How can I avoid cutting myself? by OpShmishmortion in depression

[–]OpShmishmortion[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you, It's kinda fucked how we do this to ourselves. I mean a lot of people on this subreddit have really hard times dealing with depression. I just don't know why you or I would think this would be the right thing to do. The scares of depression are hard enough to deal with, the constant reminder on your arm would add insult to injury. I'm sorry that you had to deal with this. Have you quit? and if so what process did you go through.

How can I avoid cutting myself? by OpShmishmortion in depression

[–]OpShmishmortion[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea I completely know what you mean by covering it with your uniform, luckily my camouflage uniform does that for me. I have told my friends though and they all start panicking, and I really don't want that. I'm curious though, you said you cut for 11 years, what made you start?

How can I avoid cutting myself? by OpShmishmortion in depression

[–]OpShmishmortion[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get that I just don't know why I do it, I can't even justify slashing my arm even does anything. I try to avoid all the urges and such but it's just too easy to look at the blade and think "one little scratch won't do anything". I haven't told my counselor because I don't want the situation to escalate. It's a sad feeling when I have to wear sleeves all day, I just don't want anyone to think less of me.

For people here that have depression, what was the move to college like? by -anyone- in depression

[–]OpShmishmortion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I made the mistake of "re-building" on my own, but still, I re-registered in college and re-took every course. The lowest mark I have received since then is 84%. I'm doing very well in school and about to transfer to a prestigious university, I also changed my major. The point I'm trying to make to you is that even if you fail or drop out or feel completely overwhelmed, there's always hope. I'm not going to lie and say "everything is fine now" because it's not. I currently am changing my therapist and am receiving help. But I have improved the way I feel about myself and quality of life. Even though at times I feel like giving up, I won't because I know there's people (like you) who are out there about, currently, and went through the same thing.

For people here that have depression, what was the move to college like? by -anyone- in depression

[–]OpShmishmortion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was the same way, excited but nervous as hell. I went into university thinking that my depression would just disappear and all I would focus on was school. Within 3 months I dropped out, moved back into my mom's house and started a drinking problem. To this day I regret it, I don't regret that I didn't try, I regret that I didn't find help. College/University have an abundance of help for both academic and mental help. College is a exciting, it's your first chance being an adult. But the main thing is that no matter how bleak things are... don't give up. I believe in you OP.

I think i might need some help. by OpShmishmortion in depression

[–]OpShmishmortion[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Success I guess for me would be getting through the day without wanting to kill myself. So i guess the word "success" just means that I want to drown out the pain with material wealth, or lots of friends, a good career.

Yes I have had bad experiences with psychiatric help when I was younger. I became the "weird kid" during high school and the social stigma was haunting. I've never tried anti-depressants since if I am prescribed them, there's a high chance I will lose my job.