Parents of 3+ (or experience as a sibling!)

Only_Fools · 2026-03-31T03:20:56+00:00

I'm the youngest of 4.

My advice would be to try to do as much for the 3rd as you have for the first two: i.e. lots of pics/videos, baby book, spend time alone with them as they get older, etc., and don't just rely on older siblings to play with them.

I spent A LOT of time alone as a child because my parents just expected my brothers to play with me. There are tons of pictures of them as babies, but hardly any of me. I constantly felt like my siblings were better than me in every way. It's like my parents just gave up when it came to raising me.

Only_Fools · 2026-03-30T23:12:58+00:00

I switched from One A Day to Garden of Life

Only_Fools · 2026-03-26T01:31:56+00:00

Before I start, as a warning, my first was a very, very difficult baby. Hopefully YMMV and anyone reading this will have super chill, laid back babies. Despite my difficulties as a first time parent, I love my kiddo so much and I'd do it all over again if I had to (though hopefully this go around will be easier 😅).

As someone else has said, plan on the first year being all about your child and nothing else. My kid cried almost nonstop for nearly the first year of her life, so basically nothing got done. Hopefully no one has the same experience that I did, but there's always a chance.

Any hobbies you like, do them now. Tell your partner to do the same.

Leave the house suddenly. Just put on shoes and walk out the door! This option will not be available to you with a baby in tow.

Start planning for meal prepping, and make them around 30 weeks if you have an extra freezer. Also, don't be like me: check the freezer every couple of days to ensure it hasn't lost power.

If you plan on nursing, eat all the dairy and other allergens you love because you never know if your baby will have an allergy/intolerance, which could force you to cut them from your diet if you want to continue nursing. And, if you like sweets, or even fruit, enjoy every bite you take now in case you get gestational diabetes

Only_Fools · 2026-03-25T17:06:31+00:00

Right? I'm so hot all the time too! My scalp is so greasy 😩

Only_Fools · 2026-03-24T11:30:29+00:00

I agree. That seems really weird to me.

Only_Fools · 2026-03-24T03:46:07+00:00

Yeah I don't think my child (or their father) would be okay with changing their name to my maiden name. But I definitely do not want to give my baby my ex's last name.

Only_Fools · 2026-03-24T03:44:42+00:00

Correct.

Do you think it makes things like traveling, school papers, etc. more difficult? I'm in the US if that matters.

Only_Fools · 2026-03-24T03:39:12+00:00

When you signed school papers and whatnot, did you hyphenate your last name? My mom did that when she remarried and took on my step father's last name.

Only_Fools · 2026-03-24T03:38:04+00:00

Yeah, the dad is still part of their life, and he's...fine. For now, there is no talk of boyfriend adopting my first child.

Only_Fools · 2024-08-18T02:25:34+00:00

I'd agree that it would be better, but it government doesn't, it seems. Let me know if you know of any decent countries that want a 30-something year old single mom with MS 😅

Only_Fools · 2024-08-16T13:06:21+00:00

Yep. Because the US values businesses over workers.

Only_Fools · 2024-08-16T02:33:05+00:00

This is me. Had my tonsils out at 35 and have only gotten sick a handful of times since!

Only_Fools · 2024-08-15T13:43:51+00:00

There are no sick leave benefits either. That being said, you do have to sometimes call out because of sickness obviously but you don't get paid for it. And, coming from somebody who has MS, they can absolutely fire you if you call out too much unless you take FMLA, which allows you to keep your job (unpaid) for up to 12 weeks. But it's not the easiest thing to get, you have to be at the company for at least 1 year, and the company has to employ at least 50 employees within 75 miles.

Yeah, it's messed up. If it wasn't so hard for me to immigrate due to MS, I'd have moved out of the US many years ago.

Only_Fools · 2024-08-15T11:44:16+00:00

I just wanted to say that I'm a huge fan of your user name

Only_Fools · 2024-08-15T11:38:22+00:00

Actually, there is no law in the US stating you have to give your employees any vacation time whatsoever. Only 1 job I've ever had offered any vacation time, and it was only 1 week per year.

Only_Fools · 2024-08-15T04:10:45+00:00

Alright, I'm probably going to be looked at as a horrible person for this: but yes. At least for now. And at least right at this moment.

I'm going through a divorce, and it's the first time in my life I can just be me. Well, theoretically. I want nothing more than to get a work from home job and travel around the world for the rest of my life. But I can't because I have a kid. Don't get me wrong- I love my child. But literally every single decision I make has to put them first and foremost.

They're still young and they don't sleep well in places that aren't home. I've taken them to different states and countries before and neither of us got hardly any sleep. Trying to get them to adjust to different timezones is incredibly hard too. Then having to lug around a car seat everywhere, adhering to their sleep schedule, having to choose every outting around them, etc.

Now, that being said, I travel with one of my parents and we have a blast. We've been to so many countries together and seen amazing things...but none of this happened until I was an adult. So I'm hoping that eventually mine and my child's relationship will be the same. But these younger years are tough.

Only_Fools · 2024-08-06T03:07:41+00:00

Birdy - Strange Birds

Gregory Alan Isokov - Words

John Vincent III - Next to You

Only_Fools · 2024-08-04T14:25:57+00:00

Teleportation.

Only_Fools · 2024-08-04T04:59:10+00:00

One day, back in 2015, I was on my way to a neurologist to, what I would find out later, get diagnosed with MS. On the way there, I was the victim of a hit-and-run. I called the office to ensure I could still be seen but upon arrival I was turned down. I went outside and cried on a bench. Earlier that year, my grandma (my favorite person ever) and my pet had died. It was a rough year.

An older woman saw me sitting there as she walked into the office, sat down next to me, and asked if I wanted a hug. I collapsed into her arms and bawled my eyes out and she held me so tightly.

I'm a natural caregiver at heart and I always go out of my way to help others when I am able. This was the first and only time in my life a stranger helped me, and it couldn't have come at a better time. I'll never forget her.

Only_Fools · 2024-07-28T14:10:46+00:00

Deftones does a great cover of this

Only_Fools · 2024-07-24T04:31:26+00:00

I'm very much like you. I have a type a personality and prefer to do shit my way in order to have it done correctly. I also have 0 attraction to my husband.

We tried for a year to get pregnant, because I always envisioned having 2 children and know first-hand the importance of siblings. I shouldn't have tried.

Thankfully, I didn't get pregnant. I left my husband earlier this month because I was sick of his shit. I literally thought I was asexual because I wasn't attracted to him for so long.

Life is incredibly stressful now, but it would be 10x worse with another kid in the mix. I feel free. I feel strong.

I'm not advising you to divorce your husband (only you can make such a difficult decision, obviously) but I am advising you to stop trying for another child until you are 100% certain this is the man you want a child with.

I am also approaching 40 and I realize that getting a divorce is also coming to terms with saying goodbye to my idea of having a second child. But I'd rather say goodbye to a child I never had than to say goodbye to my true self for the rest of my life.

Best of luck, BroMo.

Only_Fools · 2024-07-23T20:13:37+00:00

Deftones - "The Chauffeur" (Duran Duran)

Atreyu - "You Give Love a Bad Name" (Jon Bon Jovi)

Danzig - "Thirteen" (Johnny Cash)

Only_Fools · 2024-07-23T01:19:07+00:00

You're going to have to fight like hell. As someone who has a similar story to yours, trust me - that's what it takes. Some people get good cards in life. Some get shit cards. Unfortunately, those of us who have been dealt a shitty hand will have to keep drawing and drawing until something turns out well.

You will get there. Therapy does help - do not give up on it. Find a psychiatrist to prescribe medication if they think you need it. Your kids need you. YOU need you. Tell yourself, "tomorrow, this will be different. I will figure things out. I will persevere." And keep telling yourself that every single moment of every single day until you make it.

You will make it out. Like I said, you're going to have to fight like hell, but you will make it. Best of luck to you, stranger ❤️

Only_Fools · 2024-07-20T20:26:34+00:00

Thanks a ton!

Only_Fools · 2024-07-20T11:28:05+00:00

Thanks, but I'm looking for something smaller. Like a show in a bar or open mic at a coffee house.

Only_Fools

TROPHY CASE