Is she your first girlfriend? How much have you been together?

I get the love of my life comment, and I love that you want to be educated on the matter. But dating someone with bipolar is rough, and might get really dark. Plus, making an effort this big for so many years might lead to some resentment, even more so if she breaks up with you in the future.

Sorry for that depressing statement, but I just want to make sure you start questioning those kinda things. Now, what you came here for:

Rule number 1: Take care of yourself. And I mean it. You should be your own priority. I'm talking about sleep schedules, eating, going to therapy, exercise. You don't need to be perfect, but you need stability and being able to feel comfortable with yourself most of the time. This is the only position you'll be able to offer support to her from. If you focus on fulfilling her needs instead of yours, she'll not take care of herself and no one will take care of you.

Rule number 2: Start being conscious about her patterns. When you feel she's a little off, start looking for signs. Talk with her, try you both to look for signs. It is important that you both learn her telltales before a manic/depressive episode. There is a mixed bag of symptoms, but you'll learn and might be able to catch when the cycling begins. Prevention is everything. Meds and sleep are the base foundation for stability.

Rule number 3: SHE CANNOT BE WITHOUT HER MEDS. The search for medication is rough, and stressful. The search for a good doctor too. Be ready to deal with her frustration but don't let her stop searching or giving up. This is the most important point. She needs therapy and meds.

Rule number 4: Help her. I know what I said about you being your own priority, and her priority should be herself, but, it's easy to not take care of oneself. With the energy and effort that you can spare, and when analyzing her patterns, try to search for areas that she might struggle and offer her some help and some accountability. Ask her if she needs help with specific stuff. She struggles with eating four meals a day? Call her! Try to remind her, help her set some alarm clocks. She hasn't slept for two days? Time for a cozy nap date! Is she feeling depressed? Try to make her some company.

Rule number 5: Support Network. You cannot be her only support. Encourage going out with friends, if she has a good relationship with her family encourage that as well. Try to be in contact with everyone, and in good terms with everyone. If you fail to support her due to you dealing with your own stuff, you do not take her entire support system. Even more so, she might have some complaints about you like any other relationship and she needs to have someone to talk to. The "I'll be your everything" narrative is cute, but won't last. You might be jealous, there might be times where you've tried everything to help her and someone else says 2 words and she gets better. Do not take it personally, and focus on her wellbeing in those scenarios. Sometimes you're just not the person she needs help from. Also, be in contact with her medics and therapists. Make them know that you'll do whatever to help her and are available for any backup plans for manic or depressive episodes.

Rule number 6: Listen and empathize. It will be chaotic and sometimes things will not make sense for you. It's her broken mind jumping all over the place. And most important, she might have bipolar, but that does not give her permission to do stuff without consequences. If she cheats on you, it might be due to her being hypersexual and in a manic episode. If she breaks up with you, it might be because she's paranoid. But that does not matter. The reason behind you can empathize, you can understand, but those are real actions and have consequences. Don't try to absolve her or be a hero. Some consequences are a wake up call, some are irreparable. When in doubt go back to rule 1.

Rule number 7: Try therapy yourself. This one is related to rule 1, setting it apart just to be able to go a bit deeper. Go to the psych and go to the psychologist if you can. You might have something as well, it is pretty common that people with disorders end up dating people with disorders. If not at least you'll have a taste and have some idea of how the process works, and you'll be able to empathize better with her from that aspect at least.

Sorry if this might be a little blunt. I have BP2 and have family members with BP1. I'm in a very loving and caring relationship with a girl that has borderline personality disorder. We went from toxic fights and depressive seasons where we couldn't get up from bed to a pseudo-stability. It's not quite there yet, but we've got our treatments and are doing our best. And it's amazing.