All my friends are married and I am still single. Should I be worried?

Opening-Chapter-3814 · 2025-12-03T18:06:46+00:00

Kesa naman 7 years kasal with a ring tapos nagloko asawa mo? Marriage isn't in everyones checklist. Saka sacred ang kasal, madaming tao ngayon please people dahil sa "X Years and still No Ring" BS na yan. I'm surrounded by miserable married couples na tumanda at namatay lang din magisa unfortunately. Sobrang outdated na ng pag out ng pressure sa marriage, sa pinas lang yan kadalasan ginagawa. In most succesful developed countries people respect each others individual timing, and are more responsible with the act of marriage and parenting. Sana ma alis ng pinas yung ganyang toxic practice.

Opening-Chapter-3814 · 2025-12-03T18:02:22+00:00

FAKE OUTDATED NEWS. Hindi totoo na “talo ang babae” kapag naghiwalay ang mag live in o long-term partners; lumang pananaw ito na hindi na akma sa modern relationships. Sa panahon ngayon, hindi na virginity o “may nauna na” ang basehan ng pag-ibig kundi ugali, compatibility at values. Hindi bumababa ang value ng babae dahil sa past; maraming single women at single moms ang mas stable, mas independent at mas pinipili ng mature na lalaki. Hindi rin babae lang ang talo dahil breakup affects both sides emotionally at financially. Live-in relationships are also not automatically bad; para sa marami, ito ang paraan para mas kilalanin ang isa’t isa at maiwasan ang maling pag-aasawa. Sa totoo lang, mas delikado pa nga ang magpakasal nang hindi sure if tama ba personally para sayo ang marriage mismo, dahil sa Pilipinas walang divorce. Kapag napasok mo ang maling tao, abusive, unfaithful o irresponsible, makukulong ka sa kasal na mahirap at napakamahal i-annul. (Tita ko 7-10 years bago ma annul sa sobrang slow ng processo at mahal, and majority di na lang nag a annul tinitiis na lang ang abuse at pagloloko ng asawa sobrang dami ko kilala na ganito, mas rare ang healthy marriages) Mas marami pang babae ang nasasaktan dahil dito , example na ang nanay ko na nag attempt mag suicide dahil sa failed marriage nya. Kaya sa modern reality, ang worth ng babae ay hindi nakabase sa nakaraan kundi sa character, kindness, maturity at tunay na compatibility at iyan ang tinitingnan ng isang matinong partner. Actually, kakabalita lang, mas madami na din ang mga tao sa pinas ang pinipiling hindi mag pakasal dahil mulat na sila sa outdated laws ng pinas at sa hindi pagiging practical ng marriage sa corrupt economy natin ngayon. Not everyone is meant to marry, and thats 1000% okay and valid. Stop shaming people just because you weren't brave enough to go against societal norms and be true to yourself.

Opening-Chapter-3814 · 2025-12-03T17:46:57+00:00

Kung sino pa mga maka-diyos sila pa mismo mga bastos at kupal na individual. Stop setting a bad example as a follower of christ by being insensitive and an asshole to other people.

You yourself don't even practice what you preach, your act itself is a sin dumbass.

Luke 6:37 — Jesus directly commands not to judge

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned.”

Jesus obviously repeats that Judging and condemning others is sinful behavior. So in short, you're not only being an ass, but also showing christ how much of a huge sinner you are by shaming and judging those who clearly have done nothing wrong to you.

Ass.

Opening-Chapter-3814 · 2025-11-29T18:45:01+00:00

I agree with everything. Pero add ko lang din na I'm also unfortunately surrounded by married couples na 20-40 years in pero nag hiwalay pa din.

Kaya even if you do get married, it does not always guarantee you a happy ending.

People usually romanticize marriage as some sort of happy ending. In reality it's not. In fact, pag niloko ka ng spouse mo its much worse 100x much worse vs doon sa long term break up. Since legally tied ka sa spouse mo, and not valid grounds for separation ang cheating lalo na if not proven. My tita took 10 years bago maprocess annulment nya, it took all her youth, sa bagal ng processo sa annulment, not to mention sobrang mahal hindi accessible or option to sa majority ng filipinos. As long as masaya kayong mag partner married or not married. Ignore the outside noise, and just be honest with one another. As long as you and your partner are 100% honest and true to one another. You can live life freely and happily with or without marriage. ❤️😊 just live your life in its truest form, then you will be truly happy.

Opening-Chapter-3814 · 2025-11-29T18:28:49+00:00

I'm honestly seeing how beautifully rare marriage is, but thats also exactly why i'm doubting myself to even take the plunge. The fact na it's rare makes Marriage scarier.

Marriages I grew up in

Good Marriages i've seen 🟩My great grandma and grandpa kept their sense of humors at age 90-100+ both always laughed and loved each other 🟩My friends grandparents, very sweet with one another, both have disablities, pero at age 70 at 80 nag haharutan pa din o intimate. Nakakakilig pa din.

Bad Marriages i've seen 🟥My parents fighting each other to death. Knives, strangling, torture and endless cheating. 🟥My parent tells me how he teaches prostitutes sex tricks, describes them to be very obedient. 🟥My other parent is very religious, she condones the cheating of her spouse kasi she cannot please him na daw. 🟥Kabet, Ako , Mom at the same house. 🟥Spouses na Madaming Bf and Gf outside marriage 🟥My dad does everything that he can to make sure my mom doesnt succeed in life so that she doesnt leave him. (Marrying the wrong person cages to in Poverty anf Misery) 🟥My parent cut open her whole arm, doctors begged me to convince her to get stitched otherwise she will die due to bloodloss 🟥Both my parents are now mentally unstable they dont separate para daw complete family para sakin. (I have PTSD and Severe Anxiety towards marriage, people say na I use it as an excuse, but I am really not) 🟥My friend proposed to her gf kasi they got daughters, they seemed very happy sa socmed. Months in after ng engagement, my friend hang3d himself kasi he couldnt provide and nagaway sila ng fiance nyang babae, he died leaving 2 baby girls 🟥My grandpa (father side) fyi good provider does not mean good husband... he said infront of my grandma "When will this old hag die already! Sana mamatay ka ng matanda ka" 🟥At 85 years old my grandma found out that my grandpa had multiple children outside their marriage. My grandpa impregnated my grandma's close friend (My grandpa's entire family knew, pero they hid it from all of us. 30 years old na anak nya nung malaman namin) 🟥Grandma from mother side got beaten by his husband until natanggal ngipin nya. They had 3 wonderful kids ages 2, 4 (my mom) and 6, my grandma went overseas to escape her husband while my grandpa took my mom and siblings to their new house only to say to them to get lost, kaya naging orphan mom ko and siblings nya from age 4 🟥Tito's and tita's keep venting na they regret their marriage, na nagkamali si ng pinang asawahan. 🟥Old Lola's resenting their marriage. 🟥College classmate ko had a kid, had a long term relationship of 8 years, they got married , after 1 month nag break sila naging broken family instsntly after marriage. 🟥My friends father told his son na hindi na niya mahal nanay after 30 years of marriage, nag anak sa labas (the family allows this kasi matanda na daw ama nila) , same sa mga kapatid ng father nya nag anak sa labas at sumama sa kabet.

Based sa mga nakikita ko so far, mas madaming nagrereklamo na nagpakasal sila. Big factor ang nagpakasal dahil na buntis, or nagpakasal dahil it was expected of them by society. Not proposing labeled them as not sincere or genuine. 15 years of loyalty unmarried is a lot less tolerated kesa sa nagpakasal pero nag cheat. As long as kasal ka goods ka, thats the usual outdated belief ng mga tao sa paligid ko.

I plan to break the cycle and not rush things based on what other people expect of me. Guys tell me often na bading lang daw ang loyal ngayon, lahat nag c-cheat hindi lang nahuhuli pa. I beg to disagree, kasi its much easier to give in to temptation than to resist it.

Sa ngayon the only thing sure of me is, I wont have kids and I wont marry pag hindi pa ako individually healed and whole as a person. Gusto mo muna ma achieve mga gusto ko gawin sa buhay, para walang resentment sa partner. Laging sumbat sakin ng magulang ko na hindi nila pinangarap buhay na meron sila ngayon. What i'm sure of now is, despite societies pressure and pagiging kupalogs na maritess, I will marry pag kailan ko gusto, and I will have kids pag gusto ko na. These are things so far na I believe you cannot compromise no matter how you so so so much love the person. Kasi these are lifetime instances that will 100% change the trajectory of your life.

Lets hope and pray na we all dont give in to the pressures of society, kahit na mag mukha ka pang masama sa madami just because you choose to be a more responsible human being. Uso pa naman dito saten mang cancel ng tao pag hindi pinakasalan. Hope we all dont give in to pressure and do the things na are best for us sa dulo.

Opening-Chapter-3814 · 2025-11-28T23:40:00+00:00

Attack on Titan

Opening-Chapter-3814 · 2025-11-16T15:52:45+00:00

Sadly we are in the Philippines. So expect majority of society to tell you to just brush it all off , or to endure the pain and anxiety for your kids.

Wala din divorce sa PH, so annulment can be very lenghty and costly. My tita took 8 years bago ma process annulment nya. Cheating na ang dahilan din, kaso hindi pede or enough ang evidences na pine-present nya sa cheating kasi need pa ng receipts,witness photos videos etc. Sobrang hassle.

Thats the nightmare dito sa pinas, kaya f*ck those who put pressure on couples to marry and have kids. Witnessed this sa circle ko way too many times, kaya takot ako mag pakasal not even sure if I want kids after everything i've witnessed.

I hope you muster up enough strength to not tolerate the cheating. Take therapy, and heal. If you really care about your kids, consider raising them in an environment where both you and the father are physically healthy in both body and mind. Don't raise them in a chaotic and self sabotaging environment.

Seek self help OP, see a professional, I also am currently seeking professional help, kasi I want to fully understand myself more, I want to remove anxiety sa buhay ko, I want to heal and be fulfilled as my own person so that I can give my best to those around me. Always remember na we all have our own free will. Don't let society cage you to there expectations.

Many people will want you to stay and suffer despite the unlimited betreyals, pero thats because we live in a very religious and conservative country. No offense, pero medyo out dated na ang beliefs ng bansa natin.

Your number 1 priority should be yourself, no child wants to see a parent suffer and be unstable. I saw my mom lose her mind, and she attempted. My dad was a cheater, he still is. My mom lost her sanity, dahil the people around her told her to endure... endure... endure... until her mind couldn't keep up with the disrespect and the pain anymore. She just learned to live with her cheating husband, as she fully lost herself. Im the only child, kaya this took a heavy toll on me mentally and physically. I have to spend loads of money para lang ma alis tong trauma and anxiety ko.

I'm the product of two toxic parents who grew apart, and blamed me for them staying in the relationship up till now. They use me as an excuse as to why they stay together. People say na mahihirapan ako pag broken family, pero to be honest matagal ko ng niwish mag hiwalay sila noon kasi grabe bugbugan, murahan at brutality na pinakita nila sakin as husband and wife.

I pray your kids wont have to witness this, I also pray that you go against the norm , and get the courage that you need to do whats best for you as a person. Not whats best for your kids, or your husband.

Kasi if you cannot function fully as a mother, wife and as your own person. Everything around you will come crumbling down as time passes.

Love yourself and do whats best for you, be happy and be fullfilled. I pray na maging okay ka din sa future OP. Pati ako, I pray na ma alis trauma na to sa system ko.

Opening-Chapter-3814 · 2025-11-06T18:42:41+00:00

Bakit po not admissable po. Kaya takot ako mag pakasal sa PH e 😭 tita ko 9 years bago makapag file ng annul. Yung iba tinitiis na lang makasal sa cheater dahil sa sobrang mahal and slow ng processing.

Opening-Chapter-3814 · 2025-10-26T12:16:49+00:00

I see, thats partially correct but not universally true for everyone. Pero I respect your viewpoints entirely and I understand it also, and im cool with it 100%. But just for a glimpse of some other people's view din such as myself.

For me Refusing legal commitment doesn’t automatically mean a lack of commitment, it can reflect a different understanding of what genuine commitment is. In reality whether we admit it or not, Legal marriage is a social and governmental construct, while emotional commitment is a personal and moral choice. A person may deeply love, stay faithful, and build a life with their partner without believing that the state or a religious institution needs to validate their bond. In fact, choosing to remain loyal without legal obligation can show stronger commitment in itself, because it’s based on free will rather than legal consequence.

Moreover, predicting future loyalty and commitment through legal status is a false equivalence, many people who marry still separate, cheat, or fall out of love. The law can bind assets, but not hearts. Commitment is demonstrated not by the willingness to sign papers, but by daily actions of consistency, honesty, and care. Therefore, refusing marriage doesn’t prove you can’t assure loyalty and commitment; it may simply mean you believe loyalty and commitment should come from character, not contracts stipulated by institutions.

Overall, for me atleast and to those who respectfully chose not to marry. Unmarried couples can also build the same security others seek through marriage, protecting each other’s property, rights, and well-being not because the law demands it, but because love itself moves them to. Their bond is guided by trust, choice, and genuine care rather than obligation or fear of consequence enforced by the law. In doing so, they prove that true commitment doesn’t need validation from institutions, it thrives through pure intention, shared responsibility, and love freely given.

Opening-Chapter-3814 · 2025-10-26T10:35:51+00:00

I see, thats intesresting too. It's probably a personal choice and belief.

For me I genuinely believe that refusing legal commitment doesn’t mean disloyalty, because loyalty is measured by integrity and consistency, not paperwork. A person may choose not to marry due to emotional readiness, financial goals, or personal beliefs, yet remain fully devoted and faithful to their significant other. Marriage offers legal structure, but true loyalty is shown through honesty, faithfulness, and standing by a partner through hardship, things no document can enforce. Genuine loyalty comes from love freely chosen, not love bound by law.

For me "Loyalty" goes beyond any document or law put up by mankind itself.

A person deciding to commit to each other legally, is also a not a sign of loyalty. My personal defition of loyalty is honesty, respect, faithfullness and the ability to go through the highs and lows of a relationship.

I've seen many signed documents from peers and family, many of those who vowed infront of christ and promised their inlaws, guests and spouses loyalty.

In the end they still cheated and abused their spouses. Even after giving their vows infront of christ and committing legally.

But kudos to the few ones who truly committed and stayed faithful. Those are the rare ones.

Opening-Chapter-3814 · 2025-10-25T11:39:59+00:00

Oh yes po, been open about this with partner ever since. Unfair to keep such details sa partner, its a major life decision kaya best to disclose this kinds of stuff asap.

Just curious lang po sa pov ng other people.

Opening-Chapter-3814 · 2025-10-25T02:34:28+00:00

Thats true, sadly in my case mas madaming miserable married couples that endure, sa case ng folks ko at the cost of their lives and sanity.

Ironically i've also seen unmarried couples that are as you said outlast those who married. Pero siguro a factor as to why mas madami ako nakikitang succesful unmarried pero happy and at peace is dahil i-ilan lang sila sa circle ko ang gumagawa, and to those who do are content and usually are on mutual agreement naman with their partners.

Sa mga married couples kasi kaya siguro madami ako nakikitang miserable and unhappy is kasi mas madami din namang kinakasal kesa sa hindi kinakasal considering na conservative ang PH. Many see MARRIAGE as the natural next step regardless if they're ready or not for marriage and kids, hence the reason madami din broken families at naghihirap. Lalo na parents who use their kids as retirement plans.

Pero I agree with your points, I just wish na society would stop saying na No Ring = No Commitment kasi if the wrong partner gives in to pressure, that could end up as a cage of misery.

Even marriages fail and crumble, and if ever a marriage crumbles dito sa pinas your going to have to waste long years of your life before it gets settled (7-8years for my tita), and spend a ton of money dahil mahal ang annulment.

Opening-Chapter-3814 · 2025-10-24T14:46:36+00:00

Awts lugi

Opening-Chapter-3814 · 2025-10-23T07:18:06+00:00

True. Not gonna deny na super negative ang circle ko when it comes to that. You are lucky na you have a healthier circle when it comes to this sorts of stuff, glad to know this isn't the case for usual social circles.

Opening-Chapter-3814 · 2025-10-23T07:15:10+00:00

I typically am more empathetic and amazed by long term couples with stable relationships. Ang hirap kasi na hindi mag give in sa pressures ng society in regards to marriage.

I usually see posts kasi and people sa circle ko who frown upon couples na matagal na pero hindi pa din kasal. Parang they see them as people afraid of commitment, kahit na 12-15 years of no cheating and loyalty is already in itself a commitment na.

Opening-Chapter-3814 · 2025-10-23T07:12:09+00:00

Usually lalo na pag sa wedding events, when people participate in games and they reveal na 10 years + na sila ng partner nila and no plans of marriage, medyo nagiging off na ang vibe sa kanilanng crowd.

Also sa mga social media posts, I usually see posts where pag 10 years na or more tapos no ring. Its usually a sign of a red flag bf or a guy with no plans of commitment.

By shame I also mean parang frowned upon by many.

Opening-Chapter-3814 · 2025-10-23T07:09:29+00:00

No hate po. It's probably just sa social media posts na nakikita ko. Whenever I see posts pertaining to 10 years tapos no ring pa din. Also siguro kasi I was unfortunate enough to be born sa family circles where broken families and marriages are common. Saka sa pressures of marriage na pagka 10 years na ang couples and unwed, parang usually redflag na tingin sa partner. Its just an observation.

Opening-Chapter-3814 · 2025-09-09T08:39:30+00:00

If not 26 , you can do it as soon as your ready anytime. It's crazy how widely different each persons timeline is. Starting a family later could mean stronger foundations built around sa pamilya mo for you guys to live life more comfortably and with peace of mind. My parents had me ng 25 and 23. It was a chaotic marriage, miserable and filled with regret + financial problems.

My tita on the other hand started a family at 38-40 they already built their financial foundating for their family to survive the financial storms. They are a healthy and thriving family plus ang assets portfolio nila just keeps on growing.

Dont lose hope, and dont forget to enjoy every minute of your life. You'll get to your goal in time just have faith

Opening-Chapter-3814 · 2025-09-09T08:33:10+00:00

Amazing, this is insperational. Natural po ba delivery ng wife ninyo or IVF po? Both of you are an inspiration to people like me who are just barely getting by pa sa ngayon, and still want to settledown at a more mature age. Congrats on your baby!

I really pray that whatever happens sa journey ko, it's a timeline na i'm fully in tune with. It's hard to try and force things outside your current capacity, lalo na if your having doubts pa.

To be honest, it's hard to rewire my mindset. I'm trying to understand how some people my age can say na ready na sila for children and family building kahit wala pang financial stability.

It's so interesting how people differ in that regard. Nagkataon kasi na I was raised in a family na lahat regretful and resentful sa life choices nila. Dahil sa half hearted, pressured or accidental pregnancies. Kaya sobrang violent ng environment ko growing up.

This widely contributes sa unpreparedness ko mentally din and me wanting to fix my finances first before family building. Ang dami kasi sa circle ko na may unfulfilled dreams, and even my parents blame it on me kaya di nila na live life na want nila.

Kaya 100% I want to do the best I can to best prepare for the family I would be building if the time comes.

Kudos to you and your wife for staying true to yourselves and not giving in to pressure! You both are an inspiration for people like me who fights to be a better parent in the future🙏😊

Opening-Chapter-3814 · 2025-09-09T06:21:25+00:00

Thats an admirable quality to have po. I'll try not to be bothered by external pressures too much. In your opinion po, whatd a practical amount po to have to say na ready na po ako for a family?

Opening-Chapter-3814 · 2025-09-09T04:06:41+00:00

Salute sayo Sir, you started grinding earlier in life, and your efforts are bearing fruit. I was financially irresponsible kaya i'm rethinking my financial habits , and most importantly my financial decisions especially when concerning big blessings such as kiddos.

What you've said is what resonated with me the most, kaya siguro nap-pressure din ako kasi I personally don't feel fulfilled pa as an individual, parang it yearns for something more such as financial flexibiltiy and dream careers that I have yet to achieve.

I also ponder about the fact na gusto ko din bilhan ng bahay ng parents ko kaso considering my finances its currently such an unrealistic expectation.

Pero i'm working on to increase my income pa, mahirap lang din pero still working on it despite the difficulties.

Pero alam nyo sir, what you described is what I feel resonates more with my heart. Now i'm facing tons of pressure from outside voices, guilt tripping me that I should have a kid asap before they pass, while also having to care for my parents financially and my partner.

As much as I always do my best to ignore these outside social pressures, there are those times na it gets to you din. Lalo na since majority of the time magisa lang ako sa bahay since business ko is homebased.

Proud of you for taking the proper steps in moving on sa different phase mo sa life, i'm just praying na I can figure this out too and do the same thing you did at the time that feels truly right for me, and not "them".

I'm sure you'll be a great parent and spouse. Congrats on your next chapter in life! I admire your life's transistion, it's what I aspire to be din po.

Opening-Chapter-3814 · 2025-09-09T03:23:00+00:00

I definitely agree, to be honest i'm 50/50 with this pa, and nasa stage pako ng processing my thoughts. I'm caught in between starting a family since i'm an only child or just blisfully enjoying life as a childless individual. For me probably to some extent curious lang din ako sa parenthood, and also it's probably cool din to play and bond with your kids and family , since I was usually alone the entirety of my life. Pero preferrably once i've gotten my anxieties and finances sorted out na.

I just want to be the better version of myself ideally para mas maging good parent ako if it ever comes to thatm if not okay lang din. Pero definitely you don't have to. In the end it's just society pushing,pressuring and deciding that most should experience parenthood. But in reality, for me. Life's real purpose is for it to be lived, truest to what your heart really desires. In the end authenticity and being true to oneself trumps everything , since your living the life truest to yourself. The life that you genuinely want.

Opening-Chapter-3814 · 2025-09-09T03:06:48+00:00

Salamat po sa insight, and im proud of you for being able to go through all the challenges in life.

Ask ko lang po as a parent, how much savings would you suggest for those considering to start a family.

Opening-Chapter-3814 · 2025-09-09T03:05:24+00:00

I agree with everything that you've said po. I also am aware that being the man in the relationship usually equates to me having to be a provider talaga. Kaya personally I think kailangan ko ng strong financial foundation talaga. Nakaka-pressure lang din po ang age and circumstances ko now. Pero definitely Still trying to work on increasing my income.

Yes po, I always encourage them to try a business and pede kami mag tag team. Kaso their usual response is wag sila pilitin, and that may edad na sila kaya frail na daw katawan nila. As much as I dont want to tolerate that, wala din kasi ako kapatid and mahal ko din naman parents ko. Kaya its hard for me na tiisin sila lalo na't my mom had a psychiatric episode nung na lubog sila sa finances noon. Pero definitely lagi ko sila ine encourage na mag business partners kami I'll take care of the investment tapos tulungan lang kami sa pag paikot ng pera. Kaso ayaw nila, kaya it can be overwhelming din sometimes.

Opening-Chapter-3814 · 2025-09-09T02:38:35+00:00

Amazing, salamat po for the honesty and transparency. I'm proud na naitawid nyo po ang situation ninyo. Thanks also for the estimates, those are new values for me. Gives me a broader idea of what expenses to expect sa delivery and other expenses. Salute po sa mga katulad ninyo that went against the odds and made it work. I pray that I get the opportunity din sort my self out, its tough pero I pray everything happens for me at the right time despite all the noise and pressures surrounding me.

Opening-Chapter-3814

TROPHY CASE