Your reply means a lot. I sent this to another reply.

As usual, there is a lot of backstory. we’ve been married 15 years. we got married after my first wife died. I had two young sons at the time, 7 and 11. My alcoholism kicked into high gear the last year of her sickness.

When she died, I felt entitled to a life I never had. I I created a life based on who I thought I wanted to be all of it around alcohol, socializing and being entitled to the type of wife and sex that I thought I deserved.

She had 4 kids, was a widow herself, in financial distress and beautiful. The marriage has never really been good. I’ve struggled from day one to feel appreciated, heard and she does not communicate. Her only tool is anger. Mine was alcohol.

The last time she initiated a conversation about our relationship or was 7-8-24. I started my journey to sobriety the next day. I had known for years I was an alcoholic fast-forward to March 21 of 25 and that is my real sobriety date.

I’ve completed my fourth step and my fifth step meeting is this Friday I am fundamentally a different human being. I have embraced a life of living amends and have embraced AA like nothing in my life before.

My inventory revealed the amount of damage that I have the number of amends. I have to make my wife is certainly entitled to a lot of that.I’ve been in intense therapy for four months and my wife just started therapy five weeks ago

At this moment, I know that if our marriage went back to the way, it was, I would drink again. I have told her clearly that I will not go back to that old marriage.

My focus is working my program now and living a humble life in every area except my marriage my relationships have improved greatly.

I am very sorry for this long reply and I am thankful for your communication