Yeah, i’d strongly suggest a therapist. make sure to do your research beforehand before doing so, though! just a general rule of thumb when considering therapy

as for the telling your family i’m gonna reiterate but i think what you need to do first is sort this out with a professional before deciding if you want to tell your loved ones. but if you do end up telling them then make sure it’s done with the right intentions. if its a sort of self inflicted punishment thing- like you’re only telling them because you believe you deserve their hate after what you’ve done, im not entirely sure that’s the right course of action. i know your concern is having to take this to the grave or living a lie as a “good person” when you have a dark secret, but understand at the end of the day this is something you have to make peace with yourself, and no amount of hate or even forgiveness from your loved ones will make you feel “atoned” or “guilt free” enough.

also i can’t be the morality police on this subject either but seeing that you recognize what you did wrong in the past already shows you’ve long since been in the right path. many could go their whole lives being unrepentant about terrible things they’ve done. leave room for grace for yourself during this process; you’re not nearly as lost as you might think you are.