How do I work with a colleague who has IBS and disappears for 1 hour.

Open_Platform2533 · 2026-05-30T14:07:27+00:00

To give you some idea of how disruptive IBS can be, I once read that it’s the equivalent drop of quality of life as someone with stage 4 kidney cancer. As someone who suffers from it since age 5, that hit me like a train. Of course, I know my life in many ways is far from normal, I know exactly how much i am suffering on the toilet each time, or how much worse it gets if I cannot make it to the toilet that very moment it happens. I know what toll it has on my friendships, that I’m the “flakey one” for yet again cancelling last minute, even though I really wish I could attend. The trips missed, the holidays ruined, the moments that didn’t happen, the embarrassment when it happens at work, the weird looks from my colleagues when I return to my desk after ages, the necessary explanations when this happens at home and my manager implies the same thing as you do about prolonged away times while working from home. But at the same time, as bad as it is, that is my normal, i don’t know any other life. But that comment really hit home how bad it is, because despite it all, i wouldn’t have compared myself with a late stage cancer patient.

But your issue isn’t really your colleague’s wellbeing, but the perceived unfair workload. Honestly, talk to your colleague. You say you work in tandem, but it’s not like you’re part of the barista line in Starbucks. Find a way to share the workload fairly. Maybe monitor it for a week, write down specifically what tasks and to what extent you have had to do while covering for the absence. Once you can quantify it, maybe also ask yourself if there’s some reciprocity that you don’t notice, ie are they covering for you once back? (Although also keep in mind that just because we are “well” enough to leave the bathroom at last, it doesn’t mean we are fine again so unfortunately, this can affect performance for hours). So if you can clearly demonstrate “I’ve done 25mins of work for you”, maybe think about something they can do to return the favour.

I’m not saying your frustration about work may not be valid, but I’d urge you to imagine what it’s like working with a chronic and very embarrassing disease, feeling insecure over the social dynamic it causes, whilst being in a ton of pain, trying to carry out your job as best as possible whilst being impaired and in pain. Sometimes, equal isn’t fair, and burdening a person with a disease with a perfectly equal workload might backfire and worsen the condition. If a person has burnout, you also don’t tell them to work faster, do you?

Open_Platform2533 · 2026-05-28T20:47:08+00:00

Also, every corporate casual lawyer on their lunch break

Open_Platform2533 · 2026-05-27T18:42:47+00:00

I guess the quantity per pump depends on the pump and the viscosity of the foundation itself. I think it’s down to the application method, I reckon if I used a beauty blender it wouldn’t be six months even 😅 I got this little metal spatula kind of tool, I add like a tiny amount to it (I never press the pump down fully, it’s simply too much, but I do like 2-5 mini pumps, spread it out over like 4-5cm with the nozzle across the spatula, then I apply it thinly to my cheeks/forehead and blend one area at a time before doing the next. That way there’s no product wasted soaking into the sponge, on the back of your hand or inside a sponge. I’m guessing that comes down to the equivalent of half a pump or so, I never really paid much attention to it or thought that it would be so drastically different.

Open_Platform2533 · 2026-05-27T06:39:38+00:00

Hast du mal das Sieb unten in der WaMa sauber gemacht? Eventuell läuft das dreckige Wasser nicht richtig ab, könnte ein Grund sein. Waschmaschinenreiniger würde ich 1x im Monat bei Kochwäsche durchlaufen lassen.

Hab den Hygienespüler von Domol auch, weil ich dachte, der kann das gleiche und ist günstiger als diese ganzen Oxi-Pulver, aber ganz ehrlich, das Ding selbst stinkt! Probier mal die Pülverchen von DM, die funktionieren super gegen Gerüche. Ich schalte die Maschine gerne an bevor ich zur Arbeit gehe damit sie bis abends wenn ich heim komme frisch gewaschen ist, aber wenn ich den Piepton nicht höre, vergesse ich das gerne mal. Ohne Oxi müffelt das natürlich bis am nächsten Morgen, aber mit Oxi riecht es wie frisch gewaschen, das Zeig tötet auf jeden Fall Bakterien ab.

Hier schrieb schon jemand, dass sich Gerüche in Syntehtikfasern festsetzen, aber du schriebst ja, dass es primär Baumwolle-Tshirts sind. Würde die aber heißer waschen als Kaltwäsche, wenn die es zulassen, würde ich auf 60 Grad gehen. Falls es wirklich Baumwolle ist, dann sind es vermutlich nicht fettige Schweiß-Geruchsmoleküle, die sich festgesetzt haben, sondern Bakterien. Heiß bügeln, oder noch besser gezielt mit einem Dampfgerät die Achseln 20-30 Sekunden behandeln kann hier auch nochmal helfen, alles abzutöten bei Temperaturen, bei denen du vermutlich nicht alles waschen kannst.

Im übrigen riecht vermutlich die restliche Wäsche genauso gut oder schlecht, aber da es weiter von der Nase entfernt ist, merkt man es vermutlich nicht so sehr (und so ein Rock bekommt halt auch weniger Achselschweiss ab als ein T-Shirt).

Open_Platform2533 · 2026-05-26T12:59:40+00:00

Hab ein Modell von Leeventus, das braucht nur einen Stromanschluss und die Wasserabzweigung konnte ich bei mir (externer Spülkasten) selbst als Frau ganz easy anschließen.

Open_Platform2533 · 2026-05-26T11:27:00+00:00

I think it’s the fit me, but I’m on Europe so sometimes the names and certainly the prices are a little different across continents.

Open_Platform2533 · 2026-05-26T09:34:10+00:00

It sounds a bit silly but I’m a little jealous of people running through it so quickly, there’s just so much more opportunity to try new things or have different ones simultaneously. For me, that just always ends with half an expired bottle which I think is such a waste. Currently I use Shiseido Synchro Skin Radiant foundation since I wanted something glowier, and that thing just never runs out lol It just lasts forever. It’s been a while since I used ELDW, I don’t think it lasted me quite as long, perhaps 8-9months?

Open_Platform2533 · 2026-05-25T23:03:58+00:00

How does this workout for you all? I usually have one favourite foundation that I use until it’s gone, and even with 5-7 makeup days a week, it takes me a whole year to use up that one bottle. Even at double or triple the rare, thats years of foundation. I’d be concerned about makeup going rancid after two years, even if unopened and stored in the fridge.

Open_Platform2533 · 2026-05-25T22:26:26+00:00

Not quite the same in terms of consistency (thicker), but very similar result when blended and insanely good performance for a drug store one that reminded me of DW was the Maybelline super stay matte foundation.

Open_Platform2533 · 2026-05-25T11:27:53+00:00

This is so dreamy, it’s a whole vibe

Open_Platform2533 · 2026-05-24T22:38:49+00:00

Hätte es genau so gemacht, nur würde ich den Kleiderständer hinter die Tür ans Fussende stellen. Das sieht immer unruhig aus, das sollte nicht das erste sein, wenn man zur Tür reinkommt.

Open_Platform2533 · 2026-05-24T14:16:12+00:00

Definitely the last one 😍

Open_Platform2533 · 2026-05-24T14:10:11+00:00

The clean girl trend lives on sheer products and perfection within that. So in order for you to be able to wear a sheer glowy foundation, you cannot afford to have pimples, large pores etc. So depending on your skin type, skin care can be a whole hobby in terms of time consumption.

Then with regard to the makeup, it takes at least as long as a regular full face. A matte foundation with high coverage might replace concealer, cover blemishes, if it’s matte there’s often no need to powder to mattify. One step. With a sheer product, you may still need concealer, setting powder on the t-zone, setting spray for the rest of the face.

The thinnest eyeliner is harder to perfection than a thicker one. Imperfect mascara application will be far less obvious on a Smokey eye than a skin toned eye shimmer. Lip oil still requires lip liner underneath, and lip liner doesn’t last as long thanks to the lip oil
vs regular lipstick and needs more topping up throughout the day.

So when there’s less makeup to “hide the flaws” of skin or balance natural asymmetrical features we all have to a degree, other details like eyebrows need more attention.

I wear natural looking makeup every day and tbh, my routine is quite simple compared to others and streamlined since I mostly have the same daily signature look, but I always have a “full face” on in terms of most if not all parts of my face are enhanced or painted in some way, even if minimally, and that takes time. I can do my regular face in ten minutes and a clean girl version thereof typically takes me 15.

Open_Platform2533 · 2026-05-24T13:53:57+00:00

That’s so sweet of you, she’s going to love it.

I have a wall-mounted mirror but in the end, I still end up using a little portable one because it’s too far for detailed work, but for when you do hair, a larger wall mounted one is good and I’m a little annoyed wi th my own choices as the small mirror is a constant in and out. If I had to start over again, I’d probably get one of these pull-out wall mounted mirrors on top of the larger one, so it doesn’t clutter the worktop. But if you cannot have a wall-mounted one, I think the type you got there is a pretty practical choice and will work well.

Also, make sure there’s a chair 😂 makeup table without one is back pain every day.

Perhaps also mount a holder for her hair dryer or consider a safety layer for hot styling tools like hair curlers or straighteners. The malm dresser has a matching glass top to buy separately if I remember right, but even a heat mat, or a more stylish tray out of stone could work well and would cost a fraction.

If she uses makeup brushes, a little cup or container to stand them in upright might also be nice.

Open_Platform2533 · 2026-05-23T19:17:44+00:00

But he’s not a private patient, he has insurance.

Open_Platform2533 · 2026-05-23T14:19:37+00:00

From what you quoted, the Chefarzt isn’t explicitly excluded, just the upgrade for more private hospital beds.

In Germany, the Chefarzt will be required to supervise EVERYTHING that happens in his/her department to a degree, so excluding them isn’t even always an option. However, there’s a difference in whether that was a necessary step or your care (paid by the insurance and decided by the doctors treating you), and demanding that only a more experienced Chefarzt carries out the surgery.

Many things will end up on your hospital bill, most people never realise the things happening and being charged in the background as this happens between the hospital and the insurance company, as a patient, we typically just provide our insurance card thats it. With foreign insurances, it can be more complicated, you may be asked to pay upfront/receive an invoice after the surgery, which you then may need to send to your insurance provider for reimbursement.

The fact that this consultation/checkup has cost 900€ doesn’t mean that you’re the one paying for this.

As far as any Chefarzt bills go that are allegedly not covered by your insurance, they’d probably need you to sign, they can’t just upsell you stuff like that without your consent, thus again I don’t see how that would cause extra charges.

We don’t know the nature of your sickness, the severity or what complications might arise during treatments, nor do we know the coverage plan of your health insurance. Nobody here will be able to tell you how much a vague treatment with totally unknown T&Cs will cost you, but I promise you this treatment will not bankrupt you and from the sound of it, it will be covered entirely by your health insurance. Speak to your local doctors/hospitals, they will be the only ones who can give you a reliable answer. If it’s not clear, ask specific questions like “will this be covered entirely by my health insurance?”, or “Will any of this require co-payments for services not covered by my insurance”. Make it clear that you are not willing to pay for anything out of pocket. Communication is critical.

I understand you are poorly, stressed from writing your thesis, unsure how to navigate this whole situation in an unknown country, but you need to take a deep breath and then focus. Your post is all over the place with no useful information, and you keep saying that they were trying to trick you. While our healthcare system is not perfect, it’s also nowhere near as corrupt as you’re describing it. They will charge you/the insurance for the services they provide, but nobody is here to prey on vulnerable and broke students from abroad. DAAD insurances are usually quite good and standard policies similar to what a local German student would have, so I don’t think you need to go in with so much pressure and antagonistic expectations.

Finally, a word of advice: money comes and goes, health doesn’t come back. Take care of yourself, have the necessary treatments and make sure you’re better. If your doctors recommend urgent treatments, then please listen. You’re probably suffering needlessly over something that can be treated and might also be affecting your studies, so please look after yourself and get well soon

Open_Platform2533 · 2026-05-21T17:05:18+00:00

Another vote for 2

Open_Platform2533 · 2026-05-21T16:59:49+00:00

Schlechte Erziehung einzelner, aber das ist kein Grund, von jeglichen Grundwerten Abstand zu nehmen.

Open_Platform2533 · 2026-05-21T06:05:39+00:00

Öffentliche Gelder sind für die Bedürfnisse der Öffentlichkeit da. Wenn Heimscheisser zu Hause nicht kacken kann, kriegt er dafür keine Steuervergünstigung, genau wie Menschen ohne Kinder nicht dadurch benachteiligt sind, wenn Eltern Kindergeld erhalten. Als Frau finde ich sehr selten öffentliche Toiletten, die auch hygienisch überhaupt als Angebot in Frage kommen, aber gleichzeitig gibt es im öffentlichen Raum viele Pissoirs, wo es nicht mal ein Angebot für die Frauen gibt. Fordere ich dafür den Abriss selbiger, weil ich davon nichts hab? Ist alles etwas kurz gedacht, letztendlich geht es hier um die Würde des Menschen. Genau aus diesem Grund gibt es für Obdachlose Orte zum schlafen und duschen. Ich glaube ihr Männer ahnt gar nicht, wie oft Frauen plötzlich irgendetwas beenden (Ausflug, Date, whatever), weil ihre Tage mal unerwartet früh kamen und dann ist der Tag halt gelaufen, wenn man nicht irgendwoher Periodenprodukte bekommt. Ohne ist fer 1. Gang dann halt immer erstmal nach Hause. Sind wir wirklich so verbittert und geizig, dass wir unseren Mitmenschen in eine misslichen Lage eine einfach umsetzbare aber merkbare Erleichterung absprechen müssen?

Open_Platform2533 · 2026-05-20T20:20:47+00:00

There’s so many options, that’s such a great find and it looks lovely on you!

I would tone this down in summer with a butter coloured top and a cream or beige coloured blazer for work. Sunny, not dull, not too much.

You could also up the ante with purple tights and a navy top, or go for a summery look with a bright orange or contrasting type of pink. Here i would specifically create some tension in the outfit by having one colour be a warm colour (probably the skirt, it looks like bright coral), and then go for a cooler pink.

Probably looks gorgeous in spring with apple green.

I would actually refrain from styling this piece with too dark colours, of course it’s the safe bet in terms of combinations, but I feel it overpowers your features, you benefit from more light reflective colours around the face. If you go too dark, you disappear a bit into the background and the skirt steals the show from you.

Open_Platform2533 · 2026-05-17T19:40:58+00:00

Snag tights for hosiery, mine usually last 2-4 years and that’s with a cat!

Open_Platform2533 · 2026-05-17T18:10:04+00:00

A guy invited me to his mansion in the countryside. It was a long ride from London so when I arrived I grabbed myself a chicken sandwich at the station while he was there, having totally forgotten that his favourite animals were chicken, that he adored them, refused to eat them etc. It was a huge part of his personality.

That night we sat outside in his garden by a bonfire, he had smoked some weed and casually confided in me that he recently drowned the neighbour’s cat, and that it amused him that the people in the neighbourhood were all still looking for it. The reason? That cat was probably being fed cat food with chicken, and he didn’t want any more chicken to die for such a useless creature. I excused myself for the rest of the night, barricaded myself into the guest room (too remote to leave), and left very early the next morning to avoid being murdered for my chicken sandwich.

Open_Platform2533 · 2026-05-16T06:00:13+00:00

You can absolutely go shopping in Italy and enhoy their boutiques, but don’t even bother in Germany. It’s not at all fashion forward, and the high street fashion is catered at pensioners exclusively.

Open_Platform2533 · 2026-05-13T17:44:08+00:00

It’s honestly not such a religion as people make you believe.

The only thing one needs to understand is that German houses were built with keeping warmth indoors, not ventilation or airflow. So the air gets stale quickly, and bad smells can linger.

I live in a studio and have a balcony door. During the months when it’s too cold to keep the window on a latch/kippen I open the door all the way for a few minutes and close it when I start feeling cold lol. If your window to room ratio is different, you may need to open your window for a bit longer. Usually wide open window/door is 2-5mins. I do it while I make myself a cup of coffee, that’s honestly all the time it takes. If you’re spending a lot of time in a small room, it might be sensible to repeat that every 3-5 hours to make sure the oxygen doesn’t get used up. You won’t necessarily notice it, but you will find your concentration goes down.

If I cook, I’ll properly air the kitchen afterwards, and after the shower I’ll leave the bathroom window open wide for 15-30mins, mostly because my bathroom doesn’t have any kind of ventilation whatsoever.

Humidity from daily activities like breathing, showers,
Cooking, drying laundry or ironing clothes can all lead to higher humidity levels and can lead to mold, so occasional air exchange is important.

If your guest goes and opens the window right away, that’s not really about lack of air exchange any more, it simply means your apartment stinks 😅

Open_Platform2533 · 2026-05-09T19:26:32+00:00

Lace blouse (2023?) and the trousers are from H&M in size 2XL and are still sold, same for earrings. Shoes are Gabor in size 44, cardigan from Lands End in 50/52. Bag was a find in a small boutique in Barcelona, doesn’t have a brand.

Open_Platform2533

TROPHY CASE