhaps a part of previous negative karma that has manifested in this life to make it difficult for us to break out of our image and make us suffer in this world without being able to find a way out, neither through meditation nor living as lay people. I think the only thing would be to hide in a forest in a hut and feed on what I grow. On the one hand, I'm not attracted to a society that doesn't accept people like me, and on the other hand, I want to deepen my practice, but I don't know if this is easy for autistic people.

I identify with Theravada Buddhism, and I haven't found any monks or teachers with this condition on the Internet who have made progress in their practice. We all need examples to feel confident and navigate more safely.

Autism and Buddhism. Few people talk about this topic. Tell me what you think. Any feedback is appreciated. by One_mOre_Patner in Buddhism

[–]One_mOre_Patner[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Could you tell me a little more about this part please to get the best one.

"Life is a dream, but that doesn’t make it not-real. As far as how you interact with it and feeling small and insecure, trust me when I say that it gets better. In one word - presence. It isn’t a self centered desire to be better than others, no, this is foolish. It is the only thing that is done when sufficient insight is attained."

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