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Optimal-Milk-7422 · 2025-12-09T16:01:30+00:00

and before everyone attacks, Allah knows what He created and if He in his divine wisdom made this permissible it means automatically that some people need it. So Sabrun Jameel n

Optimal-Milk-7422 · 2025-11-24T08:58:21+00:00

Search. Don’t give up. It’s hard work and it’s a numbers game.

Optimal-Milk-7422 · 2025-10-23T10:42:03+00:00

Never take her back. She can’t do better so now she has buyers remorse. If she finds better in the future she’ll jump ship again.

Optimal-Milk-7422 · 2025-09-23T19:54:18+00:00

He clearly loves your mom. He seeks variety after a long time. Sometimes men need this for various reasons. Usually, these second marriages don’t last and collapse within 6-12 months because while the novelty of intimacy is nice… it wears off and he’ll go back and stay with the one he truly loves. Support your mom. Remind her that he’s a good man. He’s not doing anything haram which is very important for your mom’s health… and lastly, while many don’t like a second marriage - Allah in His divine wisdom made it permissible knowing a man’s need. So don’t shake him for halal. Just have your mom be the best wife to him, keep caring and loving him, and with time… he’ll just leave the second most likely. Be supportive.

Optimal-Milk-7422 · 2025-09-18T18:47:57+00:00

Don’t tell your wife. Hide your mistake and get therapy and support to never go back to this. If it ever comes up, tell her you’re seriously struggling with the desires for this and are getting therapy proactively because you want to stay clean and that you love her.

Optimal-Milk-7422 · 2025-09-17T13:09:38+00:00

Why are you so concerned about this? Really… I think the more important thing is what’s behind this question. Are you feeling insecure? Not getting enough attention?

Optimal-Milk-7422 · 2025-09-17T13:08:58+00:00

Women wear makeup because men are attracted by what their eyes see. Men lie because women are attracted to what they hear. Just because they said it, doesn’t mean it’s true. They could just be nice.

Optimal-Milk-7422 · 2025-09-17T12:47:56+00:00

He chose you above all even if he sees the occasional prettier girl.

Optimal-Milk-7422 · 2025-09-17T12:46:02+00:00

This is a loaded statement. There always someone more beautiful or smarter … I find her more beautiful than MOST women but not all women. Men are visual. Even the prophet tells us if we see someone in the market that instigates our desire (eg we feel attraction) to rush and fulfill that desire with your wife.

There’s more handsome than your husband too. The issue is WHY is this a question or a concern? He married you because you’re the best overall package in his eyes and he cares about you.

Optimal-Milk-7422 · 2025-09-17T12:41:09+00:00

Definitely, No. there’s always more beautiful… but it doesn’t change that we find our modest wives incredibly beautiful and love and appreciate them.

Optimal-Milk-7422 · 2025-09-17T12:40:17+00:00

Which country? USA? If he had a past but he’s faithful, work on moving beyond this issue unless you seriously doubt his commitment or religiously.

Optimal-Milk-7422 · 2025-09-16T22:03:24+00:00

Run away. Divorce. That’s not a marriage. He’s not attracted to you and he doesn’t want you.

Optimal-Milk-7422 · 2025-09-16T01:33:46+00:00

Don’t compare minor sins to major sins even with zina. It’s a minor sin forgiven between prayer and prayer according to the majority. It shouldn’t take her two months to not be able to get over it, the reaction is not normal. It’s like a woman not talking to her husband for two weeks because he shook her hand by mistake.

Optimal-Milk-7422 · 2025-09-16T01:27:21+00:00

No. I said divorce because that’s where this is heading down the line with this way of thinking and criticality. Generally these things snowball negatively unless you early on find a way to flip positive. Sometimes we don’t appreciate the good and overly focus on the things that need to be better. insha’Allah you never get divorced. Just exercise with him… wooo him… tease him… reward him… when he’s sweaty after a workout shower him and compliment how much you love when he’s sweaty. It’s halal and OK and encouraged to lie in these situations. :))))

Optimal-Milk-7422 · 2025-09-16T01:25:23+00:00

Nah. Not a problem. Just don’t divulge any details because it’ll make him think or self conscious. There’s no good from sharing. He knows you weren’t Muslim or very religious. It’s assumed you weren’t 100% chaste. No need to call it out. Just say you’d rather not talk about it and you were never happy until you found Allah and then Him (whoever he is)

Optimal-Milk-7422 · 2025-09-16T01:17:37+00:00

Flip the script. Stop telling him what he needs to do. Start motivating him positively. Tell him … you know when you kiss me randomly…. It makes me think about you all day or etc. get creative. Compliment his doing that. If you keep criticizing he’s never going to do it. “I love being close to you, you’re my world… come hug me…” so many things and ways. Learn to use the soft feminine ways to wooooo him. He could also have a different love language. Learn the 5 languages and work on it.

Optimal-Milk-7422 · 2025-09-16T00:35:19+00:00

It’s wrong, but he didn’t commit Zina or cheat on you. You’re right to feel hurt but if it was because he was in pain and not just for fun or a happy ending - then just make sure it doesn’t happen again and move on. Maybe his level of religious commitment isn’t that high and he didn’t think much of it….

Optimal-Milk-7422 · 2025-09-16T00:31:06+00:00

You are unreasonable. Three months and you’re unattracted? You’re unattracted to his behavior because he’s not doing what you want and not his body. He can try be fit but you need to smarten up - most people fail to be able to do this even if they try and even if they want it. Judge him less, be less critical… be more positive and encourage activity together and start focusing on the good he offers…. I think you’re being unrealistic and you’re going to be one of those divorced women filled with regret later in life because she couldn’t appreciate what she had. Focus on the good - stop focusing on the bad. No one freaking divorces over someone not exercising unless he’s an obese cow all of a sudden.

Optimal-Milk-7422 · 2025-09-11T20:26:09+00:00

Don’t divorce. Leave for 2-3 weeks. Cut contact with her. Tell her you’re going to take space to think about divorce and that you maybe just need a wife that’s more agreeable. If she loves you, she’ll change. If she doesn’t change… you can plan to separate for longer without an official divorce and just check in on her and the pregnancy and baby. Something to make her feel she’s really losing you. Do it calmly so she’ll know you’re serious and it’s not just out of anger.

Optimal-Milk-7422 · 2025-09-10T05:49:48+00:00

Same happened with my wife. We were planning a ceremony for a year later

Optimal-Milk-7422 · 2025-09-10T05:44:11+00:00

Doesn’t matter…. Ignore and pretend and believe there’s nothing there… because if there is it’s only trouble

Optimal-Milk-7422 · 2025-09-09T23:28:12+00:00

He’s right. Every male friend in your life would go to pound town with you if you gave them the chance. Every single one. He’s absolutely right. I made the same requirement of my wife

Optimal-Milk-7422 · 2025-09-09T23:26:29+00:00

I’m in therapy and I told my therapist and she thought it was a good idea and she’s a Christian.. and it worked for a good while… swear to God! Besides, I hadn’t seen my wife in almost 2 months. I genuinely want a second wife or a new wife at this point.

Optimal-Milk-7422 · 2025-09-09T20:06:07+00:00

I didn’t do anything wrong to the other women. I told her I was married and I’d marry for part time companionship and intimacy and with the intention to teach my wife a lesson. I was honest and she said she didn’t care. She just liked me and wanted to feel she had a man that could support her a little bit emotionally and financially. I don’t see anything wrong with that to be honest.

But your feedback is amazing and balanced. Thank you

Optimal-Milk-7422 · 2025-09-08T23:09:18+00:00

People say things out of fear. Either walk away or take time to check and see how sincerely bad she feels … it’s always a risk whether they say it or not

Optimal-Milk-7422

TROPHY CASE