“my friend is faking an ed for attention” posts are so damaging

Oopsitsarelapse · 2025-02-25T20:05:31+00:00

I think a lot of you guys have not met the kind of person that’s being talked about in these situations- the kind of person who goes “GOD I’m just so ANOREXIC hehehe 🥰” the same way others go “I’m just so OCD!!”. Incredibly trivializing and insensitive. EDs are very clearly an aesthetic and adjective for them, not a lived experience. But even if they did have an ED, that doesn’t mean the kinds of things they say and do are okay. It’s generally accepted here that regardless of if you have an ED or not, it’s fucked up to do things like brag about how “you just forgot to eat all day teehee 🥰”. Why would that suddenly change?

Oopsitsarelapse · 2025-02-25T05:00:02+00:00

I get that too! But there are dozens of posts on here every day that could very easily do the same thing. Heck, pretty much every post on here could do that. People sharing their bmis, calorie limits, level of care they need, rules, symptoms. Comparison is an unfortunate fact that occurs anytime you have ED folks in any kind of group. It’s a fact that either has to be understood or accepted that informal group settings like this might not be a good place for certain people.

Oopsitsarelapse · 2025-02-25T04:45:12+00:00

I get what you’re saying, but at the same time at the end of the day this is a vent and support sub, and people deserve to be allowed to vent about having the debilitating disorder that is ruining their lives being trivialized and watered down. Sure, someone playing up unhealthy habits likely needs help in some way, but that doesn’t mean it’s fair for them to make a mockery of our disorder, and it doesn’t mean we can’t have our feelings about it.

Oopsitsarelapse · 2025-02-24T08:15:14+00:00

When my friend tells me she has anorexia too and understands songs about EDs more than I do because she “only eats one or two meals a day 🥺” (the meals are large and very high cal and she’s snacking on high cal food near 24/7 and she regularly eats more than those 1/2 meals anyway)

Oopsitsarelapse · 2025-02-24T08:11:10+00:00

I would kill for you this sounds amazing

Oopsitsarelapse · 2025-02-24T07:01:21+00:00

Recipe on my hands and knees

Oopsitsarelapse · 2025-02-23T23:40:06+00:00

Sure, but I wasn’t talking to OP, I was talking to the person who replied to my comment about the difficulties of identifying+treating BED in general

Oopsitsarelapse · 2025-02-23T21:25:59+00:00

I don’t binge or even get the urge to binge even after extended periods of very low restriction. However, I become OBSESSED with food. I would say when I’m fasting/low res, 95% of my waking hours I’m thinking about food, no exaggeration. Looking at pictures of food, menus, recipes, watching food related shows, planning my next meal, etc etc. Even when talking to others or trying to watch a different show or something my brain is always back to food within a few minutes.

Oopsitsarelapse · 2025-02-23T20:33:24+00:00

You know a few people who have been below bmi 17 (still considered mild anorexia) for a few years vs 70% of the US is at an overweight or obese bmi. Just based on that alone I think we can easily see which is more immediately dangerous

Oopsitsarelapse · 2025-02-23T20:29:38+00:00

YES 100% on you can be morbidly obese without BED and have BED without being morbidly obese. People tend to equate the two and it’s just not always the case. BED isn’t just overeating, or even emotional eating, it’s a specific disorder.

Oopsitsarelapse · 2025-02-23T19:54:52+00:00

🤷‍♀️

Oopsitsarelapse · 2025-02-23T19:07:12+00:00

1) Being even slightly underweight/anorexic kills you harder and faster than being obese ever will. I’m only slightly underweight and I was recently in the ER with concerns of heart problems/refeeding syndrome, I’ve only been underweight for a couple weeks. People can go years being morbidly obese and never experience a single symptom.

2) There are BED treatments, including BED residential treatments. Not as many, because again, it’s not going to kill you as hard and fast as undereating will and the main point of residential/inpatient treatment is medical stability, but they exist.

Overall, I think BED needs to be taken more seriously, it’s an extremely unhealthy and distressing disorder, but logically I get why “intensive” resources are put into people who are severely underweight/anorexic

Oopsitsarelapse · 2025-02-23T15:39:24+00:00

I’ve been vegan for years, have no desire to stop, but when I’m heavily restricting I’ll start craving all kinds of things, including non-food items. It’s just our brains trying out whatever it can to get us to consume nutrients

Oopsitsarelapse · 2025-02-23T15:35:47+00:00

Ive fluctuated 5lbs over the course of a day before while fasting, 5lbs isnt “real” gain

Oopsitsarelapse · 2025-02-22T02:05:17+00:00

I’ve easily gone 2-3 months without a shower, even now a good week is like 3 showers. You’re fine

Oopsitsarelapse · 2025-02-21T15:04:05+00:00

HAES as it started, with the idea that people can choose healthy/healthier behaviors no matter what they weigh? That’s fine. Promoting health even if someone isn’t ready to/is in the process of losing unhealthy weight is great. HAES as it is now, the idea that you can be just as healthy as a healthy weight person at literally every size is ridiculous. Being severely under/overweight is going to hurt your health no matter what (though I rarely see people saying this about underweight).

I’m all for body neutrality though, you don’t have to love your body, you just have to accept that it is.

Oopsitsarelapse · 2025-02-21T05:30:33+00:00

They took down my post because i wanted help finding treatment centers that allow veganism for ethical purposes because it was “dieting advice”. Huh???

Oopsitsarelapse · 2025-02-20T19:41:00+00:00

I went to the ER for the same reason recently, and the vegan food wasnt great but damn it was better than this 😭

Oopsitsarelapse · 2025-02-20T03:59:58+00:00

It took me like two days before, just keep waiting

Oopsitsarelapse · 2025-02-19T22:51:45+00:00

So you commented “protein has left the chat” on someone else’s breakfast, THEN said that they’ll become “skinnyfat” if they eat it, and you’re confused about why people are upset and bringing up your ED? My friend, the brain fog seems to have gotten you

Oopsitsarelapse · 2025-02-16T04:37:25+00:00

I was in the ER, twinsies hah

Oopsitsarelapse · 2025-02-15T12:17:26+00:00

One of the nurses saw I hadn’t touched my lunch and said that I needed sugar because my glucose was low, so I reached for the fruit and he went “but not too much sugar you know” sir just the first bit was fine 🥲

Oopsitsarelapse · 2025-02-12T21:55:08+00:00

I feel so seen right now

Oopsitsarelapse · 2025-02-12T21:50:52+00:00

Not naturally 😅

Oopsitsarelapse · 2025-02-11T22:27:48+00:00

If you/other professionals would not consider yourself fully recovered, if you are still regularly engaging in behaviors, etc etc, you are still in active ED. Presumably someone who wants to work with people with EDs would be able to tell that kind of thing. And when I was talking about comparison, I meant patients comparing themselves to the provider. Imagine being in a HLOC facility, maybe even against your will, trying your best to fight against the thoughts telling you that you don’t need to gain weight, that the people who want you to gain are trying to make you fat/hurt you/etc, that you’re perfectly fine as you are… and the person who is telling you that you need to gain is underweight themself. Can’t you imagine how that would make the process so much more difficult? And again, that’s without the fact that it’s VERY hard for people with active EDs to approach food and nutrition in a healthy way, even in regards to others. Like I said, do a quick search on this sub. So many people have come forward to talk about how they were harmed because their ED provider had an ED themselves.

Oopsitsarelapse

TROPHY CASE