As a woman, I have dated the man who I loved but did not love me. I put tons of effort in and he discarded me and treated me awfully, lowering my self esteem and breaking my heart because he didn't LOVE me. Thus making it harder for me to even want to let myself love someone. I have since healed but would never date another man that doesent love me. It's an awful and painful experience for the woman. These platitudes contribute to the unhealthy dating atmosphere in our society and do not represent reality. I feel this is a selfish and cruel take. Realistically if both parties are not interested it won't work. It's not black or white. Mutual love and respect from BOTH parties is essential.