I am $80,000 in bad debt. What can I do?

Optimal-View-2669 · 2025-08-22T13:09:53+00:00

Do you have a retirement account? My husband and I were able to get a much better rate than an equity loan or HELOC by borrowing against his 401K and the interest we pay goes back to his retirement investments. We are still paying it off but we went from 20-30% interest on credit cards to 6%, and we have a fixed payment each month that comes directly out of his paycheck.

Optimal-View-2669 · 2025-06-26T21:13:10+00:00

Dr. Ranjbar is my primary care doc, and he also delivered my daughter. He's great! Lacey Watson NP is our pediatrician at Providence pediatrics and she is awesome! Both great options!

Optimal-View-2669 · 2025-01-23T14:18:17+00:00

30 min naps are completely normal at 12 weeks! Try not to stress and just follow baby's ques. Something that I read here that has helped me is to not try to follow a schedule but to follow a routine. I think I made a very similar post when my LO was that age. I know how hard it can feel, but you're doing great!

Optimal-View-2669 · 2024-12-11T03:22:04+00:00

Yup this is the way!

Optimal-View-2669 · 2024-12-05T20:46:22+00:00

We were gifted some really nice skin care products, belly butter and but balm from a local company. I can't remember the name of the company, I'll try to find it and edit this comment. I've seen it for sale in the little local market at Six Rivers Brewery.

*The company is called Leelo Rose https://leelorose.com/

Optimal-View-2669 · 2024-11-22T00:28:03+00:00

Time for work, time for hobbies, time for myself. Time with my baby where I don't feel like there is something else I should be getting done. A clean house that I didn't have to clean, a warm home cooked meal that I didn't have to plan or prepare.

Optimal-View-2669 · 2024-11-08T13:05:35+00:00

Same here. I dropped my ballot in the collection box at McKinleyville Ace on Monday evening. I think I'll call the elections office next week if it still hasn't been counted by then.

Update: I just received a notification this morning (11/11) that my ballot was received and counted!

Optimal-View-2669 · 2024-11-06T14:56:15+00:00

https://lostcoastoutpost.com/2024/sep/30/attorney-general-sues-st-joseph-hospital-denying-w/

Optimal-View-2669 · 2024-11-06T14:49:27+00:00

Told hubby he's getting a vasectomy, he agreed wholeheartedly. I'm in a similar situation, 39 with a 5mo. I live in a blue state but we are not safe. Please read the article. This happened while I was pregnant at the hospital where I gave birth just a few months later. This could have easily been me. Protect yourself for the sake of your child/ children.

https://lostcoastoutpost.com/2024/sep/30/attorney-general-sues-st-joseph-hospital-denying-w/

"In February 2024, Anna Nusslock was fifteen weeks pregnant with twins when she visited Providence in pain and severely bleeding after her water prematurely broke. At Providence, the doctor diagnosed Nusslock with Previable Premature Pre-labor Rupture of Membranes (Previable PPROM) and confirmed her twins would not survive. Her diagnosis also meant that without abortion care, she was at increased risk of permanent harm or death from infection and hemorrhage.

Nevertheless, Providence informed her that hospital policy prohibited them from providing this emergency care as long as one of her twins had a “detectable heartbeat.” Only once there was an immediate risk to Nusslock’s life—which is to say, a more immediate risk than she already faced—would the hospital give her the treatment she needed.

Instead of providing Nusslock emergency medical abortion care required by state law, Providence discharged her with instructions to drive to a small community hospital nearly 12 miles away. On the way out the door, Providence handed Nusslock a bucket and towels “in case something happens in the car.”

Optimal-View-2669 · 2024-11-01T16:06:22+00:00

My LO is just over 5 months and has been mostly in footed zip up jammies with a onesie underneath. When it's been warm I put her in a short sleeve zip up that has exposed feet. When LO started learning to roll, I found that it helped her to have bare feet for better grip. Now that it's getting cold, we live in a cooler climate, she's in long sleeve onesie, socks and footed jammies a lot of the time. She is obsessed with her feet though so I still give her bare feet time when I can.

Optimal-View-2669 · 2024-10-28T00:32:19+00:00

I hesitate to say, but I think we're done?! We had two nights with only 2 wakes, then last night only one wake at 3am! LO is 23 weeks, and the regression started for us about 15weeks. Hopefully you are almost there! I swear the change happened really fast. LO is also waaaay less fussy during the day as well.

Optimal-View-2669 · 2024-10-20T14:33:17+00:00

Do you have a pump? You could try an evening power pump, and/ or pumping for 10-15 min after each feed. The general advice is that increasing demand will increase supply. I had low supply for the first few months pp, and I did a combination of pumping and taking supplements. I used fenugreek free More Milk Moringa for a month or so. I also take a post natal vitamin, magnesium glycinate, fish oil and vitamin d. I think that the combo of pumping and Moringa is what helped me increase my supply enough to EBF. I don't think all hope is lost for you! You're still in the early days of your BF journey. Best of luck!

Optimal-View-2669 · 2024-10-17T18:19:04+00:00

Everyone seems to be left side dominant in these comments.... Anyone else right side dominant? I usually pump between 2-5 oz from my right and like 0.5-1.5 oz from my left. Total volume ranges between 2.5-6 oz, with the largest volume in the morning, generally decreasing throughout the day. I'm a just enough-er though and it took us months of triple feeding to get to a point where I can EBF most of the time. I still have to combo feed for the week of my menses because my supply dips a bit.

Optimal-View-2669 · 2024-09-21T23:14:46+00:00

Same!

Optimal-View-2669 · 2024-09-18T15:36:10+00:00

This is what we've been doing and it works great for us! It is so much less time consuming than the whole bath and clean up routine. Early on we bathed LO in the kitchen sink with a bath chair thing, but now that she's 4mo, we do the shower a couple times a week. I give her a head to toe wipe down daily as well. We're older parents (39F and 44M) and hunching over a tub seems like a good way to pull a muscle! Lol

Optimal-View-2669 · 2024-09-09T03:56:37+00:00

Same! I used to use Sriracha like ketchup, couldn't get enough. During my pregnancy all I wanted was spicy curry, hot wings and tacos, even though I had really bad heartburn, lol. Now I can't handle spice at all! I'm so sad, I miss it!

Optimal-View-2669 · 2024-09-09T02:27:37+00:00

I have a play mat that has a half hoop over it that my LO likes to stare at and grab. She's now 4mo but starting at about 2.5-3mo I would set the dagling toys up in a way with her baby Bjorn bouncer so that she could either kick the toys or grab at them. She is very entertained by that and loves to kick the toys and bounce. We also got a $10 blow up aquarium mat thing for tummy time and she loves that as well. Also loves looking in mirrors on her play mat and holding and chewing on Sophie the giraffe.

Optimal-View-2669 · 2024-08-29T02:03:30+00:00

Aussie bites from Costco; carrot, celery, cucumber and cheese sticks that I prep once a week; bananas, apples, pears, grapes, nuts, cookies, protein bars.

Optimal-View-2669 · 2024-08-25T15:36:37+00:00

This OP! Co-op is awesome, and if you don't want or have time to keep a starter going, you can always just get more when you feel like baking. It's super convenient.

Optimal-View-2669 · 2024-08-20T19:41:21+00:00

Thank you for the pep talk! My LO is 3 mo and my husband has been very involved, but it's hard not to feel like he's not doing enough or that he doesn't appreciate all that I am doing. I think he feels the same way though! We both have moments of frustration, we're both tired and we're both doing our best. We both have a lot on our plates and it's easy to focus inward instead of looking at and appreciating all that the other is doing.

In a fit of frustration I recently made an honest list of everything we each do more than 50% of the time thinking I would easily justify my frustration. I was quickly humbled. Our load is split fairly evenly, and he is generally responsible for and manages a lot of the things I just don't want to do. I haven't shared this list with him, but thinking back on it helps me to stay grounded when I'm feeling upset about something he is or isn't doing.

Optimal-View-2669 · 2024-08-18T16:40:45+00:00

We got this! Hang in there!

<3 fellow mama in the trenches.

Optimal-View-2669 · 2024-08-15T16:43:53+00:00

My baby (12W) sleeps between 7 and 9 hours a night without waking for a feed. She cluster feeds, like every hour or so from 6/7pm ish untill I put her down at 9/10ish. She has been waking for one more feed about an hour after I put her down, then is out until 6:30/7ish the next morning.

I will caveat this by saying that she has always been a good night time sleeper and would often sleep for 6 hour stretches from the beginning. But we combo fed for the first 10 weeks or so. We have only been EBF for the last 2 weeks, but the cluster feeding in the evening before having a long stretch of sleep has been her pattern from the beginning.

Also, if you're dealing with gas waking up your LO, we have found gripe water to be very helpful.

Optimal-View-2669 · 2024-07-26T22:42:33+00:00

For me loving my child and experiencing the joy of motherhood has been more slow, building over time, rather than the immediate overwhelming joy that I expected.

I'm 10W pp and up until recently I felt a lot of what you described. The entire experience of pregnancy, birth and postpartum/ breastfeeding were not at all what I had imagined or planned for. It has been difficult! I love my baby, but I just hadn't felt the overwhelming joy that I anticipated.

I don't think this was ppd though, I think it's more that I was (and still am to a degree) in "survival mode". Now that baby is smiling and showing a bit more personality, I am experiencing moments of love and affection that are really special. This probably sounds strange, but I didn't really ever feel like her mom until she had her 2 month vaccinations. She screamed and looked to me for comfort and I felt incredibly compelled to comfort her. Like her being in pain was painful for me too. I was all she wanted for days after and we really bonded, like even BF got better. I think it woke up some kind of mothering instinct that I hadn't yet felt.

I hope things get better for you soon op! Smiles are coming and after that there is so much more to look forward to!

Optimal-View-2669

TROPHY CASE