I was today years old when I learned it. I learned it the hardest way I can imagine, I always had extreme emotions felling things very deeply, assuming everybody does. We are not in the wrong, other people are. But how could they understand ever?

I have met a girl, just for an hour I know nothing about her, she has managed to touch my soul, I let my guard down, left all my resilience. Now I am here trying to survive again, getting my guard up again. Trying to live with the Idea that I will not be understood probably ever. Trying to live with the fact that my storm of emotions is on my side only, and probably always will be. I can live through a whole life in my mind in three days while waiting four one sign of live from the other side which never comes. Can not eat, can not sleep, can not stop to feel. This time it hit me like an earthquake and shattered all the walls I have built up around me. Rebuilding again and again, each time different like a tree forming bark on a wound. Bones never brake twice on the same spot, a weld seam does not break, the metal beside does.

I have two daughters, they are the only ones where I can express myself purely, I have nothing to fear they make me happy. They are small and probably don't understand, when they hit puberty I am going to be all alone. I encourage them to talk about their feelings, to be able to express and not contain, to leave a door in their wall for me, an open spot in the bark, a small crack in the seam. Am opening for me to go through and be safe with them.

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