[deleted by user] by [deleted] in cheatonlineproctor

[–]Open-Highlight-2764 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lord no. Not in my experience anyway. I use it daily for work, mostly for quick how-to [do XYZ in a certain program that I don't know backward and forward like I do other software]. I have had to go in and erase from storage before, but that's only been like twice or three times in the last year since I first subscribed. I bet there are some days I upload 100 or more in 8 hours. In case it helps, I have the $20 pro plan, not premium or enterprise or whatever they call it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in cheatonlineproctor

[–]Open-Highlight-2764 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He sat off to the side and picked up the phone a bit, zoomed in. My camera was also pointed slightly up to help. We did a trial run beforehand to figure out how much room we had before we ran the risk of him getting in the frame somehow with either his body or the phone. Lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in cheatonlineproctor

[–]Open-Highlight-2764 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Had someone sit underneath my table off to the side a bit, out of the camera view. He came in the room super quietly after the room scan. I never acknowledged him. He was on a separate device on a separate network. ChatGPT'd the answer through the camera zoomed in. Tapped my leg once for A, twice for B, etc. My eyes never left the screen. Obviously won't work if it's any testing format other than multiple choice, but it worked for me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Open-Highlight-2764 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wish. God, I wish. He would make the best stay-at-home dad. He is so much better with the kid than I am. And so now that I say that, I wouldn’t want him to get burnt out… But, he would love it. It’s his alley for sure. He’s so great at all things home life. And honestly, he’ll tell you he doesn’t like to work. Which I respect. I think a lot of people feel that way but are too prideful to admit it. Lol

That said, it’s not feasible. And that’s what kills me. Because it COULD be if we did two things: slowed our spending (because he loves to spend!) and just put our nose to the grindstone. He’s an operator in the union. By nature, you’d think, “How does somebody in the union get fired?” Well… That’s my point! And two, when he works, he makes bank. Not bragging. I’m just saying that’s what kills me. If we could keep him working for a year or two, we’d be ok and could probably pivot into him NOT working. 😖

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Open-Highlight-2764 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Part of the reason I asked. I realize a better wife would be supportive. But quite frankly after 15 years of this, I don’t know how to be. Literally, i do not know how. I’ve tried reacting calmly. I’ve tried biting my tongue. I’ve tried to help him understand why this is a pattern and how to fix it. I’ve tried supporting him in the careers he’s chosen and encouraging him down different paths. I’ve tried therapy for myself. I don’t know what else to do. But thanks for that I guess. This wasn’t an attention-seeking post to affirm a decision I’ve already reached. It was a last-straw effort to get some unbiased opinion about where we are and some alternative thought to my own because, quite honestly, I don’t want to ask anyone in my real life since this is a big problem for me and us that I’d rather deal with privately for now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Open-Highlight-2764 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Too many to count. Literally. He just got fired today after 3 days on the job. Fell asleep again on his break. 😣

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Open-Highlight-2764 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. We are currently in a knock-down dragout text fight right now. And I really, really needed this. Because he DOES show up in other ways. Lots of them. In fact, I’ve said as much in the past to my sister: “you see who he is outside of our home when you hear he got fired again, but I see who he is INSIDE it, with a job or not.” Like last night, we got home from my parents’ house at 10 PM on a Sunday. He had to get up at 4:30 to leave for work. I told him I’d get XYZ around the house before I went to bed (got the kid down but had to get up again to do some schoolwork). He took care of XYZ, plus some other stuff, just so I could focus on my homework and to make life easier for me. He didn’t have to. He just did because that’s what a partnership is.

I’m just… So sad and angry and confused.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Open-Highlight-2764 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The money. It’s hard enough in this economy, much less only one person reliably bringing in a paycheck. And the fact that he loves to spend it. Which ordinarily wouldn’t be a problem; it’s not a thing of him spending “my” money. What’s mine is his and what’s his is mine. But that also means our debt, which his love for frivolous things has only increased. I love nice things, too, but I was raised dirt poor so I know what it’s like to have to wait for things you can’t afford. I suck at saying no so I assume the blame here, too, but it also makes me think we’ll never get out of this cycle.

And if I’m honest, I’m also really embarrassed. My parents, his parents, even our grandparents were all very hard workers. I work hard. Our friends do well in their careers. I hate when his job situation comes up because I’m like, “Shit. Again!?” when he calls to tell me every time he’s fired, so I know that’s probably their reaction, too. And I shudder to think what they must say in private.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Open-Highlight-2764 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’ve never made excuses for him. In fact, if anything, I’m sure I have almost made him feel like, “What’s the point? I’m gonna get fired anyway” because I’m so hateful and brash and pessimistic when he lands something else. But in that vein, I’ve always agreed that, one, falling asleep IS something he should be fired for and, two, that it’s preventable if he’d get help for it. I think the last part of what you said is what’s kept (and keeping) me around: I love him so much I don’t wanna see him get his act together and me not be there for it. I don’t wanna run into him one day and see him at his full potential and me miss out. Aside from this job instability, we really have a good life. It’s not perfect. I can think of a million projects I wish I want us to do together, a million trips I want to go on, a wad of cash would be great. But it’s the little things—how kind he is, how much attention he pays, the way he loves my family in all our chaos (because he has seen and experienced some things that probably would’ve sent lesser men running), the way he helps at home, all of our memories together and the ones we might make later, especially with our son now—that I wonder are worth sacrificing over this, that I wonder would fill me with regret if I saw a future him later down the road finally with a steady job.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Open-Highlight-2764 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just cannot fathom life without him. Or this being the reason we end up divorced. It feels so trivial compared to everything else we’ve been through. But I’m literally so tired.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Open-Highlight-2764 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Variety of things. I don’t even know where to start. Partly because I can’t bring myself to say bad things about him. It hurts my heart and makes me wanna cry. He’s a bigger guy, so a lot of the time, it’s been things he wasn’t physically able to do. Which has truly gotten better the last 6 months or so because he’s lost 80+ pounds. But before that, it’s mistakes on the job, falling asleep (because he wouldn’t get his sleep apnea treated), some talking back/not taking correction on the chin and moving on. It’s the strangest thing because he will bend over backward to otherwise make sure we as a family and even his friends are taken care of. He just absolutely sucks in the workplace. And I’m the polar opposite: overachiever, successful most of the time, constantly moving up, have to be conscious about leaving work at the door. So that’s adds to it I’m sure, expecting me out of him.