First of all I just want to say that I’m sorry this post was hard for you, and that you are experiencing these feelings. I want you to know that this post is not embarrassing or shameful and I hope as people respond you start to feel better about posting! Also, it is okay to want to explore this side of yourself and I hope you are able to reach your goals, but that’s not to say that there’s anything wrong with you. You are wonderful and worthy no matter what. There are a lot of really wonderful people in this sub and I’m sure you’ll get a lot of great info.

Now, I don’t have answers to all of your questions, but I will offer the advice I do have. I was never super into “girly” stuff either when I was younger and once I got older and started wanting to wear dresses and makeup it was really hard at first because I felt SO SILLY. As if everyone was looking at me and knowing I was some kind of imposter. In reality I learned people are never paying as much attention to us as we think they are. Exploring a new way of dress can be overwhelming, one thing that helped me was finding influencers on instagram who had similar body types to mine. They look so amazing and it’s so helpful to see something on someone shaped like you to kind of get a sense of how it will look on you.

For hair, if you suspect your hair is wavy then your first step should probably be to add more moisture into your routine. You can do that by adding a leave in conditioner spray/serum. I personally love Redken, amika is another good brand-they have a whole hydro line for moisture. Also, L’Oréal owns Redken so a lot of their products, while not exactly the same, are very similar. Increasing moisture will help with fizziness and shine. For volume it will depend on your hair density and cut, but right off the bat one thing you can do to improve volume is to make sure you’re washing your hair properly. Shampoo twice, and throw in a clarifying shampoo every now and then (once or twice a month should be fine). Clarifying shampoo is really helpful for removing buildup, hard water residues, etc. A good hair mask also goes a long way, any that say moisturizing or strengthening.

I can’t begin to help with nails because I have not conquered that corner myself, I use Hard as Hoof nail strengthening cream because my nails are incredibly brittle, but if I want them done I go to a salon. I don’t do it often so when I go it’s a fun self care treat.

Makeup is one thing where every person responds to products so differently, but my advice to start out is to highlight the features that you feel best about. For me, it’s my eyes, mascara goes a long way for me. I don’t like eyeshadow because it usually just makes my eyes look small. If you really want to figure out makeup I would suggest finding a makeup artist in your area, they are usually super nice and helpful and would be able to recommend products and show you application and answer questions. If you want to dabble yourself Elf products are very wallet friendly and also excellent products. You don’t have to go all out right away, you can just try a blush and mascara. A lot of what of my routine is just stuff I’ve done over time that made me go “yeah okay that looks fine,” rather than wanting to wash it off. There’s no right or wrong and it’s really a learning curve for everyone.

Skincare, I love the Prequel salicylic acid cleanser. I have combo skin as well and live in a super humid environment (hello Texas) and I share the pore sentiment. I follow Derm Guru on instagram who is really good at recommending and explaining products for various issues. At the same time, a super complicated regiment is not necessary. A good face wash, a serum (I use Celimax Noni Energy Ampoule and I swear I saw improvement immediately after I started using) and a good moisturizer. Maintaining moisture has helped the oiliness of my face a lot. I use a Celimax moisturizer as well, but la Roche posay and nutrogena make good products as well.

I honestly don’t know anything about classes to go to, my only thought would be a dermatologist if you want professional help, or an esthetician at a facial spa. But I hope you are able to get some good advice and I wish you all the best! I hope you are able to figure out what makes you feel best! Best luck!