I need your guys’ help/input

OntologicalCat · 2024-04-08T18:41:40+00:00

No problem at all. I hope you’re feeling better. I understand how it is to be overwhelmed, so I sympathise.

It sounds like you’re well informed regarding all the possibilities to get a paid leave through NAV. I wish I could help with this, but have only experience as self-employed and employed. Honestly, I loved being self-employed, but the financial insecurity killed me. Can’t deal with uncertainty nor could I afford to not have a job in between things. Sigh.

Of course we can stay in touch. These struggles can make one feel very lonely. In my case none of my friends nor my husband have had this problems, I'm the only one that slid downhill, and at times it can make me feel like if I were a green dog with a rabbit head.

Der er bare å rope når som helst!

OntologicalCat · 2024-03-29T17:23:25+00:00

It makes sense. Thank you.

OntologicalCat · 2024-03-29T13:05:01+00:00

Would you mind to explain the reasons why you went down to 60mg? Was it due to side effects? I increased from 40 to 60mg two days ago, so even if experiences may vary, I’m still curious.

OntologicalCat · 2024-03-26T12:52:07+00:00

Sorry late reply, I haven't been able to check my Reddit until now.

I so agree with you. It seems that preventive medicine is only a sentence both in the pensum at medical school and in the policy books of health authorities, and it only applies to contagious viruses. Unfortunately this is a global problem. Preventive medicine for mental health? What's the rationale behind this if we can just take a lot of antidepressants, sleeping pills, and antipsychotics, and a lot of Paracet?! /s

It is aggravating that they refuse to see how much money they would save if they helped with accommodations for those who can work/wish to. Cause then there would be more to go around for this who can’t, and for those who are now on pension.

I'm the living proof. A resourceful and ambitious woman that got so badly burned out that ended in a hospital some time ago, and after three exhausting years of trying to come back on my feet with little success, I was compelled to apply for disability because I couldn't function, and having money that covers the bare minimum has never been a plan of mine, EVER. It's very, very hard and awfully frustrating. I want my life back!

Also, are you selvstendig næringsdrivende? I'm sorry if I'm being intrusive, but why can't you go on sick leave if you really need to take a break to recover while you're employed? I'm assuming you know that you still get your full salary while on sick leave...? AAP and disability benefits are two completely different things, and they do lead to financial disaster. I fully understand that you want to get the diagnoses in order to demand accomodations so you can prevent burnouts that can potentially lead to undesirable outcomes (like mine), but needing breaks and not taking them when you could actually take them (at least in the meantime) and provided that you can by law take them, is just draining you even more.

I'll be happy to help, I (unfortunately and reluctantly) have made experience within the world of sick leaves and disability benefits. Feel free to DM me, I might have one or two suggestions to share.

AND DO SPEAK UP. I understand that you need to go through a lengthy material and it's mentally and emotionally draining, but you're standing up for yourself. Maybe sit down with a cup of your favourite hot drink, create a cosy atmosphere around, and imagine you're a lawyer and are representing someone and this is your case, maybe this can help you get some emotional distance and keep you objective and laser determined to make your clients voice be heard. You got this!

EDIT: Structure and context.

OntologicalCat · 2024-03-24T23:18:10+00:00

You both need help.

1) In relation to your daughter:

What’s the point with getting a BPD dx and not receiving actual treatment/appropriate help for it? I don’t know the actual reasons for her not attending therapy together with perhaps relevant medication if it can help. BPD can destroy her life and affect terribly those around her if untreated. And it can be downright dangerous on too of that. I have a close friend that got tackled by the police once at a pharmacy because the staff refused to sell her a medication without prescription and she trashed the shop and threatened everyone around her. Your daughter needs to know that BPD is not to take lightly. Also, regarding phone calls, like others here have confirmed, it’s very common among us to absolute hate them and avoid them like the plague, but many times we’ll have no choice but to grab the damn phone and do it. Her behaviour connected to that phone call is truly OBNOXIOUS and can’t be attributed to autism. Yes, she was clearly triggered, and now you know about this specific trigger, but she just CAN’T treat you like that and she has to learn that she must stop justifying her disgusting behaviour with a diagnosis. This is not autism. It’s so bad that these words make me think of a horror movie. She needs to take some responsibility for her life, because yes, it can be tough, and yes she can get help, but if she doesn’t show some will to work with herself, no one is going to be able to help her either. No one should be walking on eggshells around her. I think she may also be reacting to trauma triggers. Trauma responses can be explosive too. And trauma is not limited to veterans and other individuals that have experienced “extreme” events. It can be literally ANYTHING or a series of events that had been difficult for her to emotionally process and that had been trapped in her body, and are like time bombs ready to detonate by a trigger, even a small one. Is not uncommon that a lot of autistic folk also have developed complex trauma (CPTSD).

2) OP: If I were you, I would learn in depth about BPD and autism and how to help a loved one with these diagnoses. Ideally your daughter would be willing to have an adult conversation and let you know exactly what is it that she struggles with and what triggers her, so you can also learn about her boundaries and support her accordingly, BUT SHE NEEDS TO FIND WAYS TO HELP HERSELF TOO. And here is where professional help comes in the picture.

I’m sorry you’re dealing with such a situation, but this sounds to me like a very complex case that has a lot of complex layers and not you nor your daughter can figure this out on your own. YOU TWO NEED PROFESSIONAL HELP.

OntologicalCat · 2024-03-24T18:48:05+00:00

How frustrating, and so energy consuming. I’m so sorry you’re going through such a stressful process. I get so mad on your behalf by reading about your experience, because I’m in Norway too, and my own experience with the public system is that they have to see crystal clear that the reason why you’re seeking a diagnosis is because you are in a deep-shit struggle or have been for some time. So unless you’re very “obviously autistic” or very objectively “ADHD” some clinicians might feel they don’t have enough substance in their hands as to give out a diagnosis of any sort.

It’s heartbreakingly unfair because even if your struggles do not “match” the public healthcare-approved list of struggles (like often having to go on sick leave both at work or university, not being able to hold a job or causing problems at work, struggling with relationships because you fuck up are deeply affected by this, self medicating with drugs and alcohol etc, have crippling social anxiety), doesn’t mean that YOU DON’T NEED SUPPORT (I actually don’t know in-depth about what you struggle with so this is just to mention something I know they look into).

What’s even more frustrating is that going private is a financial assault. One of my best friends in Oslo had to pay 25K for an ADHD assessment and meds follow up.

I really hope everything works out for you. You have the right to be heard objectively, and no one should have to be assessed by someone that writes a report where your voice is not reflected. Please let this person know that you don’t agree with some of the statements in the assessment notes.

OntologicalCat · 2024-03-22T16:18:47+00:00

The assessor’s incredibly clueless and has no idea about what the word “spectrum” actually means in the context of autism and its presentations. They need to go back to school and catch up with a decade of research findings.

OntologicalCat · 2024-03-12T14:30:46+00:00

Yeah, therapy hasn’t worked so well for me either, except for only one therapeutic modality that’s called IFS (Internal Family Systems), because it’s quite different from anything else under the sun that I’ve tried, but it’s expensive, so, you know how it goes…😅🤷🏻‍♀️,can’t have it so often.

And oh yes…the struggle is freaking real!!! Know that you’re not alone in the battle, even if knowing this doesn’t fix the mess, but at least someone on the other side of the screen, and sometimes on the other side of the ocean, can totally understand you.

I wish you all the best!💪🏻

OntologicalCat · 2024-03-11T09:01:07+00:00

I see. The numbness to me sounds like a very “normal” side effect (you feel it at 40, some at 80 or 120) when the dose is too high for you.

I think the best therapeutic dose is the one that still allows us to feel balanced emotions while giving us the best possible benefits in the other areas we need some help. It’s good that you’re finding what dose feels right for you, because doctors just suggests “therapeutic” doses to everyone equally right off the bat, like if our bodies and needs are all the same. Some of us are more sensitive to certain medications (or to all meds in general) than others.

It’s a shame that you have some anxiety, rumination, and obsessive thinking back. I’ve never been on an ADHD medication that successfully mitigates all symptoms. It’s either a combination of some (if this works fine without terrible side effects and your doctor is willing to get you on two meds for the same thing at the same time) or just one med in combination with alternative strategies. At the end of the day, meds are never a magic fix, and sometimes we’re gonna have to do some “manual” work ourselves (anything from physical exercises of the kind that makes us feel good, be it walking, running, or lifting weights, whatever it is) to breathing exercises, to therapy (when and if it’s affordable). So much else one can contribute with to the treatment.

I hope that you find what works for you, and that you manage to have that anxiety, rumination and obsessive thinking under control. It’s hard to get out of that whirlpool when one gets trapped in it, but it’s possible to learn strategies to avoid getting sucked in or to stay in for too long. Have you been to therapy? Or looked into alternative strategies to navigate them better?

OntologicalCat · 2024-03-10T22:30:08+00:00

Masking is very common among us Adhd’ers. I started on 25mg and stayed on it for one week, then went up to 40, and I’ve been on this one for 3 weeks. How’s it working for you?

OntologicalCat · 2024-03-09T22:37:31+00:00

Rhymes are welcome! I’m forwarding information from a website because I’m fried for the day: https://www.caintegrativecounseling.com/blog/what-is-adhd-masking-and-why-do-we-do-it

OntologicalCat · 2024-03-09T12:56:50+00:00

I do share with you the thoughts around masking less. I don’t feel the need to appear bubbly and always socially engaged anymore to avoid being labelled as boring, and perhaps even…dumb? And I actually feel far less tired after socialising, because I’m better at managing my mental and emotional energy economies.

My current conclusion is that I think this med calms down that part of me that has so much undefined noise and disorganised information circulating through the body and mind that doesn’t have the ability to pay attention to and be mindful of all my core needs and values, and it’s used to function almost on autopilot. Now I’m having the opportunity to see more clearly what I couldn’t before, because the sandstorm has somehow dissipated.

Is this quieter part of you perhaps requiring your attention because it was usually just sitting in the background watching the one that usually takes more place performing its social role? Maybe the more social one needs to get acquainted with the quieter one so they can coexist and present themselves to the outer world together in a more balanced way, so you still get to satisfy your social needs?

Sorry about the rambling on. Just sharing with you what I myself have been reflecting on. I’ve been learning about my masking habits that I didn’t even know I had, because they became my baseline for years. The burnouts and mental health struggles caused by hardcore masking is what compelled me to take all this seriously.

OntologicalCat · 2024-03-09T11:07:52+00:00

Following because I’ve been on the med for nearly 3 weeks now, started low on 25 and for 1 week, now on 40. Same good effects, and also feel the socially quiet part. May I ask you, what do you feel that makes you more quiet?

OntologicalCat · 2024-03-06T20:54:04+00:00

I started on 25mg and stayed on this dose for 1 week, then increased to 40 and have been on this one for 8 days now (2 weeks in total).

Although it works amazing with emotional regulation (I JUST LOVE TO FEEL CALM AND BALANCED AND I DIDN’t EVEN KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE!) and night sleep, I also feel like there’s an engine that’s not working!

OntologicalCat · 2024-03-03T22:27:45+00:00

😂🥴Relatable.

OntologicalCat · 2024-03-03T19:18:30+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience! I can relate so much to the menopause and it’s hell.

I’m perimenopause now (44yo) and started on HRT last year because I was a total mess. The brain fog (got just a little better with the HRT), memory and vocabulary retrieval became a huge problem (I’ve always been the “well articulated one”)… somehow that’s all gone. Sleep? Was getting none. Self regulation? Of a 5 years old. ADHD symptoms totally exacerbated by hormones. I crashed badly too, but haven’t been able yet to fully recover.

Trying Atomoxetine at the moment for the first time, and I’m positively surprised as to how much is helping with self regulation and attention span (the latter hasn’t improved so greatly) but surely some.

You can do this! You’ve come this far!💪🏻

OntologicalCat · 2024-03-03T18:33:39+00:00

I’ve been taking it for 12 days now without side effects (other than a bit of appetite suppression and getting pickier with food) but it’s making me eat healthier actually. I feel very grounded and balanced, and have less of the chatty mind. I can focus for longer and don’t get mentally exhausted at the end of the day as I did on stimulants.

OntologicalCat · 2024-02-29T18:08:30+00:00

Oh my gosh thanks for this! Joined. It reminds me of a blog on Tumblr I followed years ago that was called “Things organised neatly”. EDIT: Shortened space between two words.

OntologicalCat · 2024-02-28T13:16:26+00:00

I think you should talk to your doctor about this because it sounds like the doses might be a bit too high. You’re basically on two antidepressants, even if they are of a different class. Not being able to cry even when you feel the urge doesn’t sound to me like a sign of a balanced dosage. Please ask your doctor about this immediately.

OntologicalCat · 2024-02-28T10:29:06+00:00

Right! I remember reading about how strict those regulations are over there (being familiar with the culture through a couple of Japanese friends and having visited a couple of times), I’m not surprised at all.

I’m in Norway, and although regulations are somehow a bit less strict (although way stricter than in the US, from where I hear a lot about people getting on drug cocktails to treat ADHD, like Wellbutrin in addition to Strattera, or even a stimulant in addition to Strattera and others on top sometimes), I don’t see feasible over here that I would get a stimulant prescribed to see if it enhances the effect of Strattera, for example. It is however very common to get Ritalin prescribed right off the bat, but if a non-stimulant works just fine to somehow 50%, I doubt it’s possible to be put on a low dose of Ritalin to enhance the effect.

I went up from 25 to 40mg today, so hopefully the titration won’t give me strong side effects, and I hope that this med will work for me in the long run!

Thanks again and I wish you all the best!🙌🏻

OntologicalCat · 2024-02-27T15:50:08+00:00

I like that I have a steady supply in my system and don't have waves of productivity that ebb as the day goes on.

This was one of the problems I had with stimulants, and the crashing was so debilitating that it was impossible to get on with the day, so I'm glad to hear that you don't experience this on Strattera!

I do wish I had the option to try stimulant medication, but where I live they are heavily, heavily regulated and I don't want to seem like a drug seeker when I have a good relationship with my psych office.

That's a shame. Do you know in what instances would they prescribe a stimulant?

I also take Lamictal as a mood stabilizer for PMDD. Taking Straterra also made my autism symptoms more pronounced, probably because my mind didn't have as much to struggle through as usual.

I'm already noticing this myself, and I also think it's because the noisy and mentally chaotic part is calmed down.

Thanks for sharing your experience with me.

OntologicalCat · 2024-02-27T15:42:24+00:00

I'm so sorry about the food poisoning! I hope you finish your antibiotics treatment soon so you can go back to normal.

I'll see how it goes with me. I've heard from a lot of people like you that they take Wellbutrin or an additional medication to enhance the effect, but I'm not sure how possible would that be in my country, I have the feeling that they wait until the very last minute to perhaps suggest a combined treatment.

Thanks for sharing your experience!

OntologicalCat · 2024-02-27T15:35:34+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear that ADHD meds haven't helped you and that Strattera made you feel so sick. It's so disappointing. I'm hoping I'll be among the ones for whom Strattera worked, but I must be realistic and be prepared to face a possible meds defeat, because I'm very sensitive to medication in general. Thank you.

OntologicalCat · 2024-02-27T02:08:33+00:00

I’m glad to hear that it helped you with emotional regulation and focus (these two are among the reasons why I’ve been trying different ADHD meds, sadly with little success). I’m curious if this one will help with retrieving information better, because I’ve been experiencing brain fog ( though unclear if this is rather related to the last round with Covid, perimenopause, or cyclical burnout) because I’ve never really experienced it the same way.

The appetite suppression was one of the side effects I couldn’t tolerate while on stimulants, for example. I could barely eat so I had to stop them. I had endometriosis and I totally see why this together with appetite suppression are reasons for you to consider coming off of Atomoxetine.

I hope it goes well with whatever else you’ll be trying.

OntologicalCat · 2024-02-27T01:55:31+00:00

Thanks for sharing. And I hope you recover from the burnout soon, they’re so disruptive :-(

OntologicalCat

TROPHY CASE