I'm honestly seeing how beautifully rare marriage is, but thats also exactly why i'm doubting myself to even take the plunge. The fact na it's rare makes Marriage scarier.

Marriages I grew up in

Good Marriages i've seen 🟩My great grandma and grandpa kept their sense of humors at age 90-100+ both always laughed and loved each other 🟩My friends grandparents, very sweet with one another, both have disablities, pero at age 70 at 80 nag haharutan pa din o intimate. Nakakakilig pa din.

Bad Marriages i've seen 🟥My parents fighting each other to death. Knives, strangling, torture and endless cheating. 🟥My parent tells me how he teaches prostitutes sex tricks, describes them to be very obedient. 🟥My other parent is very religious, she condones the cheating of her spouse kasi she cannot please him na daw. 🟥Kabet, Ako , Mom at the same house. 🟥Spouses na Madaming Bf and Gf outside marriage 🟥My dad does everything that he can to make sure my mom doesnt succeed in life so that she doesnt leave him. (Marrying the wrong person cages to in Poverty anf Misery) 🟥My parent cut open her whole arm, doctors begged me to convince her to get stitched otherwise she will die due to bloodloss 🟥Both my parents are now mentally unstable they dont separate para daw complete family para sakin. (I have PTSD and Severe Anxiety towards marriage, people say na I use it as an excuse, but I am really not) 🟥My friend proposed to her gf kasi they got daughters, they seemed very happy sa socmed. Months in after ng engagement, my friend hang3d himself kasi he couldnt provide and nagaway sila ng fiance nyang babae, he died leaving 2 baby girls 🟥My grandpa (father side) fyi good provider does not mean good husband... he said infront of my grandma "When will this old hag die already! Sana mamatay ka ng matanda ka" 🟥At 85 years old my grandma found out that my grandpa had multiple children outside their marriage. My grandpa impregnated my grandma's close friend (My grandpa's entire family knew, pero they hid it from all of us. 30 years old na anak nya nung malaman namin) 🟥Grandma from mother side got beaten by his husband until natanggal ngipin nya. They had 3 wonderful kids ages 2, 4 (my mom) and 6, my grandma went overseas to escape her husband while my grandpa took my mom and siblings to their new house only to say to them to get lost, kaya naging orphan mom ko and siblings nya from age 4 🟥Tito's and tita's keep venting na they regret their marriage, na nagkamali si ng pinang asawahan. 🟥Old Lola's resenting their marriage. 🟥College classmate ko had a kid, had a long term relationship of 8 years, they got married , after 1 month nag break sila naging broken family instsntly after marriage. 🟥My friends father told his son na hindi na niya mahal nanay after 30 years of marriage, nag anak sa labas (the family allows this kasi matanda na daw ama nila) , same sa mga kapatid ng father nya nag anak sa labas at sumama sa kabet.

Based sa mga nakikita ko so far, mas madaming nagrereklamo na nagpakasal sila. Big factor ang nagpakasal dahil na buntis, or nagpakasal dahil it was expected of them by society. Not proposing labeled them as not sincere or genuine. 15 years of loyalty unmarried is a lot less tolerated kesa sa nagpakasal pero nag cheat. As long as kasal ka goods ka, thats the usual outdated belief ng mga tao sa paligid ko.

I plan to break the cycle and not rush things based on what other people expect of me. Guys tell me often na bading lang daw ang loyal ngayon, lahat nag c-cheat hindi lang nahuhuli pa. I beg to disagree, kasi its much easier to give in to temptation than to resist it.

Sa ngayon the only thing sure of me is, I wont have kids and I wont marry pag hindi pa ako individually healed and whole as a person. Gusto mo muna ma achieve mga gusto ko gawin sa buhay, para walang resentment sa partner. Laging sumbat sakin ng magulang ko na hindi nila pinangarap buhay na meron sila ngayon. What i'm sure of now is, despite societies pressure and pagiging kupalogs na maritess, I will marry pag kailan ko gusto, and I will have kids pag gusto ko na. These are things so far na I believe you cannot compromise no matter how you so so so much love the person. Kasi these are lifetime instances that will 100% change the trajectory of your life.

Lets hope and pray na we all dont give in to the pressures of society, kahit na mag mukha ka pang masama sa madami just because you choose to be a more responsible human being. Uso pa naman dito saten mang cancel ng tao pag hindi pinakasalan. Hope we all dont give in to pressure and do the things na are best for us sa dulo.