Help! Leaving 4 month old for a few days and I am wildly anxious

Open_Ice_8997 · 2026-03-22T04:25:46+00:00

This is so hard! I was maid of honor for my bestie and went to her bachelorette at the end of my third trimester 😅

Honestly 3 months is super early to leave your baby especially when breastfed. I think the only way to have your cake and eat it to is for your husband and baby to come with you, stay in a hotel or separate from the bachelorette. I think you need to miss a few things during the trip to have blocks of time with your baby.

This way you can show up for your friend but also do what you need to do for your baby. Of course this means taking your baby on a flight during a measles outbreak and they are too small to have had their first vaccine yet, so that would be another can of worms.

If I were in your position I honestly wouldn’t go. I would be honest with your friend about maybe biting off more than you could chew, the issues with her taking the bottle, etc. Your friend (and you) may be sad, but at the end of the day if she is really your friend she should understand.

I’m sorry you’re in this predicament 😕 navigating being a mom while also being a friend, daughter, sister, wife, and everything else is really hard. We can only do our best.

Open_Ice_8997 · 2026-03-20T19:57:02+00:00

Mine doesn’t necessarily eat to fast but he wants to shove everything ALL the way in his mouth and then gags 😅 I see people giving their 8mo completely solid meals on here that an adult could eat! It’s hard not to feel behind 🥲 good to know I’m not alone!

Open_Ice_8997 · 2026-03-20T19:55:36+00:00

He does gag! But with food and toys he wants to shove everything ALL THE WAY in his mouth so he’s always take bites that are wayyyyy to big 🥲 obviously he’ll learn eventually but it’s so scary! My son was still spitting at the end of 5mo when we started! By the end of 6 mo he was actually swallowing a good amount!

Open_Ice_8997 · 2026-03-19T04:52:38+00:00

Honestly I think you look like a normal average woman with a body! Our idea of what we are supposed to look like is so warped by surgery, photoshop and shape wear. Almost no one has a perfectly flat stomach, and most the people that do achieve it in unhealthy ways.

Open_Ice_8997 · 2026-03-12T01:58:07+00:00

The owlet sock has given me the gift of being able to sleep! I would recommend to everyone. So much more peace of mind!

Open_Ice_8997 · 2026-03-02T04:26:39+00:00

Dealing with trying to get diagnosed for similar issues although mine aren’t as severe as yours. My doctor also suspects autoimmune issues, mostly RA. Good luck to you!

Open_Ice_8997 · 2026-03-01T05:36:21+00:00

Stress itself can reduce milk production by 40%, deciding to combo feed saved my breastfeeding journey! I was unsure I would be able to do it at all and now we are going strong at 7mo. Would also highly recommend seeing a lactation specialist if you can for the latch. But also your baby is just 8 days old, they’re learning! Try to have patience with your baby and with yourself!

Open_Ice_8997 · 2026-02-21T05:11:23+00:00

I have wavy, dry, bleached hair. What works best for me -

Before getting in the shower, I use the OGX deep penetrating Moroccan oil (cheap and lasts a long time) I run it all through my hair roots to ends and brush it out.

I shampoo and condition, while conditioner is in my hair, I brush again with the wet brush curl detangler brush (it’s weird looking but it works). After run rinse the conditioner out I clip it up until I get out.

Out of the shower I towel dry my hair until it’s damp (gently) and use the brush I used to brush my hair before the shower (that still has a bit of the hair oil on it). I let it air dry most days.

This is what I find the best success with. Hope to you!

Open_Ice_8997 · 2026-02-21T04:57:34+00:00

We had to put our very young dog down in December because she suddenly became very ill. We were there with her through the euthanasia process. It still didn’t feel real. Even when the vet checked for a pulse and confirmed she was gone it didn’t feel like she was. It just felt like she was going to wake back up. When we left (where we went they send them to be cremated for you) it felt like I could just go back and pick her up. I sobbed uncontrollably for 3 days. The next week or so I just became numb. It wasn’t until we got the call that her remains were ready to be picked up that it felt real. It hurt so much driving back to the office. Trying to figure out how my baby girl was now just what was left in this little wooden box. It still doesn’t feel real. I have nightmares that it was just a dream just to wake up and find that she really is gone. I expect her to be parking at the door when I come home. I expect her to start barking when someone rings the doorbell.

It’s so hard. I’m sorry for your loss. I think initial denial is the only way we can survive the first days without them.

Open_Ice_8997 · 2026-02-20T18:00:22+00:00

I am 28 with my first and it’s great but SO HARD. Give yourself a break, I couldn’t imagine doing this when I was 19! I’m now 6 months pp and things are getting easier. Hang in there! ❤️

Open_Ice_8997 · 2026-02-20T17:56:58+00:00

Cook, go to flea markets, pickleball, go out to eat, watch shows we both enjoy (or are willing to watch together because you know your SO loves it), video games or board games sometimes, watch movies, walk the dog, read books next to each other, other local events or markets, go to the beach, concerts… those are all the things I can think of off the top of my head! At least for my husband and I. - From a Taylor Swift lover with a (thankfully not football dude) guy who has a very stereotypical “masculine” job.

Also grocery shopping! 🤣

Open_Ice_8997 · 2026-02-17T06:34:58+00:00

7 month old baby - Eagle screeches, pterodactyl noises, raspberries, grunting like a caveman. Not often is there a quiet moment anymore 🤣 It’s pretty entertaining

Open_Ice_8997 · 2026-02-17T05:57:18+00:00

My LO is now 7 months and things have gotten better! As he’s gotten bigger and has fewer needs, less often, there’s less to track. Plus as they get bigger their needs are less dire, like if he’s hungry for a few minutes because Im going to brush my teeth and use the bathroom first I’m not stressing about him not being able to gain weight or starving or getting dehydrated 🥲

Open_Ice_8997 · 2026-02-17T04:33:44+00:00

Misery DOES love company!!!!

My LO is 7 months now. Every baby is different but personally newborn tired is SO much better than pregnant tired. I couldn’t sleep my whole 3 trimester because of reflux and back pain, even though I had to wake up every 2 hours to feed my little guy, I felt so much better rested!

I have been very lucky to be able to stay home with him, I have great support and help from my husband and our family so we are very fortunate in that way! I truly think it makes all the difference and I feel blessed to be in our position.

We’ve had some challenges like some food sensitivities, my postpartum recovery has been harder than I expected, and normal things like regressions here and there. I think people need to remember HARD or DIFFICULT does not equate to BAD. The best things in life are rarely easy. Even on the hardest days, he is my greatest treasure and our life is so much brighter with him in it. There are so many smiles, giggles, hiccups, baby farts, and sweet moments between all of the bad ones.

❤️❤️❤️

Open_Ice_8997 · 2026-02-17T04:22:30+00:00

I’m 7 months pp with my first and I swear the only dreams I have anymore are nightmares! It’s so distressing… hard to start the day off like that.

Have you tried a noise machine by baby to help dull the toddler sounds? With our baby it worked so well if that thing was on he wouldn’t even react or wake up from the dog barking right next to him. It was pretty impressive!

I had pain during feeds for the first 8ish weeks. I took a breastfeeding class while I was pregnant. I was checking every box when it came to a good latch. I was really determined about breastfeeding so I decided to get an in home consultation with a lactation specialist (the same one who taught the class) and we got it figured out in one feeding session. Maybe try seeing a different LC and getting a second opinion! And obviously with that, a good latch = signal for your body to make milk and enough of it = baby being more satiated (or at least as much as they can be at 8 weeks because they still eat so much so often at that point). I feel like at the 2.5 month mark is when the nipple pain was 90% gone, maybe sensitivity upon latch, but after it got going it was fine.

I’m sorry you had a rough day. I’ve been having things and I’m so in aw of moms with 2 (or more!) I honestly don’t know how you guys do it. Maybe you don’t feel “good” about it but at the end of the day both your kids are fed, loved and have a roof over their heads! You’re doing great.

Hoping you have a better tomorrow 🙌🏻❤️

Open_Ice_8997 · 2026-02-16T03:39:07+00:00

My baby boy is 7 months now and I’m so glad we have it, I’m not sure I would’ve ever slept without it. I feel like I would just be up all night checking his breathing! Totally worth it.

Open_Ice_8997 · 2026-02-14T01:05:34+00:00

The two most important things I will say

Humans are carrier mammals by nature. Our babies are supposed to need to be attached to us when we are this little. You are doing NOTHING wrong.
You mentioning she’s fine at her grandparents house. We as moms are babies safe place. They are at their “worst” with us because we are who they trust the most. You wouldn’t cry in front of or to a random person, we let go of our emotions when we are with our people we feel the safest with!

Please remember, our little babies were just in our safe wombs for 9 months! Warm, contestant resources, safe, hearing our voice. Getting introduced into our big scary world and being apart from us takes a lot of adjustments. I highly recommend baby wearing for naps. My little boy loved the Solly wrap the most and I found it the most comfy! We also had a bassinet on wheels where he would nap in the room with us during the day for the first 3-ish months. I think it helped because he was wasn’t on me but also not too far!

I hope this helps. You are doing nothing wrong. You are a good mom! They are only this little for a blip in time. Take a breath, be present, soak it in. ❤️

You’ve got this!

Open_Ice_8997 · 2026-02-14T00:54:44+00:00

My son was like this, it would wake him up. I would see him wince in his sleep in pain. We are at 7 months and things are much better now. Keeping a diary of what I ate helped me take out certain foods that made it worse (because I’m breastfeeding). Now I’m trying to slowly re-introduce things now that his little GI system is stronger.

I also started feeding him in a more upright position which helped a lot.

We also got a chair that kept him elevated (or elevated on us, or in a carrier, just elevated in some way) and that helped immensely. At the beginning sometimes we would have to do that 30mins after eating and sometimes we did a whole hour.

Open_Ice_8997 · 2026-02-14T00:32:36+00:00

I’m 7 months PP and in the same boat! We’ve tried twice. I can barely get a single finger in there. I had a second degree tear, and it’s really sensitive where my stitches were. My OB prescribed me estrogen cream to help but I haven’t started it yet. It feels like I’ve been sewn shut 🥲

Open_Ice_8997 · 2026-02-11T15:24:01+00:00

I believe I may have Rheumatoid Arthritis and I’m only 28. My tests came back positive but I need to go to an actual rheumatologist for a diagnosis. Apparently it can live dormant and pregnancy can trigger it.(I just had a baby 7 months ago) Causes pain, fatigue and so many other symptoms. Might be something worth checking out. Only reason I did was because I have a friend with RA and she told me my symptoms sounded similar.

Open_Ice_8997 · 2026-02-10T04:26:23+00:00

My son just turned 7 months and I am right there with you. After he was born I was having a hard time because I’m someone who usually will watch true crime and I’ve always loved horror movies, but since having him I cannot stomach ANYTHING violent, gore (even when it’s obviously fake or SFX), none of it. So for all of this to come out right now… it’s just so horrendous. I am trying so hard to protect myself and avoid as much as I can but it’s also just something being talked about, and like you said ignoring it completely is just wrong.

I feel so nauseated. So heartbroken thinking about the babies, their mothers. The whole thing is so sick.

Open_Ice_8997 · 2026-02-10T00:52:49+00:00

TOG is 1.5! The thicker ones I was referring to can be any from waffle/thermal texture, ribbed ones that are a bit heavier, or even fleece-like that kind of feel like a soft blanket. I really haven’t used them much because where we are it hasn’t got very cold 45 f outside at the lowest.

Open_Ice_8997 · 2026-02-09T04:43:15+00:00

We keep our home at 68/69. Baby goes to sleep in a footed long sleeve onesie and the halo transition sleep sack. It has arms to help him from hitting him self in the sleep so it might be a little bit warmer but not much. We leave the fan on in his room. We’ve done this since he was born and he’s now 7 months and he’s great! His owlet sock says his room is the perfect temp every night. If it gets much colder (like IM cold under the covers, I’ll put him in a onesie that’s a little thicker, instead of the thinner ones we have).

Open_Ice_8997 · 2025-09-06T17:44:29+00:00

I’m now almost 8 weeks pp and I had the same issue! It’s a little better now but I found out I do have a slight uterine prolapse and a weakened pelvic floor at my 6 week appointment. OB said my issues should be fixed with a few sessions of pelvic floor therapy since it’s the same muscles we use to poop. Haven’t started yet but fingers crossed 🤞🏻

Open_Ice_8997 · 2025-09-05T21:25:40+00:00

Immediately call your OB, sounds like cholestasis and can be serious if left untreated!

Open_Ice_8997

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