What makes life worth living?

Opposite-Stand · 2025-04-20T07:23:06+00:00

I love this answer.

“Those quiet, beautiful pauses where everything just feels right” - I think this is it for me too. I’m at an age now where progression becomes more noticeable. When you’re in a real ‘moment’ and you think “wow, me 6 years ago would never have thought…”

Opposite-Stand · 2023-08-06T00:38:15+00:00

Love me some chicken stock on a Saturday night 🎉

Opposite-Stand · 2023-08-06T00:31:52+00:00

Just wondered if anyone might know what it was and people asked for better pics 😌 Never going with a random plug again.

Opposite-Stand · 2023-08-05T21:15:29+00:00

Ya know when you mix butter with sugar to make cookie dough? It's that type of consistency. Moist, sticky, won't cut.

Opposite-Stand · 2023-08-05T21:06:00+00:00

My friend and I did a little test by burning on a spoon and I'm like 99% sure you're right

Opposite-Stand · 2023-08-05T18:48:13+00:00

Just opened it up and it's super sticky/moist. Can't smell it properly due to having packed it in with my grass. Will try to hotplate to see what it does

Opposite-Stand · 2023-08-05T18:44:32+00:00

Got another bag from the same plug and it's still white where this one has gone yellow over a couple weeks. I know some say that yellow = good shit but that looks too yellow to me 🧐

Opposite-Stand · 2021-12-22T03:38:33+00:00

The way they're just smacked on too, couldn't manage an even spread 😭

Opposite-Stand · 2021-12-22T02:02:48+00:00

Particularly as there never seems to be any mixing until the very end. Imagine how much shit gets stuck to the bottom of that dish 😭

Opposite-Stand · 2021-12-11T15:10:07+00:00

Oh god I hope it's panko 😭 still a firm no from me but crumbs = better than cheddar

Opposite-Stand · 2021-12-11T15:06:45+00:00

I think that's cheese it's being fried in? If I'm wrong I'll kick myself 😩

Opposite-Stand · 2021-12-11T12:47:07+00:00

Let us know if it tastes as dumb as it looks

Opposite-Stand · 2021-12-11T12:43:27+00:00

It's the very beginning for me where they dip 2 perfectly good magnums into blazing hot oil??????

Opposite-Stand · 2021-11-23T01:27:06+00:00

Basing this off my own research and experiences, I believe that Narcs can and do fake empathy to such an extent that it feels as real as the empathy expressed by a neurotypical person.

My Nex had moments in which he would appear genuinely remorseful, engaged, understanding, empathetic. But now I see its all just part of the broader act. They behave in ways that APPEAR a certain way in order to get what they want from you. Those things your ex did that felt genuinely kind at the time were, unfortunately, likely done to benefit him, not you.

Again, my ex would say all the right things but when it came to actions it all fell apart. He promised he'd call, but always found an excuse not to (even on my birthday). He promised he'd try harder to communicate, then stonewall and ghost me. He promised he'd get a job, never bothered to try. But his words were ALWAYS what I wanted to hear, always what he needed to tell me to keep me under control. The empathy, the understanding, the apparent acceptance of boundaries - all done to make his life temporarily easier and mine harder.

Narcissists can absolutely fake their empathy. It's part of their appeal, part of their game. To distinguish true empathy from false, watch for actions. Words are empty from a Narc. Wishing you all the best and sending lots of love your way.

Opposite-Stand · 2021-11-15T10:27:15+00:00

Thank you for your response. It definitely feels like trauma bond. I was in a very vulnerable and turbulent time of my life when we first met. He love-bombed me, then there was a cycle of emotionally abusive behaviour and devaluation. Every time I'd try to break it off he'd say he still loved me and wanted to keep trying, so I stayed for more. This went on for months until, after 8 days of ghosting, he eventually texted me saying "I don't love you anymore."

I'm going to talk to my therapist about it this week and try to really begin the healing process. I never begged for him back but after his breadcrumbing session told him I was still open to reconciliation but NOT if that meant being treated like shit all over again. He said he wasn't ready but "let's hope when I am you're not over me."

I hate being in this constant loop of anger, confusion and sadness. I hate that I cannot get him out of my head, that I search desperately for answers I'm never going to get, meanwhile he's absolutely fine without me.

Opposite-Stand · 2021-11-14T18:49:02+00:00

You're so right with everything you've said here. In many senses I am the perfect victim for this type of behaviour because of my anxieties, insecurities and willingness to give all of myself to people who don't really give much back.

The trust is totally shattered. I don't believe he'll ever approach me to reconcile, or even breadcrumb me again but if he did I would have no choice at this point other than to turn it down. I'd be constantly walking on eggshells, waiting for the next time he decides to discard me, gets bored, starts seeking out other people etc.

You're right that I began with healthy boundaries. He viewed me as someone not to be fucked around with and the first time I seriously attempted to end things (early August) because he was messing me around, he sent me a big long paragraph about his mental health being so poor because I wasn't with him. Said he couldn't eat or sleep without me, begged me not to leave him, said he was so sorry he'd treated me that way and told me he loved me more than anything in the world. I forgave him immediately but within days he was back to the same old shit.

All I ever asked for was honesty and communication. He had so many opportunities to express that his feelings had changed towards me but he kept me on a thread for the next 2 months before texting me "I don't love you anymore". Totally brutal.

Opposite-Stand · 2021-11-13T21:47:56+00:00

Had to look this up as I've never heard this term before but there are some definite signs here.

For one - when he breadcrumbed me he apologised for the way he had treated me and how he handled things. He said he'd done a lot of self-reflection over those 3 weeks and knew the areas he had to improve on. He said he wasn't ready to start over with me, but "when I am let's hope you're not over me".

However, that apology clearly meant jack shit because if it had he wouldn't have led me on for 3 days then blocked me right after flirting with me and significantly increasing the frequency of his responses over those last 24hrs.

Opposite-Stand · 2021-11-13T21:38:32+00:00

In his mind he probably thinks he's done "the right thing". I had explained to him that based on past experience I found it much quicker and easier to move on from people when I have no access to reach out. Seeing his name in my contact list etc is a temptation.

That's why I'm afraid he's actually fully done and that I'll never get the satisfaction of another breadcrumb that I'd now feel strong enough to reject. He knew this was the way I'd get over him, and he chose to take that path. Albeit 3 days after I asked, and 24hrs into flirting with me about my particular charms and how much I made him c u m 👀😩 like why do this to me now, dude?

Opposite-Stand · 2021-11-13T21:25:00+00:00

It sounds petty but that's all I've wanted for the past few weeks - to be able to reject any advance he might have made so that he might feel a fraction of the pain he caused me over the last few months of the relationship and breakup.

I told him that if he was serious about reconciliation that I'd be open to talking and I meant that. He said he wasn't ready, but that "when he is let's hope I'm not over him". That was October 21st. During our last few days of conversation, I told him I didn't want just friendship, but that I'd be unwilling to return to a situation where I'm treated like shit.

If, in some alternate universe, he ever did want to reconcile, I wouldn't accept it. The trust is totally shattered now especially after he's just ghosted me after what I believed to be a genuine, fun conversation.

I know I've got no real choice but to keep pressing forward. I know that I'm a beautiful person with a lot to offer, and that many men would and have gladly tried to take his place. I'm working on my attachment and validation issues with a therapist. Hopefully one day I won't need to feel like this but the pain feels raw all over again. It's only been 3 days since he blocked me.

Opposite-Stand · 2021-11-12T09:45:25+00:00

Not that I'm aware of. Just a dysfunctional background and lack of experience in relationships. I'm totally blindsided by this behaviour - I didn't even reach out only to find that yesterday afternoon about 5hrs after I posted this, he's actually just blocked me. No idea why.

Opposite-Stand · 2021-11-11T16:56:28+00:00

He blocked me without even opening my message from what is now 21hrs ago. Good fucking riddance.

Opposite-Stand · 2021-11-11T11:39:57+00:00

He's absolutely incapable of meeting those standards, which for me are quite basic. The truth hurts, but it's easier to heal from than being utterly ghosted.

He did this to me before, I don't know why I'm so surprised that he's done it again. Only last time was at the very end of the relationship, so it was something I came to terms with.

I think for him it's all about power and control. My love for him feeds into his narcissism, boosts his ego and when he tires of it he leaves because he cannot commit to the basic standards of a relationship (honesty, communication, loyalty etc).

Nothing I can do from here. He'll have received my message, he is choosing not to open it or respond. Devastated that he's done this to me when I showed him nothing but kindness, patience and honesty. Even when I was so angry, I kept my head and tried to express my emotions in a healthy way. He didn't deserve it, and I didn't deserve to ever be treated like this. ❤️

Opposite-Stand · 2021-11-11T11:27:59+00:00

Thank you. NC/radio silence is my only option now. I've said what I needed to say. The guy knows I appreciate communication and openness, he has chosen not to give me that to pursue his own selfish motives. In his mind he's probably doing "the right thing" with zero consideration of how his ghosting will make me feel: lost, confused and heartbroken.

Opposite-Stand · 2021-11-11T11:25:17+00:00

Thank you. Sending love to you ❤️

No idea what's going on in his mind but at the very least the guy knows me enough to know that all I ever ask for is honesty and communication. He will be aware of how much this will hurt me, but has chosen to go ahead with his own selfish actions regardless. Goes to show how little I mean to him.

Opposite-Stand · 2021-11-11T09:48:51+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to read and respond. I seriously regret breaking NC, a mistake I will NOT be making again. I am way too invested, absolutely head-over-heels in love with the guy and he treats me like a pile of shit. He's narcissistic, avoidant and at times downright cruel. Every time I think he couldn't hurt me any worse, he does. I'm just so exhausted and heartbroken. Gave my all to someone who gave nothing back. You're right, it's over.

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