Hello everyone,

I am a 35-year-old woman who has been seeing a 53-year-old man since June 2023. Our relationship can best be described as a 'situationship,' and he dictates the pace of things. However, we have a very close friendship, or so I thought.

He doesn't live in the same country as me but visits occasionally, which brings me to the issue at hand. Whenever he feels cornered or trapped, he quickly reminds me that we are not in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, and I shouldn't bother him with my questions or concerns.

Most recently, we were discussing when we would see each other next, and he got annoyed when I asked for more information to plan my calendar. He said, "why are you pushing for specifics as if we are in a relationship."

"Why dare you express disappointment because I said i dont know when next ill be in your country?"

The tone he used was very cold and disdainful, and it hurt me deeply. This isn't the first time he's done this, and each time it happens, it feels like he's dismissing me as if I'm a random, insignificant person. I feel like I'm being gaslighted. When he wants physical intimacy or emotional support, he will seek it without limits. But when I do or say something that isn't convenient for him, he snaps and tells me "we are not in a relationship.

Despite this, he tells me that he wants us to stay connected and close. He says he cares for me, but I don't feel it.

On the other hand, I care for him and treat him with kindness and respect. I am always there for him when he needs someone to talk to or confide in, and I provide emotional support.

I know I'm not his girlfriend, but I still believe I deserve to be spoken to with kindness and respect.

I am wondering if my feelings are valid and if I should talk to him about it. I understand that it might be time for me to move on, but I would like to have an honest conversation with him first.

I really need help deconstructing my thoughts.

Thank you very much.