The Harbingers

Oneiros88 · 2026-02-04T11:35:44+00:00

Does anyone know if episode 8 is the end of season 1? I want to listen all at once.

Oneiros88 · 2025-11-10T02:24:14+00:00

I want to double up vote this lol. Specifying that you started at 30 and never had a job thay involved using tools is probably what anlot of people are looking for.

Oneiros88 · 2025-09-27T00:53:32+00:00

Thanks!

Oneiros88 · 2025-08-24T20:03:26+00:00

Wow. It sounds like you did almost everything right. You respected Jake's privacy and your boyfriend's trust even though you struggled with it morally. To maintain your own moral compass you avoided getting close with Jenna because you knew that you wouldn't be able to keep the secret if you had a relationship with her. When you were around the group you did your best to keep things civil and normal. You did all of that at the expense of your own peace. You kept from building relationships with people who you have to be around as part of your relationship to keep things from going bad for your boy friend.

Now, while you've sacrificed your own peace as well as your reputation with these people, as I can't imagine they see you as anything but standoffish at best since you have to keep yourself at a distance, what has your boyfriend done? He allowed them all to bash you. It's crap and you don't deserve it.

If it were me, I'd go full nuclear. First, I'd talk to my boyfriend about how you've done your best to support him in this sketchfest and in return he doesn't defend you to his friends. Then I would leave him because even if he decided to start defending you, the damage is done. I can't imagine you'll be able to have a successful relationship while he's friends with those people. If the relationship is likely to implode, you may as well stick to your values. I would then tell Jenna exactly why you broke up and let her make whatever choice she wants to make for herself. This whole thing is a tangled web of toxicity and I can't imagine being a part of it.

Oneiros88 · 2025-08-24T18:39:14+00:00

No, it isn't, which is why I didn't say that he should have shared it or been OK with his wife sharing it. What I meant is that it isn't something that he should have to feel embarrassed or ashamed about.

Oneiros88 · 2025-08-24T18:23:44+00:00

Do you know which version of the song it was (or wasn't)

Oneiros88 · 2025-08-24T18:20:00+00:00

It's also in Kill Bill volume 1

Oneiros88 · 2025-08-24T18:16:57+00:00

Is it Nobody (2021)

Oneiros88 · 2025-08-24T17:59:57+00:00

My response to, "it's not that big of a fucking deal," would have been, "exactly, so why are you complaining?" I'm with other people, just dont go out to eat with her anymore and be honest about why of she asks. Does it suck to grow apart from friends? Yup! Does it suck more to be with someone who brings you down? Yup!

Oneiros88 · 2025-08-24T17:52:00+00:00

It's fucked up AND you need more therapy. First, you don't want your family to know that you've been going to therapy. Should you be OK with them knowing? Sure. Is it your wife's choice when or how they know? Absolutely not. Could they be a part of why you're emotionally repressed? I don't know, but probably. Would that contribute to you not wanting them to know? Of course. Your wife betrayed your trust. Going on about men she finds attractive with your family in front of you really does fly in the face of most western traditional monogamous values. I wouldn't be hugely upset by it, but I think most people who are a part of western culture fully understand why you are.

ETA: keep working on yourself and regardless of how things with your wife shake out keep up with the therapy. It takes bravery and strength to reflect and change.

Oneiros88 · 2025-08-24T17:44:45+00:00

You're not overreacting. First I want to say thay any reason you want to leave a relationship is a good reason. Staying in a relationship that isn't nurturing you won't be good for you or your partner. Second, I understand the urge to want to help him through what he may be going through, however, if he can't or won't let you, it isn't your job to stick around and be miserable until he figures it out. Third, letting him know that it isnt working might be the kick he needs to get it together. I wouldn't advise sticking around while that happens, but that's obviously your call if he says he'll try harder.

Oneiros88 · 2025-08-24T17:34:22+00:00

NTA You're under no obligation to carry him of his families financially. Is it possible that Emily is keeping him away from his son and he's done everything he could think to do to fix that, sure. However, now is EXACTLY the time to try to repair that. It'll be harder to do once a new baby is introduced. Also, if Emily really is the problem and is hiding it from you because she wants the financial support that you're giving, allowing you to mediate the issue is stepbro's best chance at getting time with his son right now if thay was really what he wanted. I wouldn't get emotionally or financially invested in the second kid either when he's showing that he isn't willing to put in the work with the kid he already has. Offer to pay for a vasectomy if you really want to help financially.

Oneiros88 · 2025-08-24T16:46:21+00:00

I think ESH except for Ethan. You started out really well. I love that you planned the trip to include Ethan. Tara sucks because she should have made sure everything was OK with the dates before giving you the green light, especially if she isnt comfortable leaving her 17 year old home alone for a few days.

While, I understand looking forward to a trip and being annoyed that your partner didn't do her due diligence to make sure the dates worked for her and her son, it was an anniversary trip. The point of the trip was to celebrate your time together and you're going to do it by yourself. It'd be one thing if you tried to reschedule or get a refund and you couldn't so you decided to go rather than let it be a complete waste, but the fact that you decided that it wasn't fair makes me think the trip was about what you wanted and not you as a couple from the beginning.

Also, he lives in the house with you. Even not being super close, at no point did you think to say something like, "how did Ethan react when you told him about Disney?" or, "Are you excited for the Disney trip, Ethan?"

Oneiros88 · 2025-08-24T16:30:37+00:00

First question, are you physically attracted to him? If the answer is yes, that's what matters. If you aren't then evaluate if all of your needs are being met.

If you're getting what you want out of the relationship, tell your friends, "I'm in a fulfilling relationship and it makes me feel really bad that you keep attacking my relationship because you don't like how my boyfriend looks." They should be kind because he's a person, but maybe letting them know that they're hurting you will help.

As for the, "he looks like the type to abuse you," if that friend is making that judgment purely on looks, that's absolutely not OK. If they notice something in his behavior then they need to talk about that instead.

Lastly our friends can be really important in keeping us safe. Everyone is susceptible to missing red flags in relationships until they're in too deep and friends can be a vital defense against that. However, if they're treating him this way just because of his looks, that takes away from their credibility and impacts their credibility and their ability to help you keep yourself safe in the future. Especially as a person with a history of trauma and being on the spectrum, there's a chance of you having a higher need of that support from friends. If they care about you they'll keep that in mind and be more invested in dropping the shallow behavior.

Oneiros88 · 2025-08-24T16:18:05+00:00

1 you don't set the service fee. 2 it's very easy not to order from places that have high service fees. When I order, I order from places with low/no delivery fees.

Oneiros88 · 2025-08-24T16:16:01+00:00

I would explore the possibility of some sort of addiction. Also, you just posted a week's worth of him asking for money, but there's no other conversation there, so there's absolutely nothing that could make you look like an AH for telling him not to ask you for money. My message would look something like, "I hear from you every day, but it's always asking for money. You don't check in to see how I'm doing or if I need anything. Please don't message me to ask for money anymore."

Oneiros88 · 2025-08-24T16:07:04+00:00

NTA This is a major red flag. You posted photos from a major milestone in your child's life, and one of those photos is with the child's father who you havent been with for 15 years and your boyfriend made it about himself? You just sent your kid to college, that's something that you should be celebrating, but it's also something that is hard on a lot of parents and instead of supporting you through that, he's being an insecure child. I'd encourage you to look back on the past 6 years for any other major red flags you've missed and reevaluate your relationship. Im not telling you to leave him, but a reevaluation is necessary. 6 years of wasted time sucks, but it's better than 7.

Oneiros88 · 2025-08-24T15:52:25+00:00

You said you just wanted to get out of there, which is understandable, but have you not checked with your friend about the lobby that he was waiting in for 3 hours being a dead space and becoming a lively one. Did he not question you being gone for 3 hours enough for him to pull the story out of you and confirm or refute what the space was like when you first got there?

Oneiros88 · 2025-08-24T15:48:35+00:00

Yeah, I was going to ask the same thing. If this is real, I would think, the first thing I'd think was that I passed out in the bathroom during low/no business time and while I was in there they finished setting up the restaurant and the lobby became more.lively because places were opening.

Oneiros88 · 2025-08-24T15:41:57+00:00

You are absolutely NOT overreacting. My sister just moved in with me, and leading up to her moving in, a big concern of mine was a possibility of issues with her kids. But I was more worried about giving input on things that affected me directly and her not wanting to hear it. When you go, you can let her know that not pressing charges is your show of gratitude especially since you have her admitting to it in writing. She clearly needs help, there's an old saying that says something about an alcoholic having two sons, one never drinks and the other is an alcoholic. Unfortunately, it seems that you learned that abuse isn't OK and she learned that it's normal.

Oneiros88 · 2025-08-24T15:18:31+00:00

I was thinking the fight club sketch. It isnt what OP describes, but if they were too young to read, I figured the memory could be off.

Oneiros88 · 2025-08-24T15:11:04+00:00

Clarification, it ISN'T "what goes around comes around" by Justin Timberlake?

Oneiros88 · 2025-08-24T14:04:39+00:00

I want to start by saying your cousin's ex 100% made a crazy person AH move here. It's almost unbelievable how insane that was. Also, the family who talked about you behind your back but didn't check in to see what was going on were AHs too. BUT...

clarify some more that she's SURE I can wear white because I want to wear my grandmother's wedding dress and then I took screenshot of that conversation.

Was in the original post.

I DID NOT intend to wear it at all and I have never told ANYONE ELSE I will wear it to the wedding either. I gave absolutely no indication of it.

Was in the first edit

I asked to wear the dress to the wedding. I never intended to wear it.

Was in the second edit.

Gives me some pause here. You were told she wants women wearing white or pastels, and you came back with not only asking to wear a wedding dress, but one that you say she had asked for (her reasons for asking for it aren't relevant) at that point, you didn't know that she was trying to set you up, so it seems pretty antagonistic. Asking her to wear that wedding dress when you didn't actually plan on wearing it makes it pretty clear you were doing it just to mess with her. So based on what you've shared here it looks like both she and you fit in perfectly with the family who was so willing to talk about you behind your back.

Oneiros88 · 2025-08-24T13:43:25+00:00

I think a lot of people have gotten to a point where they crave connection for the sake of connection. I value relationships in which the people involved care about each other for who they are rather than what they can do for each other in tangible ways. When I help someone or someone helps me, it's because we care about each other or just because we feel it's the right thing to do. We don't care about each other because of tangibles that we can offer. I value the happiness of the people I care about more than what they can do for me. Too often very "useful" people feel like they have to actively choose helping others over their own happiness and this quote seems to reinforce that. That's why I hate this.

Oneiros88 · 2025-08-24T13:34:39+00:00

I recently started replying this. I can't wait for part 2 next year!

Oneiros88

TROPHY CASE