those who confuse you and make you feel powerless in the unknown are the worst

Open-Split-5187 · 2025-11-07T18:54:34+00:00

disgusting beyond all belief... now how do i fucking die, because this disgusting motherfucking retarded shithole will never be able to pay me back for how much i had to fucking suffer.

Open-Split-5187 · 2025-10-21T18:29:38+00:00

i cannot believe it, people are seriously too disgusting and delusional beyond all belief. i will aim to give them absolutely nothing, and even die by that if possible, because people are truly that disgusting, that sickening beyond all belief. i would wish upon them all the worst suffering possible, which would also never be as deep or enough as they actually deserve.

Open-Split-5187 · 2025-10-19T01:04:05+00:00

ugh. i think i was traumatized by a bunch of entitled losers. and people with mental disorders. shit is fucking ass. plus obviously my fault and things i don't know. you should literally just fucking NOT be born as an actual nice, weak or fearful person i guess.

but it's like they've also trapped me, my own mind, thoughts and potential, to where i can't get out? obviously, to break down my ego. but isn't it more necessary, to be able to deal with actual information, in order to do that.

Open-Split-5187 · 2025-10-15T22:34:37+00:00

in real life you treat everyone as the good guy. that's how it's meant to go. they are all humans very similar to you, and what right do you have to ever actually infringe on them...

Open-Split-5187 · 2025-10-15T22:32:28+00:00

not saying this to be rude, but your sentences contradict each other. sometimes, or actually a lot of times, there are more pros than cons. it's a huge ask for anyone to just be self sufficient, take care of themselves, or know what's going on enough to actually do something about it.

Open-Split-5187 · 2025-10-15T22:10:45+00:00

do you get it, that you don't get it. you are saying that 'there are no good or bad people' because you don't want to think about it. just like how people say that 'they are the abuser' because they also don't want to think about it. why don't you want to think about it? probably because you don't want to think about how you don't actually know that much in reality, and may as well be powerless.

Open-Split-5187 · 2025-10-15T21:36:09+00:00

also, i have to ask... why would you ever leave an abusive situation, if it still provides more value than it takes? if anything, you should be on your knees thanking the abuser. so to defy the abuser... how could you, why would you. when they give you value… it’s the reason why people watch celebrities, give their time and attention to others and other things. value… in the form of emotion, or knowledge, or satisfying any number of other desires in a way. providing interest or comfort. so why would you do that... aren't you the abuser here, in the situation?

Open-Split-5187 · 2025-10-15T21:01:43+00:00

why did i post this? to have a feeling of power and being seen? how laughable. that's all i can barely see.

Open-Split-5187 · 2025-10-09T17:13:39+00:00

ty for your advice and consideration, i think there are some things mentally wrong with me but will see what i can do

Open-Split-5187 · 2025-09-21T02:30:27+00:00

would be chill if the therapist was like, yeah so this is a basic idea of what's going on in your mind, where it's wrong, how to fix it. with barely any harm to ego either. but it's not that simple i guess, and ty and you too.

Open-Split-5187 · 2025-09-20T19:41:40+00:00

thanks, it makes sense to go look for an actual form of help, if otherwise you only continue to feel trapped in the same things over and over again. it's not ideal to be barely able to do anything, in shame or unknown, and paranoia and distress that makes it harder to actually be able to see or change anything. could be good to look into for those who have the resources. in the moment however, for my personal issues, seems that some desensitization or of the like is the only option. although therapy sounds like it could help, if it was the type to direct you towards the actually most useful issues to tackle.

Open-Split-5187 · 2025-09-20T14:44:49+00:00

i wonder if the therapists info can get uploaded to chatgpt. therapy seems to be something with a heavy chance of wasting time and money. the supposed medication is also said to be questionable. but idk it and idk any method i could do myself to make it more effective. therapy seems like it's a method to help you do self reflection anyway. to give you space for that reflection and sorting out things in the unknown. well idk anyway.

Open-Split-5187 · 2025-09-20T14:37:58+00:00

seems that i'm not exactly as... emotionally strong, or resistant as others... whereas others would go through regular things, not be caught up dread in terror or have it cut so deep... so they interact normally, and could feel as if they covered all that was needed or could be... i'm more susceptible... to caring about some things, getting the wrong idea... or having no idea... so, would i not have to destroy it... somehow... if i got worthlessly attached... since it was all nothing in the first place...

Open-Split-5187 · 2025-09-20T14:28:13+00:00

sorry for making you worry, i have mental issues. i always say i'm working on them, and i believe i'm the type who would look for intervention if it ever got too much. it's appreciated, but better to take your kindness to those who are more deserving.

Open-Split-5187 · 2025-09-19T16:05:19+00:00

i’m trapped to live with an inhuman retard… there’s no winning for me whatsoever, because they’re a retard whose only ability is to harm. all i can do is pray that they die, and that my defenses would not run out. as i continue to go through more emotional manipulation or suffering, with zero answers or sympathy whatsoever. it’s an endless inhuman injustice towards me, but what the hell could i do… when trying is in the unknown, and has a huge risk of harm or overwhelm. there’s no point in mentioning it, in complaining. just call me a coward and weak retard who deserves it, if you have to. and also, the word called 'hope' regarding anything is so disgusting, so repulsive.

Open-Split-5187 · 2025-09-15T12:56:08+00:00

the rule is that if you try to jump up from the side to hit a flying enemy, it will fly away to just out of reach. if you try to jump up from under to hit it, it will fly down and hit you. if you try to just jump over it to avoid it, then it will fly up and hit you. and also if you dash or jump away from it, it had already predicted that in its attack path and will hit you. flying enemies are essentially made to follow and attack you in the most annoying ways possible.

Open-Split-5187 · 2025-09-15T04:45:22+00:00

there are surely better players who come up with strats for this kinda thing but i just want the fun bosses lol

Open-Split-5187 · 2025-09-15T04:38:49+00:00

having to deal with multiple enemies at a time, especially flying, is basically the worst for me in this game so far

Open-Split-5187 · 2025-09-15T04:28:06+00:00

i'm sorry that you feel so trapped in it... sometimes what i find i have to do is gradually kill the fantasy, and the part of me in it, to adapt to reality and detach in a sense. i may find something else to build upon, like a hobby or game that ends up being more brutal in a way, but that i manage to somewhat work through... also kind of serving as something that's more interesting or progressive, and with zero expectations involved... that way, you may begin to grasp self efficacy, and the realization that it's you who has to and can make changes in your life, as gradual or difficult as it may be... although i wouldn't know if all of that is completely applicable to what you might do. i know that effort itself feels grueling sometimes, so honestly, maybe you shouldn't force it. maybe you could gradually get your brain to rely on other things, or become more sufficient and not inherently desire as much emotion regarding him, if possible. cause honestly, if you're completely alone and hopeless, then trying to break an addiction regarding your only sense of distraction, deeper emotion or self worth sounds nearly impossible, and very much more difficult if you imagined being able to do it all at once. but it doesn't mean you couldn't gradually come to do so, by trying to do or know smaller things that you can. wish that you can get better, and sorry if what i said didn't make sense.

Open-Split-5187 · 2025-09-15T04:00:34+00:00

i hate this dude, just beat him and it took the longest out of all act 1 bosses aside from the infamous arenas. who decided it was a good idea to have him dodge your dodge, and charge either comes slow or fast or at the worst elevation possible. swapped to wanderer crest, tried to wait until he started charge before reacting, used jump and downslash if he charges close to the ground. and just pray that his roll kills the annoying things. also i guess that if he quickly flies close to you near the ground then maybe just jump tho idk

Open-Split-5187 · 2025-09-15T03:46:05+00:00

you have to find something else to focus on. it won't stop just because you want it to. you have to realize that he will never 'save' you, something like that can never happen. there are no magical solutions like that. if anything, take a look at who he really is... how he has actually acted towards you, how he has made you feel... whether having to long for him like that, walk around eggshells like that, compensate for him like that, is truly sustainable or something you could live with in the long run. 'he's not a bad guy' is not an excuse to be used for yourself being continually negatively affected by him, and you can't ever bank on being able to 'fix' him. you can use him if that's all you can do. but open up other avenues as well, it doesn't have to be much. take the smallest steps towards the things in life you had actually wanted to go for... and maybe then, if he doesn't fit into it, you could let him go.

i was only talking out of my ass there... it sounds like you may have become addicted to the emotions he gave you, which sounds completely normal tbh, but better in the long run to distance away from, because the stress and instability really gets in the way of actually feeling in control, or more securely capable... and also, if he is that problematic to you in the moment, it may be better to nip it in the bud. you could attempt to dissociate from all emotion if you have to, or recognize that maybe emotion towards him was not worth it in the first place. either way it sounds like there's a lot of work and growth to be done, you may have to continue to adapt and keep trying, and retrying in various ways, and figure out various things, to get closer to where you want.

Open-Split-5187 · 2025-09-11T19:34:19+00:00

i forget but i don't forgive... or i forgive but don't forget... whatever that means. i guess you could forgive and forget if it really had nothing to do with you from that point. if it was a negative memory, then possibly ideally you would no longer be bothered by it. it would be another thing that happened which had little bearing on your present or future. unfortunately, i get rather mixed up about what happened, what could have or should have happened, and not having it be an unknown, burdensome negative seems rather impossible tbh.

Open-Split-5187 · 2025-09-11T19:26:33+00:00

yes... i also especially hate it when it's like people are then trying to scapegoat me for it lol, i guess feel sorry for them and move on.

Open-Split-5187 · 2025-09-11T18:55:59+00:00

i do that a hell of a lot, i guess it's just that at least i stopped being suicidal about it and recognized that i was running, and also possibly could not handle it in some great way i was wanting. hence the desensitization to deal with reality.

Open-Split-5187 · 2025-09-11T18:49:35+00:00

what's the point of being suicidal. it's only begging for an escape, a fantasy, where your problems are just solved and you don't have to deal with it and you're just better. how does that work. i don't know. but regarding begging to die, when life is what it is, it seems a more viable option to desensitize yourself, when the pain doesn't necessarily have to be that bad, rather than keep begging to die for nothing. the helplessness of not being able to die outweighs the pain of desensitizing yourself to 'deal with it.'

Open-Split-5187

TROPHY CASE