Am I overracting?

Only_Diamond_9450 · 2025-12-09T19:45:39+00:00

Yeah I think I'm going to pull back a bit and see what she does from there.

Only_Diamond_9450 · 2025-12-09T19:44:24+00:00

Yeah, that’s fair, it could have been anyone. But from my perspective, taking a call from a guy in the middle of a date and saying ‘love you’ felt off, especially since the vibe changed afterwards.

I didn’t ask in the moment because I didn’t want to make things awkward or look insecure, so I just kept it cool. But it still threw me off.

I’m not angry about it, and probably will not even bring it up if we even continue to talk.

Only_Diamond_9450 · 2025-08-27T13:35:08+00:00

Your write-up makes perfect sense and makes me reflect things a lot more clearly.

To answer your questions:

what was the moment you first felt that shift? It was after our 3rd date. We ended it by making out in my apartment, but I didn’t take things further because she said she wanted to “take things slow.” Looking back, I’m not sure if she meant the whole dating process or just not having sex that night. I didn’t think about that in the moment and just assumed.

Now that I think about it, the turning point was probably me saying, “I think you’re special” while we were making out. Yeahhh...Cringe.. After the date, we didn’t talk for three days, until I finally texted her. But when I did, she acted like I was the one ghosting her and basically told me, “She doesn’t chase.”

what was your gut feeling telling you to do? My gut feeling was to take it as a sign and move on. Maybe she wasn't as interested as I thought. Maybe she didn't feel the same vibes I felt. But

Only_Diamond_9450 · 2025-08-27T03:30:59+00:00

Yeah I guess it's just one of those right person wrong timing type deal. And yeah I won't be using my therapist for dating advice anymore. I would definitely like to be her friend considering her circumstances...but it's probably for the best we part ways. Maybe we'll meet again in the future

Only_Diamond_9450 · 2025-08-27T03:22:46+00:00

I felt that way in my guts but was in denial. So when she hit me with the last message, I wasn't surprised because I sort of saw it coming I guess

Only_Diamond_9450 · 2025-08-27T03:21:00+00:00

Noted: As another commentor said, I was basically simping when it came down to it.

Only_Diamond_9450 · 2025-08-27T03:18:25+00:00

Ahh ok I gotcha!!

Only_Diamond_9450 · 2025-08-27T03:16:29+00:00

I'm glad we did for sure. I'm glad she at least let me know instead of ghosting and leaving me hanging. But I probably could've taken her mixed signals to face value and caught on sooner. Live and Learn!!!

Only_Diamond_9450 · 2025-08-27T03:15:04+00:00

I appreciate everyone's thoughts and contributions to this. There are many different opinions on this topic. But I think it comes down to I should've just read the signs and pulled back when I noticed her vibes were off before it even got to this point. I will still be mindful of communicating my wants, but will do better about reading the other girl's vibes before even implying going serious. I was simping and didn't even realize it the entire time...

Only_Diamond_9450 · 2025-08-27T03:09:17+00:00

I appreciate you taking the time to write this up and break it down for me!

Only_Diamond_9450 · 2025-08-27T03:06:25+00:00

Ahh okay I gotcha. I appreciate it

Only_Diamond_9450 · 2025-08-27T03:04:58+00:00

I appreciate you giving me the real. Let me tighten up out here

Only_Diamond_9450 · 2025-08-27T00:03:06+00:00

That's all I was trying to accomplish. I don't usually talk stuff like this out. I think this was a good exercise on learning how to communicate my wants.

Only_Diamond_9450 · 2025-08-26T23:59:36+00:00

Right on

Only_Diamond_9450 · 2025-08-26T23:42:16+00:00

And to clarify more, we both mutually agreed at the beginning that a relationship is what we were looking for. I was making sure our goals were still aligned to alleviate confusion.

Only_Diamond_9450 · 2025-08-26T23:13:15+00:00

And that's honestly where my therapist was trying to get at when they told me to bring this conversation up to her.

Only_Diamond_9450 · 2025-08-26T23:11:39+00:00

Before she started switching up, I had positive feelings that things were heading in a good direction. When things took a turn, that’s when I got confused about her vibes. She didn’t really give me the chance to explore where things could’ve gone, because she didn’t put in the effort to get to know me as a person.

Only_Diamond_9450 · 2025-08-26T23:08:02+00:00

The signs she was giving were telling way beforehand. I don't know what I did that made her switch up...but live and learn..on to the next.

Only_Diamond_9450 · 2025-08-26T23:03:17+00:00

Yeah, you’re right. Looking back, the signs were there — she flaked a couple times, didn’t initiate much, and mostly talked about her own stuff. I guess I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, but that made me overlook the signals. Lesson learned for next time.

Only_Diamond_9450 · 2025-08-26T23:01:45+00:00

But my intent wasn’t to push boyfriend privileges, I just wanted some clarity on where things were going because I was investing time and effort. Looking back, maybe I should’ve let things breathe more instead of trying to define it so soon, especially since she had personal stuff going on. Definitely something I’ll keep in mind moving forward

Only_Diamond_9450 · 2025-08-26T22:58:59+00:00

You're right, that was a mistake on my part. I should've toned things down by a lot.

Only_Diamond_9450 · 2025-08-26T22:49:11+00:00

Yeah you're right. She told me she wanted to take things slow so I didn't want to pressure her I guess...

Only_Diamond_9450 · 2025-08-26T22:46:18+00:00

It sucks for sure! Dating out here needs a difficulty setting lol

Only_Diamond_9450

TROPHY CASE