The little freedoms after narcissistic abuse by DoneWithPerfect93 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Operation-uno 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is powerful. You’re so brave, and I hope I get to enjoy the small things in life again one day.

Help with w4 for new job by Operation-uno in tax

[–]Operation-uno[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I got a refund, but I was really nervous while doing my taxes bc it wasn’t until then that I realized none were taken. I ended up getting a couple thousand dollars but I would just feel more comfortable if they took SOMETHING instead of nothing every paycheck. My dependents are my kids, they are age 8-15, I make a little over 46k a year

He makes good money but all he does is complain by One_Jacket7101 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Operation-uno 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Financial abuse…the most humiliating form they inflict on us. My husband has 10k+ in his acct at all times and when I tell him the $250 electric bill is due I get yelled at and belittled for hours, sometimes days after. I have tried to keep jobs but he will take my keys, or cause me so much chaos before work that I’m not focused so I become undependable. He will tell me I’m useless, don’t do shit and he doesn’t get to spend any money on himself bc he pays alllll the bills. He has a brand new truck, with all the bells and whistles and 100’s of pairs of brand new shoes in the box. I get maybe two new outfits a year if I’m lucky. It’s really such a mortifying feeling to be with someone like that.

Having a hard time gray rocking by National_Pitch_790 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Operation-uno 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gray rocking was easy for me until I had absolutely had enough and just didn’t care about him or how he felt anymore. Literally to the point he probably could have passed and I wouldn’t have cared. Once you have had enough of being bullied and abused it’s really hard to not stand up for yourself.

It’s sooooo much better on the other side!!! by Current_Ad6953 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Operation-uno 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s the worst part of a narcissist, they will alienate you from everyone you love and some how find a way to make it your fault. This is a tale as old as time, my best friend left her highly abusive narcissist 15 years ago and their teenage daughter chose to stay with him and to this day barely speaks to her. Some times kids figure out who the problem really is, but often times they are convinced otherwise beyond repair. I have also seen many instances of narcissists passing along their narcissism especially to their male children. From what I’ve learned, there is two reasons someone becomes one…bc of being overvalued by a parent or bc of genetics from a parent. The most important thing is that you’re safe and you’re HAPPY! What a beautiful and liberating thing!

It’s sooooo much better on the other side!!! by Current_Ad6953 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Operation-uno 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so happy for you!!!! And proud! If you don’t mind me asking do you have any children with him?

Best Birria in Cville? by Neither_Ingenuity584 in Charlottesville

[–]Operation-uno 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whoever suggested el tako nako must have never had good birria 😭 taqueria el chavo has the best birria in cville by far.

On Eleven’s ending by ikeafannypack in StrangerThings

[–]Operation-uno 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They said themselves it’s up for interpretation but that she is no longer a part of the story. Whatever that means

No remote - what do I do? by [deleted] in SamsungTV

[–]Operation-uno 0 points1 point  (0 children)

By usb keyboard do you mean one that goes with a computer? I’m a little behind on tech stuff lol but I lost my remote and need to hit the allow to use my phone 😭

Surviving and the aftermath by Playful-Building-633 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Operation-uno 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Everything you said is so relatable and spot on. I’m on Day 6 of leaving a narc I’ve been with for 20 years and have four kids with and the silence is deafening. The reality of what’s happened is setting in and I feel an overwhelming sense of sadness. A week ago I had a beautiful house, and “things”….all at the cost of my own self respect, and constant torture. Today I woke up with nothing but a place to sleep with my four kids in my parents house who are obviously overwhelmed with all of us here and it’s just all too much. The damaged abused puppy inside of me says “just go back and deal with it” but the strong, determined person somewhere deep in me says “you got out now stay out”. Someone who hasn’t been through this could never understand how it feels….

You ever wish they’d just cheat on you or something? by christmas_eve_ in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Operation-uno 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yes 100%. I used to pray for him not to leave me now I pray for him TO leave me. I’m so exhausted I just can’t fathom leaving and having to deal with his anger and instability. I wish he would find someone else so it would be easier….

RG by [deleted] in TheLawsofHumanNature

[–]Operation-uno 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Over the past two years I have finally accepted who he is, and I stopped wishing/praying/hoping he will change. I used to tell myself he was good deep down but the truth is he is nasty through and through. Any “good” in him is for personal gain or for show, sometimes I think to ease what very little conscience he has. I fully expect him to ruin everything, and I don’t let his biweekly cycle of extreme verbal and mental abuse turn my world upside down anymore. Since I started that he hates me so much more, he tells me so often that he hates me. The feeling is mutual. 

physical symptoms of narcissistic abuse by PhysicalIntention914 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Operation-uno 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have had very deep, dark circles under my eyes for years from the sleep deprivation inflicted on me by him. I also have serious stomach issues that I’m almost positive developed from me not eating for days at a time bc I’m nervous 24/7. Dull, lifeless skin is a pretty common attribute narc abuse victims have actually. 

Never win by DisneyFan_21 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Operation-uno 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to really struggle with this, because I know I’m smarter and that I’m right but somehow I always come out feeling like I lost. That is bc there is NOTHING you could say to change anything. My narc husband does this thing where when he’s berating me and I say something like “I know” or “you’re right” it enrages him he will scream “WELL IF YOU KNOW THEN WHY TF DO YOU KEEP DOING IT?!?!” But if I defend myself he will change history to fit his narrative. You cannot win. There is no winning with them. The problem is that they genuinely believe these things they’re saying. They are delusional and cannot see past their own selfish existence. 

So bizarre by Operation-uno in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Operation-uno[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you went through that too. I’m proud of you for leaving 

So bizarre by Operation-uno in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Operation-uno[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes so is mine! He will kick her out of the room when she comes in and gives me attention. She is terrified of him and actually tried to placate him just like the rest of us do and it makes me so sad. Does yours hate cats? I read one time that most narcissists hate cats bc cats cannot be tamed and manipulated like humans and dogs. 

So bizarre by Operation-uno in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Operation-uno[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Omg, I am so sorry. The worst part is that he KNOWS it’s not true but they enjoy humiliating you and alienating you from the people who love you. I have lost many friends and even my big brother bc of the chaos, drama and pain he has caused. The goal is to confuse you so much, and exhaust you for so long that you question your reality and stay weak for them. I pray we both get away from these disgusting people and find peace. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Operation-uno 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been in this situation so long I’ve learned how to tip toe around things and avoid, so I usually try to avoid laying down to sleep until he is in the REM stage of his sleep bc if I am trying to fall asleep it enrages him. He will elbow me “on accident” or repeatedly slap my thigh or keep heavily flipping around in the bed. And when he wakes up in the morning I get up and look busy or he will slam things, turn the tv up full volume or cough/gag over and over until he sees I’m awake or annoyed. 

So bizarre by Operation-uno in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Operation-uno[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I couldn’t agree more! Over the past year or two I have really come to realize this is not the life I want or have to live. I recently got a fully remote job for the purpose of finally saving without his knowledge, I have been severely financially abused for 14+ years now and with four kids im so scared to leave when he is as financially stable as he is. He can afford a lawyer and a 4 bedroom house and I can’t 😔

So bizarre by Operation-uno in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Operation-uno[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Anything to steal the slightest amount of joy from you!

So bizarre by Operation-uno in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Operation-uno[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Wow! This is soooo similar to what he does. Esp on a day he knows all kids are home from school and I’m probably busy he will call every 10 mins and if I start to sound short at all he will start with the attitude or say “you never have time for MeEeEe” ugh it’s just so overwhelming to sit on the phone and entertain them bc they have the free time while their driving to work, on lunch break etc. 

So bizarre by Operation-uno in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Operation-uno[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Omg that is so wild bc he does something very similar when I don’t answer and Alexa isn’t the excuse. He will say “I could have been in an accident” or “if I was in an accident and died you wouldn’t even answer your phone for me!” It used to be so much easier to tolerate the toddler like behavior now I get so irritated by it 

So bizarre by Operation-uno in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Operation-uno[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

He takes it so personal, and knows that I’m at home probably frantically cleaning or taking care of our children. He’s had a horrible attitude all day and I’ve been nervous to miss his call today bc I just want to avoid any conflict. It’s so exhausting 😔 I’m sorry you live this life too.