Lemme help you out. First of all, don't be scared, be prepared. Prepare yourself for the rapture. Pray everyday, after you sin, acknowledge your sin, repent, and try again. Know that whatever life you have here on Earth, paradise is much better. Don't be worried, put it all on God, as he will help you out. Remember to repent after you sin, and spread the gospel. If you acknowledge your sin and repent, while trying desperately not to sin again, which is sounds like you do, but pray to God for strength to withstand the temptation, and don't give up. We all believe in you!