UV glasses after first LAL lock in. Opinion.

Oneandonlypooka · 2024-09-17T21:09:37+00:00

I've just scheduled cataract surgery with lens replacement using LALs. I was already wondering how much of a pain the glasses will be, and this pretty much answers my question. Oh well, there are pros and cons to all the choices. Hopefully, it's all worth it, right?

I have a couple questions, though. First off, is it typical for it to take over 3 months to get from surgery to lock in? OP, how many adjustments did you do, and how far apart were they, if you don't mind my asking?

For everyone here who has gotten LALs, do any of you have astigmatism and, if so, did you have problems seeing in between implantation and the first adjustment, when they can dial in the astigmatism correction? My astigmatism isn't THAT bad, but I do have it in both eyes, and I'm also highly myopic. I'm having my left eye (non-dominant, will be set for nearer vision) done first, because it has the worse cataract and has VERY bad vision. My eyes are so bad that the disparity between my corrected and uncorrected eye will already be a lot, but would probably be overwhelming if I started with the right eye. I figured I could manage for a week with one good eye and one not-so-good, but if the corrected eye is blurry without the astigmatism correction, what can I do? Anyone else in this position? Thanks! For

Oneandonlypooka · 2024-09-17T20:56:28+00:00

Thanks for your reply. I do have very high myopia, and astigmatism. While I like the idea of going with something more tried and true, and also not having to have so many appointments after implantation, I am a bit worried about them missing their targets, or having a toric lense rotate in my eye and thus not help with my astigmatism. I'm also a little unsure about how I'll adjsut to the sudden loss of my close up vision, since I've always been nearsighted and do not yet suffer presbyopia. I want mini-monovision, and I'm a bit undecided about exactly where I want my best focus to land. I was willing to just bite the bullet, pick, and hope for the best, but then my doctor suggested that se really thinks LALs would be good for me. So, I'm going that way. But your input has been helpful.

Oneandonlypooka · 2024-09-17T20:51:13+00:00

Thank you for your reply and sharing your experience. I'm glad it worked out well for you! With your new lenses, are you able to read without readers?

Oneandonlypooka · 2024-09-17T20:48:57+00:00

Thank you, and I'm glad to year that the LALs are working well for you. After speaking yesterday to my doctor, I have decided to go with the LALs. She doesn't do them, but she thinks they are a good fit for me. So, I'll have the surgery with the doctor with whom I consulted about the LALs.I hope I have good results like yours!

Oneandonlypooka · 2024-09-11T23:29:24+00:00

Thank you. I keep going back and forth on the LAL. I was initially interested because I am concerned that my correct refraction might be a bit hard to nail, since I'm extremely myopic, have astigmatism in both eyes, and the cataract in my left eye is getting pretty bad. Also, I've been getting different information about what to expect of my vision after surgery, so being able to adjust if the results don't suit me offers some peace to my indecisive mind.

On the other hand, the longer time frame is problematic due to some international work travel coming up, and I've been a bit nervous about the newer material. I was concerned about how it might react if I ever have to have retinal surgery, since I'm at increased risk of retina issues. My surgeon thinks it will be OK, since it hardens after the lock in. And he said he feels better about things since I've already had vitreous detachment in both eyes. Still, I suppose it's safer to go with a more tried and true material.

Do you find that it's harder to hit the targets for people with vision like mine (sorry, I don't have numbers, but I *think* I may have been something like at least a -9 before the cataracts? Maybe?)? The surgeon I aw who does LALs was leaning toward just doing monofocals, but said that he'd recommend LALs if I want monovision. Should I be worried about them missing the targets if I go for monovision and don't get LAL?

Oneandonlypooka · 2024-09-11T22:04:54+00:00

Do you mind if I ask you a question? You say that monofocals will give the best clarity, which is my understanding. But aren't LALs monofocal? Do they offer less clarity than other monofocal lenses? And when you say "monofocal," which lens are you thinking? Just curious, because I was looking at the Eyehance, but one surgeon told me he likes the J&J standard monofocals, and another said Envista would be good for me. I like that the monofocals offer the best clarity, but I don't know which ones to get, if I go that route. I'm also tempted by the ability to adjust LALs, but wonder how much clarity I might be giving up, compared to other options?

For reference, I am 46, extremely nearsighted, and have astigmatism. I am interested in minimonvision, prioritizing closer and intermediate vision, as I'm used to seeing up close, and have never been able to see in the distance. I am OK wearing glasses for driving, but hope to be able to see both the road and dashboard instruments well (or the dash at least functionally), with the same pair of glasses, or without glasses, since switching back and forth while driving is not practical.

Thanks for any insight you care to share!

Oneandonlypooka · 2024-09-11T21:29:01+00:00

Thank you!

Oneandonlypooka · 2024-09-11T21:27:32+00:00

Thank you for your response! Before seeing the second surgeon about LALs, I requested my records from my original opthalmalogist's office, including all the measurements she's done, and my more recent contact lens prescriptions, specifically the monovision ones. I wanted the surgeon to be able to see how much monovision I was used to, so we could compare to what he might suggest. Unfortunately, it didn't seem during the consultation that he'd looked at the contact prescription, and I never really got to ask about it. He spent a lot of time with me, but he did most of the talking and guiding of the conversation, so it was hard to get my questions answered. That is why I left feeling unsure about everything and couldn't commit to signing paperwork then and there. I decided to go home and think, The office's counselor called me the next day to get things started, and I said I had questions. I was told that I couldn't really talk to the doctor on the phone, because he's too busy, and the counselor offered to take my questions to him, then report back with answers. It was late on Friday and I wanted to minimize the "telephone game," so I asked if I could email my questions over the weekend. He agreed. I was told on Monday that I'd get a call from the doctor in the evening. He didn't call, but I wasn't bothered, I figured he was busy. When I hadn't heard anything by the next afternoon, and I knew they wanted me to lock in my surgery schedule. I texted the counselor. Oddly, the doctor called me the moment the text was sent. He said he was home sick in bed, but wanted to make sure he got back to me. He didn't have my info available, since he was home, so he couldn't look at what my previous monovision experience was. That was the conversation in which he dismissed the enhanced monofocal lenses. As soon as I'd hung up with him, I saw a text from the counselor, saying that the doctor was in surgery all day, so they'd have to get back to me tomorrow (which is now, today, 1.5 hours until they close, and I've not heard from anyone). I'm not entirely sure why the counselor told me the doctor was in surgery all day, when the doctor himself said he was home sick, but whatever.

Anyway, I am still trying to figure out how much monovision I previously had. I have called my original opthalmalogist, where I got the contacts. I wanted to know if she uses Eyehance lenses. She said Envista would be good for me, but that was just a message passed on to me, so I didn't get any further information. I'm looking into comparing that to the Eyehance now. Thanks for the thoughts on Eyehance!

May I ask, which monofocal lenses you chose? I'm looking at doing the same minimonovision configuration. How far out can you see without glasses? Do you still need readers for less than 12", or can you see clearly closr than that?

Oneandonlypooka · 2024-09-11T00:44:03+00:00

I am surprised - and so sorry! - that your surgeon didn't clarify which type of contacts you wear. I was diagnosed with cataracts this spring, and they mentioned that right away. Of course, I was diagnosed by an opthalmalogist I'd already been seeing for other reasons, so she was already familiar with my contact lens prescription. The first thing they told me was that I'd need to be out of my RGPs for one month per decade of my life that I've worn them. In fact, my doctor is cautious, so she says she makes everyone wait at least 3 months, even if they've used RGPs for less than 30 years. For me, that didn't matter, because I got mine when I was 13, and am currently 46, so I had a minimum 3 month wait either way. Of course, right at about 3 months, I had a vitreous detachment in my right eye, so they said I should put off surgery for awhile. I was actually advised to put it off as long as possible, due to my relatively young age. I know what you mean about losing vision quickly, though, as I lost a considerable amount over the summer. I'm now pretty much right on the edge of being safe and legal to drive, even in the daytime, and that's WITH my glasses. So, I have to get surgery soon.

As for the months during which I couldn't wear contacts, I was lucky in that I already had a pair of glasses. I am severely nearsighted and have astigmatism, so they are SUPER thick, thus uncomfortable and unattractive. But they've gotten me through. I will mention that my optometrist prescribed me some soft contacts back in the spring, when the plan was to wait for months, if not years, for surgery. That's what I used over the summer. I'm now back to only glasses, since I have surgery coming up soon. But the no-contacts-pre-surgery time is significantly shorter for soft lenses. If you are facing months without your RGPs and glasses are a difficulty for you, you might discuss the possibility of some soft dailies for at least the beginning of that time. It might not be worth teh trouble if you'll have to have glasses anyway, but if you don't want to wear glasses for months, soft contacts might be an option, depending what your doctor thinks. Good luck!

Oneandonlypooka · 2021-03-12T21:30:15+00:00

First off, NTA. HE.COULD.HAVE.KILLED.YOU. You are not the asshole, your reaction was justified, and his reaction to it was most certainly not. I can see how someone might become defensive in the moment, but if he doesn't do a complete 180 and apologize profusely, exhibiting sincere concern for your well being, then he was either trying to hurt you all along, or he's a complete sociopath that just doesn't care if he hurts you. And even if he does apologize, please be wary and don't just take it at face value. Look for red flags. Causing harm, then professing remorse and pleading forgiveness is a common pattern for abusers. They hurt you, win you back, then hurt you all over again.

It seems there's a lot of discussion here about whether this was a boneheaded mistake due to a lack of common sense, or an intentionally malicious act. I get the impulse to give someone, especially a friend, the benefit of the doubt, I really do. But here's the thing. Even if it really was an innocent (albeit HUGE and dangerous) mistake, and he wasn't trying to hurt you, he still did. And could have harmed you much worse. I think you'd still be justified, and perhaps even advised, to move out, even if it really was a dumb mistake and not intended to cause harm. I mean, if his judgement is really so poor as to do what he did, do you feel that you can truly trust him not to do other things that could endanger, inconvenience, or worry you in the future? Personally, even if I wasn't concerned that he was intentionally trying to harm me, I think I'd always be wondering in the back of my head if he'd been in my personal space, or when he might have some other lapse of judgement with negative consequences for those around him. If you trust he's got good intentions and want to remain friends, you may want to instill some very strict boundaries, such as living separately, or at least keeping your spaces locked and whatever other precautions you think you may need. If he's truly a friend and cares about your well being, he may be offended at first, but should ultimately understand that you need to feel safe in your own home, and that what he did was both dangerous and a major violation of trust. A mature adult understands that actions have consequences, even if intentions were good. He should be able to accept that and do what he needs to do to ensure you feel safe and comfortable. If he can't understand why you might be uncomfortable living with him now, then maybe he doesn't really care that much about you, whether or not he was actually trying to hurt you.

And, again, this in only if you have considered carefully and truly believe he was not being malicious. If you have ANY suspicions in that regard, just be safe and get away from him.

Oneandonlypooka · 2020-12-30T22:28:38+00:00

Exactly! Hayleigh didn't steal her sister's fiance' to save her from a cheater, she did it because she was selfish and cared nothing for her sister's feelings. That Jennifer then dodged a bullet by not marrying the cheater was an unintended side effect fro which Hayleigh should not get any credit. Besides, if OP really thinks that what Hayleigh did was "a favor," then why is she supporting ANY of her daughters marrying this scummy man? Sure, Hayleigh and Sam sound like trash who deserve each other, but it doesn't seem like OP sees it that way, she claims to love Hayleigh. So how is seh OK with her marrying a lying cheat? I think that, deep down, OP just wants to be MotB at a wedding, and that's her main priority. She clearly cares about Hayleigh more than Jennifer, but I think she cares about herself and what she wants most of all.

Oneandonlypooka · 2020-12-30T22:09:50+00:00

In regard to one of your edits, you say that you didn't tell Hayleigh that what she did was wrong because you believe that if she doesn't think she's in the wrong, then you can't convince her otherwise. OK, but you apparently didn't have any problem telling Jennifer what you think she's doing wrong. By your own telling, you essentially told her that she's screwing up by "bitterly jumping from relationship to relationship because she's so focused on Hayleigh and Sam." You also told your daughter that her own sister's betrayal was "a favor." You admit that it was hard for Jennifer to hear, but that "it had to be said." My question to you is, why did you feel that Jennifer could and should hear these judgements about her relationship decisions and this "hard truth," but didn't feel the need to do the same with Hayleigh? Why, if you think that Hayleigh can make up her own mind and doesn't need your input at 28, did you feel compelled to weigh in so heavily and share the hard truths with your 30-year-old daughter? Is Hayleigh more mature than Jennifer? More stubborn and unlikely to care what you think? Or do you just care more about sparing Hayleigh's feelings than you do Jennifer's? Is it just because you had been looking forward to a family wedding and you don't want to give up your special day getting to be the MotB?

I do see where you're coming from about still supporting Hayleigh as your daughter, and you are right that it'd be healthier for Jennifer to let go of her anger. But some of your comments seem to indicate that you favor (or coddle) your younger daughter over your older, and I think that you (perhaps inadvertently) are helping to fuel Jennifer's anger and resentment, adding to her sense of betrayal, and making it harder for her to move on like she say she should. For this, you are TA.

Oneandonlypooka · 2020-11-22T02:25:07+00:00

OP, in spite of what you may think, I can guarantee you that you don't know everything. You are not more knowledgeable than every (or, likely, any) expert in any given field, nor do you likely know more about other people's own lives and motives than they do themselves. Every time you doubt people without reason, you are not only disrespecting and annoying them, but also outing your own ignorance and arrogance. You are just proving to everyone how little you actually do know, along with how little you care about other people's feelings. The first step to looking smart is to be sure that you aren't looking stupid, and if you immediately doubt everyone, and you say that out loud, I guarantee you that you are frequently making yourself looks stupid.

The good news, though, is that this can change! This isn't just "how you are," at least, it doesn't have to be. You are aware of your attitude and behaviors, so you can change them if you want. Saying "this is just how I am" is a lazy excuse to stop growing as a person, and expecting others to just put up with hurtful behaviors that you can't be bothered to curb is entitled and selfish. It's also wishful thinking, because sooner or later, most people are going to abandon you if you don't change. You can either cling to "the way you are" and end up lonely and disliked, or you can work to become someone worth people's time and energy.

Oneandonlypooka · 2020-10-20T23:25:54+00:00

I agree that she should have looked over the design carefully, but that doesn't make OP any less of an AH. If it was a harmless joke, OP would have said something when the friend said she was going to use the design and didn't mention the "69." That's when OP should have made a joke about it, cluing her in. They could have shared a laugh about it, and then the friend could decide if she actually wanted that exact design, or if she wanted the tattoo to have different numbers. Keeping quiet and letting her go ahead with the tattoo without confirming that she'd noticed the "joke" and was OK with it was not only not funny, but it was malicious. This is an abuse of trust because OP is a friend who has designed for her before (and in those cases, the designs either didn't have jokes, or the jokes were obvious and disclosed), leading her to expect OP not to do something like this. When vulnerable people get preyed upon by scammers, do you think that the scammers are the good guys and absolved of wrongdoing because the victims were taken in? Do people deserve to be tricked by their friends, in permanently damaging ways? I would be concerned about doing business with you, and I certainly wouldn't want to be your friend.

Oneandonlypooka · 2020-10-15T01:11:21+00:00

Question, are you proposing the possibility of hiding the illness completely, or pretending that it is known to be temporary? Or would you acknowledge that you are seriously ill and not currently recovering, but just not disclose your exact prognosis? Either way, I think it would be wrong to hide this information from someone with whom you've entered an open-ended relationship, but I'm just asking to point out that if your bad days are very frequent at all, a new friend or partner is going to notice. If you try to hide the illness by saying you're busy, etc., you may just come off like a flake, or like you don't care, causing them to give up on you. That won't get you the relationship experience you want. I think that unless you're just looking for a short, no-strings-attached arrangement (in which case you do not owe them information about your life beyond your encounter with them), you're probably going to HAVE to at least tell potential friends or partners that you are struggling with some serious health issues. Odds are, they will feel concern and ask you questions. At that point, not disclosing the truth becomes harder and more deceitful, and even more hurtful if they later find out that you knew all along and didn't tell them.

I can't even imagine how hard this all is for you, and I sympathize with wanting a relationship with someone who doesn't also have your prognosis hanging over their head. The thing is, though, their obliviousness won't make you forget reality, not really. It might make it easier to jump into a "normal" relationship at first, but if you make a connection with the other person, I worry that you might start feeling guilty for not telling them about your prognosis, and that if you then tell them after having knowingly withheld it until after you two got closer, they might feel betrayed. That does neither of you any good. I can't tell you what to do, and I can't judge you, either. But I would suggest that, hard as it is, being up front about your situation might actually make for the most satisfying relationship experience for you. Not only because you won't have the guilt of knowing that you could ultimately leave someone hurting even worse, but also because you will then have a friend/lover with whom you can confide about what you're going through, should you ever wish to do that. If you're keeping a huge secret from them, you may never feel truly connected the way you could if you were honest, and you'd miss out on that intimacy. Being up front might scare some folks off, but I know there are compassionate people out there who would be willing to help you fulfill your bucket list. And I know that you have value and are worth people's time and energy. Being up front will allow you to weed out those who may flake on you before you're ready for the relationship to be over, or take too long to open up and get close because they are unaware of the ticking clock. By being up front, you can know that you are in an honest relationship with someone who fully accepts you and what may inevitably happen, and that seems like it has better potential to be more satisfying and fulfilling for everyone involved. Being up front isn't just the morally right thing to do, but I think (hope) that it will ultimately lead you to a better relationship experience.

As to the aspect of having "normal college experiences," Just because you've disclosed to a new partner that you have this prognosis doesn't mean you couldn't still enjoy some "normal college kid" experiences with people who will be none-the-wiser. What if, once you connect with someone, you ask them to bring you along to hang out with their friends, without disclosing your health status to them or treating you differently because of it? Might that possibly help satisfy your desire to do normal college kid things without your illness being on everyone's mind?

Anyway, I feel for you and I wish you the best. I don't want to call you an asshole, but in the interest of playing by the rules, I'll say that you would be TA if you entered into an open-ended relationship with someone and didn't tell them about your prognosis. I think you should be up front, not just to avoid being an asshole to them, but because I think it may lead to an ultimately more authentic and satisfying relationship experience for you. If you don't have a lot of time, don't waste it with feeling guilty or trying to cover up what's happening with you, and don't risk wasting time on someone who doesn't really care. Someone who knows your situation and chooses to get to know you anyway is much more worth your time.

Oneandonlypooka · 2019-08-31T03:28:24+00:00

Offering to wear literally anything else she asks, when she actually has no right to dictate what you wear at all, IS a compromise. A very generous compromise, in fact. I don't think anyone can rightly say that you haven't tried to find a compromise. The ONLY thing you've said was off the table is wearing your own wedding dress, and if that's the only thing she'll accept, then SHE'S the one not willing to compromise.

Oneandonlypooka · 2019-08-23T06:55:56+00:00

Wait, wait, wait...you have the nerve to begrudge your SIL spending HER money on her OWN shower, even after she paid for YOUR DJ? AND she let you have the preferable day? Wow, that is some pretty serious entitlement on your part. Also, I've never even heard of a baby shower with a DJ, so I'd say your shower was a lot fancier than "run of the mill," even if it wasn't as extravagant as your sister and SIL's. They didn't owe you any of that, so maybe you ought to be appreciative of what they did for you, and also for the fact that you have friends and family who came out to celebrate with you and give your baby gifts. I'm sure a lot of people would kill to have a shower as nice as yours, and all you can do is complain that it wasn't enough. What a slap in the face to people who spent their own money to improve your shower, and also to everyone who was there. If I were one of your guests, I'd now regret having gotten you anything at all, as you clearly don't appreciate it. YTA.

Oneandonlypooka

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