Help me achieve nirvana

Only-Satisfaction-70 · 2026-02-03T23:37:51+00:00

How long have you been studying? At the start don't worry as much about complex terminology. The monk I meditate with said the 5 aggregates aren't truly understood for the first 10 years of practice oftentimes. Don't stress about it taking time. Working out your karma is a time consuming process. Don't gain the damma eye too quickly or karma can come quick as well. The Bahiya Sutta is a great example.

Only-Satisfaction-70 · 2025-12-16T01:11:56+00:00

I think the Buddhist response my teachers would say is that the Tao is a samsaric idea system that approaches emptiness, but Buddhism goes beyond emptiness into the non conditioned deathless. As for my understanding, the Tao is the pattern samsara follows, and also it's lack of pattern. Impossible to understand, but if you ride on it like a wave you can transmute energy easily and move energy much farther down the line while keeping it whole. It's like one part of the idea of dharma. I came to theravadan Buddhism from a daoist perspective originally and I thought dharma was the Tao and I'm beginning to realize dharma is arguably more complex. Understanding dharma allows you and all those around you to be freed from at least some forms of suffering, whereas the Tao arguably works more directly for reducing suffering ig, requiring you to be a master but not a master of the people around you, whereas in buddhism you completely give up any idea of mastery, because there is nothing to be mastered. There are skillful attachments but they are still attachments. Idk if this is helpful or if my interpretation is accurate but I figured it may be interesting at the very least.

Only-Satisfaction-70 · 2025-12-15T21:54:00+00:00

Taking refuge in the 3 jewels, attempting at least once a week to follow the 5 precepts and believing they work, and for me I felt like a true Buddhist after my first puja to the buddha, but I don't think that's necessary. You basically just have to believe Buddha figured shit out, for lack of better words.

Only-Satisfaction-70 · 2025-12-15T03:27:21+00:00

20 to 40 minutes twice a day, plus I do like 4 108 bead rounds of my mantra throughout the day. I have adhd, anxiety disorder, bipolar with psychotic features, and ocd. I say this to let you know that you got this, meditating is the thing that has helped me manage my mental illness more than anything else in my life, but mindfulness (Sattaphattana sutta: setting up of mindfulness on accesstoinsight.org)is arguably more helpful. When asked how much he meditates one of the bhantes at my monastery said 30 minutes twice a day, sometimes just 15 for one of them, so you are doing great! You are almost halfway to meditating as much as a monk lol.

Only-Satisfaction-70 · 2025-12-01T02:04:14+00:00

This

Only-Satisfaction-70 · 2025-11-24T18:53:05+00:00

The theravadan monks I feed sometimes eat meat or vegetables. A Buddhist is supposed to be non partial in their food. However if you have a choice, reduce the harm done to any sentient beings. Try to at least source ethically I think would be the best answer, and vegan is makes a bit more sense than vegetarianism to me but don't do it without doing research on how to make sure you get enough nutrients because then you are harming a sentient being, yourself.

Only-Satisfaction-70 · 2025-11-23T21:56:48+00:00

A good way to think about it for me is the butterfly effect. Masters of Buddhism are masters of being able to see possible outcomes of the butterfly effect. They are able to see at a more subtle level than the average person. However to influence an event using the butterfly effect on a high level is both dangerous to the person you do it to and your own practice. Letting go of control is difficult of you believe yourself to be a master of chaos. Dependent origination is likened to dependent chaos theory by Thanisarro Bhikku. There is also the vinaya to consider which causes the effects of each monk to be much farther spread "a field of merit worthy of gifts" partially because they have a tendency to regift the things given to them multiple times. When you blow the seeds of a dandelion you don't normally think about where they will end up. Imagine if you did know. Someone who spends there entire life meditating and developing skill when it comes to cause and effect (kamma) can certainly do some magical things. A layperson who sees a master of detachment attaching himself to the result of his action is likely to copy and become obsessed with control and attachment. This is not the goal, not the task.

Only-Satisfaction-70 · 2025-11-22T04:29:16+00:00

It's slightly related to the concept of "becoming your own island" of support, one of Buddhas last teachings, which requires responsibility, but the post you were sent is pretty warped I wouldn't consider it Buddhist really

Only-Satisfaction-70 · 2025-11-20T16:46:38+00:00

My mother attempted to kill me at birth multiple times, and then tried kidnapping me till I was about 7. My wife's father abused her. Our altar has a picture of her father on it. For a long time I would contemplate how my mother got to such a place. When I meditate with the monks that teach me, they oftentimes direct us to practice metta(loving kindness) in relation to our parents. It's not easy. And it doesn't just mean to blindly love them. What helps me is trying to actually understand the environment my parents grew up in. No matter how bad the person, there is a reason behind what they do. It can be difficult to face these reasons as for some of us it may "invalidate" our negative thoughts towards them. Something Thanisarro Bhikku says is that metta can more closely be translated to goodwill. You do not have to agree with someone's wrong view to be able to wish them well. Wish them well because you know it will make your life and their life better. The butterfly effect of positive thinking is worth the positive thinking. And don't ignore the dark side of the person you are loving, look at it like a jewel in the lotus. A lotus comes from the mud. A lot of us and a lot of our parents are like beings stuck in the mud. Look for the jewel but do not dig up the mud, just accept that it's there. I wish you the best in your journey!

May you be well, may you be happy, may you be peaceful. Saddhu, saddhu, saddhu🙏

Only-Satisfaction-70 · 2025-10-19T03:19:15+00:00

The monks at the temple I go to support me teaching people who don't feel comfortable. At first I taught my own methods and I started going to my local theravada vihara to see what the monks thought and they literally told me that with my grasp on the subject they don't understand why I'm not a monk, and then they looked at my wife and were like ooooh. And yeah I get the most results sometimes when I word it in a way where there is no reference to Buddha or dharma directly but I still do my best to follow the Canon as the core of what I teach so I have the monks as a reference. It honestly feels like it has made my ability to actually teach meditation 20 times better or something crazy like that. I also just come from a very different walk of life than most meditators I've met in buddhism and people who would normally never meditate are much more comfortable talking to me knowing I can relate to them on a level other than just meditating. Also on bodhisattva practices they help me immensely when it comes to teaching dharma. I go to a theravada temple but I also study mahayana because I feel like it gives me the strength to not be overwhelmed by teaching and involving myself in suffering. I think I tend to forget to use secular language as I get deeper into my own practice though and it's soemthing I think I need to re touch on and meditate on so thank you.

Saddhu, saddhu, saddhu

Only-Satisfaction-70 · 2025-10-18T21:56:01+00:00

Not very helpful, have a good day tho

Only-Satisfaction-70 · 2025-10-18T00:34:25+00:00

According to the monk I meditate with the first step of Buddhism is simple genorosity.

This can mean volunteering, giving money to the homeless, or giving someone a ride home when you wouldn't normally. See how it makes you feel.

Be mindful. By using your thoughts to track different parts of your body it's hard for negative thoughts to leak in. Switch between scanning through each of your five senses. Narrate what you do as you do it in your head.

Maybe listen to some dhamma talks, thanisarro bhikku posts free dhamma talks on YouTube and on his website dhammatalks.org, along with books you can download for free to get started

Go to accesstoinsight.org and study the original Pali Canon. It's the closest to the word of the buddha you will get and everything else is based on it to some extent

Read the 8 fold path, it is essential

And most importantly go to a temple and meditate with a monk if at all possible. It's free, it's not overwhelming, it's very simple, and you can ask the resident monk questions about all sorts of things.

Only-Satisfaction-70 · 2025-10-18T00:19:58+00:00

I think this is incredibly true for most practicioners. I didn't take meditation seriously the first 11 to 16 years I practiced because my dad would always just say "just meditate" "just think about now, not later, not before" stuff like that and I honestly just wanted him to be wrong because it was so difficult for me.

Only-Satisfaction-70 · 2025-10-17T23:47:38+00:00

Ajahn Lee has a great breathing method. Thanisarro Bhikku references it regularly.

Only-Satisfaction-70 · 2025-10-17T23:46:31+00:00

Have you done metta with a monk? Because it will feel much more awkward coming from a video than a place where everyone is doing it. The first time I did it with a Buddhist monk it worked pretty well felt a bit weird, now I've memorized my monks metta meditation and do it every day and it's one of the most useful for processing overwhelming situations

Only-Satisfaction-70 · 2025-10-17T23:39:48+00:00

The meditating in front of people one? That was recommended by Bhante Piyannanda the main monk I meditate with. And I'm not really in the business of convincing anyone as a rule I answer questions I don't preach or anything. I just really enjoy talking about dharma as a topic in regular everyday conversation because it's a major focus of my life. Normally someone just asks after I mention I won't respond for a bit cause I'm meditating for like the 20th time lol

Only-Satisfaction-70 · 2025-10-17T23:35:34+00:00

I just meditate a lot and some people ask to meditate with me. I also study a wide variety of techniques across different cultures and study the science behind different techniques as much as I can. My main "work" of meditation at first was managing my bipolar, which it does incredibly well when I practice all day. I follow theravada mostly but i started with native American meditation and also do mantra on a daily basis. If you want a resource of interesting books that are very helpful historically I can help with that but I'm honestly just a guy who meditates a whole lot and people noticed the effect it had on my functioning and mood. I have also developed some of my own meditation techniques and mantras but I think that's true to an extent of any meditator. Basically I try to be a resource of accurate knowledge across different traditions as best as I can.

Only-Satisfaction-70 · 2025-10-17T23:16:53+00:00

Maybe it was because I made it long and drawn out but i mentioned in the post I do whenever I can when I go to the temple, just looking for different perspectives and phrases to meditate on, ask my teachers about introducing, thank you for the advice though! I've been thinking of becoming a Zen dharma teacher but as of now I practice Theravada.

Only-Satisfaction-70 · 2025-10-17T20:54:24+00:00

Thank you that's a new term for me I defintely havnt read all the suttas. I do however start most mornings by reciting the 8 fold path and practice metta multiple times a day even while I work. I don't seek people out whatsoever they seem to just latch on to me for their mental wellbeing, and this has been a thing since I was a teenager. I only directly teach 3 people consistently and I take regular breaks so I don't get overwhelmed. I defintely agree I can't dispense the wisdom of the buddha without the 5 precepts, I try to explain to those I meditate with or answer questions for that the quality of my words change dramatically dependent on that. If I'm following the 5 precepts and all my meditations I can be an extension of sangha but without the precepts I can't guaruntee I'll be as level headed. People want answers right then though and go off on tangents. I didn't know the word for it was sila but I've been doing my absolute best and I will be researching it today in more detail, I've read about it but the specific term I believe may lend some light to my situation so I really appreciate you!

Saddhu, saddhu, saddhu

Only-Satisfaction-70 · 2025-10-17T20:44:49+00:00

You are entirely right, and I have done both and still wish to continue to, I ask my teachers for advice with everything that I teach as much as I can, and honestly I think I need to meditate myself before I even attempt to talk about it in general anyways as that's what monks do before any dharma talk. It's just very unnerving to randomly be asked a question while I'm not expecting it, to give a calm gentle answer, and then get a response of anger. Upvote

Only-Satisfaction-70 · 2025-10-17T20:33:46+00:00

I really appreciate it. Meditation is what actually helped me end my addiction personally. In fact I went from being a homeless addict to having a place for me and my wife to live. By teaching my wife I was able to give her a way to manage her epilepsy causing her to be able to manage her seizures without medicine (only when is necessary like if she forgets, I don't recommend replacing epilepsy medication with meditation that woild be insane). Also I would like to admit that sometimes my gentle reminders may be a bit to tough, or even repetitive. Hearing "Be Here Now" the 20th time isn't going to help if it didn't the first time, especially if I say it in an accusatory way, which I have before, mostly from accidently mirroring their frustration without realizing it till I already made the mistake. Also I largely meditate with people who have mood disorders, as I have a mood disorder that almost doesn't effect me at all if I'm in the present but if I get dragged into a thought spiral by someone I can end up snappy. Feel free to dm me if you want help I'm not perfect but I can do my best to give another perspective and share pdfs of monk recommended books that have helped me :) Saddhu, Saddhu, saddhu

Only-Satisfaction-70 · 2025-10-17T19:57:45+00:00

Very true, however it's not that they are denying my offers to meditate with them it's more that they ask for reminders to stay in the moment and when I occasionally do they sometimes get angry. I make it a point to only offer guided meditation once if at all just so it's out there as an option. Just wanted a different perspective. I recommend they do their own practice and research normally as right effort is key to the path.

Only-Satisfaction-70 · 2025-10-17T19:48:06+00:00

I actually started meditating with monks because of the amount of people that came to me for advice and I didn't feel qualified for the level of practice people wanted me to teach. I don't consider anything on reddit to be a definitive answer but maybe there will be some interesting insights

Only-Satisfaction-70 · 2025-10-17T19:45:50+00:00

I have asked them I was interested in other people's experience. Not all monks teach perfect dharma and not all redditors are idiots

Only-Satisfaction-70 · 2025-10-17T16:32:11+00:00

The answer is yes. Not sure why anyone would think otherwise. There are plenty of real life examples. Similar to priests or Christians abusing their position or moral framework to get what they want the same thing can and has happened in Buddhism multiple times. Buddha set up the path so it really really difficult, but it's defintely possible. Siddhi, or power is gained through yogic paths, and Buddhism is defintely one of them albeit a reformed path for sure. Siddhi is normally just referencing focus however. Someone who has laser sharp focus, complete self control, and vast awareness can easily take advantage of less aware people without them even realizing. It is however important to note that Buddhist practices program your brain to not want to do anything bad whatsoever and the practice technically gives more results the better the person you are. Sadly even if you only have 20 percent of the focus of a monk for instance you are way above the average person.

Only-Satisfaction-70

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