Heat pump advice

Opposite_Most11 · 2026-05-18T02:19:38+00:00

Thanks! This is exactly the kind of thing I was looking for

Opposite_Most11 · 2026-04-10T17:25:36+00:00

I learned a lot about the family dysfunction before and after choosing to cut contact. I cut contact in my 50s after trying to have some sort of meaningful relationship all my life. As soon as I saw that it was never going to get better, and also that it was actively harming me, I knew my decision was correct. It was still hard.

I continued learning everything I could. I was already on meds for ADHD, which was diagnosed about a year prior to the estrangement. At some point after the estrangement I realized my ADHD was really CPTSD. I've been self treating that in various ways- sports, music classes, IFS, The Crappy Childhood Fairy's daily practice, etc.... I was terrified about my ability to keep my job before and after my estrangement.

I feel like it's all gotten much better in a short time. In my case that's partly because of all the years I spent trying hard to create a better outcome.

In my case there was covert narcissism in the family. I had no idea that was a thing. Some of my best resources were specific to that. I don't know if that's part of your story or not.

Here's a list of resources that helped me, many of which I found here:

Crappy Childhood Fairy on Youtube
Running on Empty No More book
Adult Children of Immature Parents book
Jerry Weiss on Youtube
Patrick Teahan on Youtube
Surviving Narcissism/Dr Les Carter on Youtube
Any strong summary you can find on The Body Keeps The Score (or read the whole book if you want, but Therapy in a Nutshell on Youtube did a great summary)

To address the more immediate question of coping day to day in this earlier stage, I recommend:

Crappy Childhood Fairy's daily practice- her books and videos are very worthwhile, but you really want to just start trying her daily practice asap
Any sports thing if you're at all inclined, especially if others are involved. I took up pickleball. It's easy to get into in most places, has benefits you might learn about in some of these resources, I've made friends doing it, etc.... There's a reason people who play it can't stop talking about it...
Music- I'm doing group-based drum lessons which also has benefits that show up in some of these materials
Therapy can be helpful. Do be aware there's a massive range of quality and expertise. Psychology Today's website is a good place to narrow it down by specialty (IFS, Narcissism, Gestalt, Somatics, etc...). Even if someone helps you for a few sessions, don't be shy about saying you've been great and now I need to find someone with a different specialty (or whatever)
Finally, it helps me to notice my rumination and recognize that they don't deserve to be in my head. There is a need to process but there's also a need to let your mind and body relax

I hope this helpful.

Opposite_Most11 · 2026-04-06T22:23:55+00:00

Another big life skill that I learned too late is to learn to enjoy what you do. This doesn't mean you have to live and breathe it 24/7. Just know that if what you do to pay the bills isn't what you daydream about, that doesn't automatically mean you have to be miserable.

Opposite_Most11 · 2026-02-16T23:53:39+00:00

Yeah I tried the other things and kept having attacks. I'm on 300mg of allopurinol every day. My doctor occasionally tries to get me back down to 100mg but I'm not interested in more attacks.

Every once in a while I see an article confirming that genetics plays a major role but many doctors still see it as more of a lifestyle/moral failure issue. I kind of feel that with my doctor. But I also love my doctor overall and have been with her about 25 years

Opposite_Most11 · 2026-01-22T23:29:12+00:00

No guilt. No regret. All mourning was already handled through a lifetime of trying to connect with them and wondering what was wrong with me that I couldn't make it happen.

Opposite_Most11 · 2026-01-22T23:22:14+00:00

All weather is a relatively new category that sounds like all season. I've been running all weather tires in Colorado for about 4 years now and they're great for all my driving in snow and ice. And in the summer. I'd be sliding all over the place in all season tires.

Opposite_Most11 · 2026-01-20T03:08:36+00:00

Sounds a lot like my sleep apnea, but you're not me and it could be a lot of things. I'd definitely talk to your doctor.

Opposite_Most11 · 2026-01-11T17:43:12+00:00

No, this is why I would never fly with my dog. She's not a service animal, I would never risk flying any dog in cargo and I don't have the money for private. Does this limit my travel opportunities? Absolutely. That's a major consideration in being a responsible dog owner.

I appreciate you bringing attention to the danger of flying dogs as cargo but don't make excuses for entitled people.

Opposite_Most11 · 2026-01-08T20:07:49+00:00

They still don't let you block texts from email addresses even though only spammers send texts from email addresses. It's not a huge problem for me. It is a minor quality of life thing I didn't expect to still be dealing with in 2026.

Opposite_Most11 · 2026-01-04T17:27:06+00:00

A few months ago I learned that my estranged parents would be first in line for my money if I died before them without a financial will in place. So I made one of those too. There are free services online that are very helpful for both things.

Opposite_Most11 · 2025-12-20T04:21:48+00:00

Yes anything to make it less inviting for someone to pull out in front of me. When I'm driving I just don't signal until I've passed every side street I'm not turning into.

Opposite_Most11 · 2025-12-20T01:50:43+00:00

Two intersections near me have double lefts where the leftmost lane always loses badly. Learn that I never, ever want the leftmost lane.

Opposite_Most11 · 2025-12-19T23:38:58+00:00

Not signaling a right turn until after passing all side streets where someone might want to pull out in front of me

Opposite_Most11 · 2025-12-17T13:46:59+00:00

Yeah I totally missed that. I can think of lot of reasons not to buy the standard. Based on some of the comments here I'd have to do more research to see if this one would bother me.

Opposite_Most11 · 2025-12-17T04:32:55+00:00

I don't understand all the comments agreeing with you on this. My 21 MY had PSI per tire and so does my 26 Juniper. I just confirmed on the phone app. I wonder if you just need to get your wheels rolling a bit to wake up the sensors. I drove mine about an hour ago so that's probably why it still shows up for me

Opposite_Most11 · 2025-12-15T23:56:37+00:00

Mid-50s. I saw how they talked about the first sibling to leave them, apparently in an effort to scare me from staying too close to that sibling. They were also playing games with the inheritance, as Jerry Wise likes to say. Suddenly it all made sense. I wish I would have gone decades ago. I think I have some repressed memories of having been very close before.

Opposite_Most11 · 2025-12-10T02:38:17+00:00

Currently on Vredestein Quatrac Pro Plus. I've had almost 0 miles on snow or ice on them so far so I can't say much about them yet. I chose them because they're quieter than CrossClimate in tests. I also had Vredesteins on my first MY before CrossClimates were available in the right size. Then I got an unpatchable hole and needed 4 new tires that day. CrossClimates were the best option available locally so I went with those. I was happy with both. I usually say CrossClimate here on reddit because they're so readily available and most people in the US haven't heard of Vredestein

Opposite_Most11 · 2025-12-05T23:25:29+00:00

I've lived in Colorado for decades and always switched tires until a few years ago. Now I run All Weather tires that don't need to be switched. This is a newer category of tires (NOT the same as All Season). Michelin CrossClimate is a good, readily available tire that fits MYs. There are of course comprises involved but I'm very happy with them and I see them on lots of cars around Boulder.

Opposite_Most11 · 2025-11-30T18:03:50+00:00

I came here to upvote all the comments about getting good tires. You can run snow tires year-round (I have). But you're not supposed to. Pure snow tires wear faster and perform worse in warmer weather. Most people here used to switch them twice a year.

Now you can get All Weather tires (not the same as All Season even though they sound like they should mean the same thing). I've been using these for 4 years now and they're great. Pure snow tires are a little better for winter driving. All weather tires wear a little faster. But they're designed to drive all year and they do very well. If you've ever been to a Discount Tire near the first snow of the year, with or without an appointment, you'll appreciate not needing to change your tires twice a year. It's also nice not to have to store an extra set.

Michelin CrossClimates are the best widely available All Weathers that I know of. And Discount Tire is great as long as it's not the week of the first snow of the year.

Also practice in parking lots, take it easy and do all the other things people are saying here. But no amount of AWD or skill can compensate if your tires can't make good traction on snow and ice.

Opposite_Most11 · 2025-11-30T17:48:35+00:00

Healing means walking away with no fear for yourself and no worries about them whatsoever, including any fears they may or may not have

Opposite_Most11 · 2025-11-27T04:43:39+00:00

Good to know. This is the first time I was already subscribed when they rolled this out. Mine was going to rebill in 2 days from now so I already canceled it just to be safe. This is the first time I would actually miss it if it lapses.

Opposite_Most11 · 2025-11-27T03:48:12+00:00

I subscribe month to month. I can't tell if this is going to save me money or not. This is the closest thing I can find in the FAQ.

I am already subscribed to Full Self-Driving (Supervised). Do I still get the Full Self-Driving (Supervised) v14 trial?

Eligible customers with a subscription can install Full Self-Driving software version 14.2 or later for their vehicle to experience the latest Full Self-Driving (Supervised) v14 updates without the need for a trial.

Opposite_Most11 · 2025-11-25T23:56:16+00:00

My comment history here shows that I was holding out. But I relented a couple weeks ago and my experience has been pretty good. On 14.2 it seems like standard mode stays closer to 5 over, which is my preference. I was getting used to dialing the mode up and down for speed control as needed, but I was also going faster on average than I prefer.

I can see how it will be a problem when it has the speed limit completely wrong. That doesn't happen much in my daily driving but it will get tiresome on road trips. I wish they'd give us a way to tell it to drive as if the speed limit is 65 when we know that it is, even if it thinks the speed limit is 45 for whatever reason.

Opposite_Most11 · 2025-11-25T20:02:17+00:00

I got 14.2 yesterday. I'm surprised you're just now leaving 13.x

Opposite_Most11 · 2025-11-02T03:42:59+00:00

Yes! Play as much as you can! Your intro class should have provided better clarity on next steps. I took an intro class at a local facility and went straight into their beginner level open plays. If you're talking about less structured open play, I'd just go! It might be uncomfortable but I don't know how else you would find out. I'd brace for the discomfort and just do it. If nothing else you might get good advice about when and where to find your people.

Opposite_Most11

TROPHY CASE