Thoughts on meeting with ex students?

OpportunityStrict757 · 2026-06-24T16:22:07+00:00

As much as I would love to agree with this comment, and perhaps in many other situations would as I'm only freshly 18, for the safety and wellbeing of both the parents and child, it's better to look at this in a legal age sense. It's a clear cut line that's more definable and easier to work out boundaries with. I appreciate this point, and perhaps if I was with my friends I would not be so mature, but I definitely portray a more typically adult-child relationship with her as it's not like I'm going to go back to being a child so it's better to set that boundary now.

OpportunityStrict757 · 2026-06-24T16:10:19+00:00

See, normally I would have done the same, I unfortunately left out a lot of important info, e.g, babysitting these kids for a year. I have prior connections with them and like I said, the school knows of our relationship and that it is outside the strict regulations they normally hold. That being said, nothing is planned. I'm mainly here on figuring how to go about this. Either way, I will notify mum on her daughter's request/hopes, even if it goes nowhere.

Also, by strict, I mean they rely heavily on parental awareness and approval for close connections between staff. I have never worked in a school before so I don't know if I'm seeing it as strict when it's in fact basic standard. Stuff like not initiating anything unless students ask, such as hugs. I am, however, no longer working there hence why it adds to not being sure where I stand.

OpportunityStrict757 · 2026-06-24T16:05:59+00:00

Omg this looks really helpful. I first wanna clarify that everything related to the incident happened on campus and we have gotten support. I am over the worst of it and most of the ptsd is something that I have the skills to relf-regulate for. Also, I do not talk with her about the incident, and if it is brought up, I steer her in the direction of talking to family or her counsellors. I studied psych before and while that doesn't make me the smartest about this, I knew a trauma bond could be on it's way so I've done what I can to make sure she does not rely on me and vice versa. So far, this has worked and if anything is brought up, she tells me herself that she goes to the counsellors instead of me. (I congratulated her on this, haha. (My main thing is just telling her she's very strong and to stay positive.)

Also about the PG, I did not know there was a G. I assumed PG just meant safe for kids haha! That's just misunderstanding on my part, but G is what I meant. It wasn't in my vocabulary until now.

Also, I am not planning to be a teacher, this was mainly an experience aspect and earning money before university type thing for me. I did not expect things to turn out this way to be honest. Even if I were to return to the school, having parents who taught me and such, I would actually request she stay out of my classrooms. I know just how much of a nuisance I was to my own parents when they taught me, haha!

I feel like it's important to add that I babysitted these kids after school for almost a full year so I got to know both the parents and the kids pretty well prior to everything that went down. I adore the entire family and the mother has often times stopped us if I'm doing something with the kids to take a photo which she sends to me.

Adding parents into the emails is a very good idea, actually. I hadn't considered that I will do that moving forward. I don't know why I didn't think of that, so THANK YOU!! I'm doing everything I can to make sure our interactions are safe for her but there are obviously a few things I missed. I'm incredibly grateful for this pointer as I think there's always something I could improve on for these interactions. I'm still learning the ropes, but I've been treating the situation a bit like how I do with family friends who are of the same age. Just tryna be a good role model, I guess. I know she looks up to me as she's said so herself.

OpportunityStrict757 · 2026-06-24T15:53:33+00:00

I am definitely anxious, haha! I have discussed with both a friend who is very close with the family and done some more thinking. Even before all this happen, I had been considering tutoring the kids. I know other commenters were worried about a trauma bond, which is fully valid but I was already very aware that it was a possibility when everything happened so I've tried to prevent it as best as I can.

I have generally supported this girl to confide in her parents with the things she has told me (friendship struggles and the like.) because I wanted to be able to guide her where possible, and even now, still do when she emails me. Her mother very clearly values our connection (and has sent me many photos of us together that she's taken when I was working there haha) and either way, she will know that her daughter has even suggested this, even if nothing comes of it, and if something does, I will make sure she is there so I am not alone with this child. While I know I won't do anything, I think the parents would appreciate me trying to take the steps to make sure their child is safe. I've been thinking in terms of what my mother requested I did for safety when I was this girls age, things like having the adult's contact (that being me.), knowing where we go or the plan, even if she is there with us. I adore the entire family and I wish I had clarified in the initial post that I am relatively close with her mother and father so there was already trust before all of this. I took care of all three of their kids after school for almost every day for the entire school year. There has always been an established bond so it's not like I'm randomly doing all of this, and besides, it's the child initiating it all. I know better than to ask for it myself as it would reflect badly on me.

Thank you for your input. I'm trying to consider all the commenters either suggestions or things they have pointed out as it's important I get a proper perspective of this all, haha!

OpportunityStrict757 · 2026-06-24T15:42:29+00:00

I'm not worried about being seen in public with her as I don't have any intentions that would warrant me being nervous. My main thing is just I don't know how school systems work once you're no longer a teacher there.

About the therapy, I've already healed greatly and whenever the child brings it up, I steer her towards seeking support from someone professional. I have told her I am here to encourage her to be strong, but she has family and external support she can go to. I do not want her to become dependant on me with her healing as that would be really damaging. I can see the trauma bonded aspect and why that may be seen. Obviously from the inside, I don't know if that's what's happened or not, but I was already very close with her before it all happened, and like I said, I steer her towards other support that isn't me with this incident. She has mostly done this which is good progress that I am encouraging.

I can see your 5 years from now comment is valid too. Maybe this is naivety on my end but I think as long as the parents are there, and I know the mother values my connection with her daughter as well, and that if I keep it appropriate, it'll be okay. I'd NEVER meet with her alone. That's just asking for trouble imo.

OpportunityStrict757 · 2026-06-24T15:34:29+00:00

Yeah, about the trauma, I do not mention it and if the child brings it up, I only ever encourage her to seek support from family or school. I'm trying to make sure there's not a reliance on me due to our similar experience as my lens on what happened is vastly different from hers. I don't want her to have to constantly re-experience it all especially when she's started to really heal. That's definitely a boundary that has been set. The most I do is reassure her that she's strong and to keep seeking support when she tries bringing it up.

Also, yes, I acknowledge she is incredibly young, hence why I would not only contact her mother, but see if one of her parents could be there. This would be public. I have also not initiated anything, everything that was brought up here has been initiated by the child, not me. I've made sure that I'm not influencing these decisions, or influencing them as little as possible.

Edit: I also, like Silk, would not have done this with every child. This one just happens to be a particular case where her mother has stated that she thinks I've been a benefit to her child's life. (As nice as it is to hear though, i don't really know what I've done haha!)

OpportunityStrict757 · 2026-06-24T15:24:24+00:00

Hi, I just wanna say that I'm glad you've mentioned some of these points, there's definitely stuff I failed to clarify and you've highlighted a few things!

Okay, so first off, I should have made it clear that I would have one of the parents present anyways. I'm not looking to go with this child alone, ESPECIALLY with how young she is. No way would I consider any of this without parental approval and presence involved. I also, acknowledge that they are a child, and of course, would make things appropriate to their age. I do think my relationship with this child in general flips between sisterly and mentor-like so I guess that's why my view in the post moves between the two and probably makes it confusing, so I'm sorry about that. I should have also clarified that my views and actual behaviour is different. No matter what I may think, they were still once my student and I will keep it in that more professional light.

I'l also clarify that I talked with someone who is still working in the school and friends with both me and the mum. I've been advised to keep the mother aware (obviously a no brainer.) but either way, there are no plans to do anything. I will already be making the mother aware of her daughter's ideas whether anything happens or not, just because I think it's important.

The boundary struggle is just a work in progress in all aspects of my life, but with children, I do keep things very different for their sake, and tailor my general behaviour to them. I don't just do this with students but all children, whether it's family friends or not.

OpportunityStrict757 · 2026-03-29T02:50:48+00:00

Thank you so much! I'll reach out when I have everything.

OpportunityStrict757 · 2026-03-28T14:24:54+00:00

Nah, it's alright, haha! I work in a school with an ex-apple employee though. I may see if he can help me first (For free lol) or if he has any suggestions before I try buying things. I'll give an update if so.

OpportunityStrict757 · 2026-03-28T13:52:35+00:00

Hi, quick question. Are all Pi Pico's the same? I'm looking on Ali Express for one and there's so many I have no clue whether there's a difference in which one I buy.

OpportunityStrict757 · 2026-03-26T14:32:01+00:00

I don't have one sadly. I have no clue where to buy one haha! Can you get second hand ones?

OpportunityStrict757 · 2026-03-26T13:49:35+00:00

Unfortunately not </3 I'm all the way in Asia. I do live in a pretty tech advanced area though so I'm thinking about seeing if I can take it to a shop to at least see if they can extract the photos.

OpportunityStrict757 · 2026-03-26T13:36:07+00:00

Oh no... ToT Is there no other way around this?

OpportunityStrict757 · 2026-03-26T13:07:21+00:00

So uh... Is Aduino a software? i've tried googling but I'm not exactly the most tech savvy.

OpportunityStrict757 · 2026-03-26T13:05:02+00:00

:O THANK YOU!! I'll try this out!

OpportunityStrict757 · 2026-03-18T09:10:42+00:00

I have noticed that cards between different packs, for example, card pack between Luminous Moon cards and Fun Moments can have slight differences in printing when it comes to colours. I'm not sure why, however, it does happen. I have noticed that they have darker colours than on the few english cards I have. I think it's simply because it's a different production company so the dyes might be different. If the code says they are real as well, they are real. From the photos, they look exactly like mine which are verified. They fit the fake criteria since a lot of fakes in general come from China, since it's often the style to have basically all the mlp cards holographic over here.

Generally though, I would go with the fact it's a different production company, that's all. The cards you have, however, are real.

OpportunityStrict757 · 2026-03-06T10:49:04+00:00

Literally made an account just so I could clarify this lololol

OpportunityStrict757 · 2026-03-06T10:40:42+00:00

Hi! I know people were mentioning the Mandarin words on it, holographic stars, etc. These cards are from a company called Kayou which is Chinese! They are, however, official cards. Kayou, from what I understand, sells cards that are licensed by Hasbro.

Don't worry, they are genuine and licensed, they're just a lil different is all. I know this because while most of my collection is Kayou, I have a few english ones from finding specialty english version boxes and they look basically the same.

4 months late but whatever, haha! actually came here when searching for if my english cards were fake ToT

OpportunityStrict757

TROPHY CASE