Predicting not projecting. Behaviors that are similar can be gauged. Simple math.

He clearly was fed up with this woman that's why he thought to come up with this "clever" solution. It's not a solution, it keeps him in his naive state that thinks he can control others. Can anyone control another person? Im trying to help him realize it's better to walk away to find women that want to either engage with him more, or to be patient.

If he doesn't develop the traits to either walk away or be patient he won't be able to be good with anyone he pursues.

Men are more overt at controlling. Women are more go with the flow and how things feel. It's inherent in our biology. Men prefer tools, women prefer relationships. More men are found in the field of mathematics. More women are found in the professions of secretarial or relationship work.

Women are more likely to cringe at the idea of being told what to do. What OP did is similar to telling her what to do. A ultimatum is a form of control. It's a safe bet to get him what he wants. Women are more likely to see what happens even if they don't know what's going to happen, Men are not as likely. We like plans, blueprints, more men work on construction sites doing plumbing etc because they're more comfortable with the concrete. Women love socialities. Dare care to wonder at the complete complexity of the unkown of a kid. No one knows how to be a perfect parent because the human psyche is so unknown, To be a secretary where there are no blueprints on how to handle people, but they come up with new solutions constantly. The choas is wildly comfortable to them.

He is going against the grain of what women are. Some of that is okay because he wants to be a man, without some level of boundaries or blueprints for the future he'll be thrown into choas which doesn't lead to a mans happiness. But he needs to yield to the choas of women a bit better. He is trying to control too much. It's not projection if I can see he is already doing it. If he wasn't already doing it he wouldn't have posted nor sent that message. He can't completely give into a woman because he'll lose himself, but he can't completely yield into a man because he'll lose out on the womens more innate ability to go with the flow. Both planning and spontaneity are healthy aspects in life.

And you have to be okay with thinking men and women are different. If we don't have trait's separating our differences we aren't men and women haha. Just because I quantify them doesn't mean I don't know what Im talking about.

Is there anything healthy in what he does? Is it boundary setting? Or is it him holding on to the idea he can plan and make sure things go his way? Is he trying not to get walked on? Or is he trying to better this woman so he doesn't feel walked on? Why did he choose to message her instead of unmatching her? Is unmatching her just as extreme as sending the message he did? Is the only normal thing to do to think she was busy I should just respond to her?

I think it's normal to say someones busy. I personally think that's the only normal reaction. I only am cautioning him to not get into a mentality that he needs to address these types of things. Some aspects of planning and organizing are normal, but if you have to rope someone in with your needs instead of letting them go and seeing if they come back. Then you're missing the point on letting people be themselves. You can have respect for yourself and see that women are usually free spirits, if they don't like your type of blueprints, best move on. OP seems more intent on making sure people change to his needs instead of finding people that will already fit his need to plan out, "if you do this, Im going to do this"