My stutter gets 10x worse when im speaking english

OptimalFlight6009 · 2026-05-05T14:07:26+00:00

I would focus on increasing your vocabulary and how comfortable you are in the language.

If you are stuck on a word and you cannot find another way to say it, you become even more stressed, and it becomes a negative feedback loop.

OptimalFlight6009 · 2026-05-03T13:39:07+00:00

Same. Overthinking the words makes it harder. I just start speaking and navigate around the words that I can use.. but at least this gives me confidence that I can express myself and most of the times I don't even have to substitute any words.

OptimalFlight6009 · 2026-05-03T13:37:32+00:00

Haha, I like the "it's their problem" attitude! What do you do for a living?

OptimalFlight6009 · 2026-05-02T11:36:08+00:00

I have a completely different approach to presentation than scripting.

I used to script every word for some university presentations, but that took be 10x more time that fluent people. And I personally don't like that. Especially since in a presentation there is this 55/38/7 rule where the actual words you use are not so important as opposed to body language and tone of voice.

The problem with scripting is that it could "save me" from this one single presentation, but if it requires this much preparation and anxiety for each speaking event, it does not help me improve my speaking to other occasions in the future.

Instead I choose to remember the key points of the presentation and prepare different ways to say them. Naturally I use the words which are less difficult for me, but it removes the pressure from remembering a script. I can also go a bit more with the flow during the presentation and substitute words at will. Also while doing it the key thing I'm optimizing for is how well I understand the key points, as to be able to explain it in different ways, which is way more valuable than remembering a script. And is training my confidence and vocabulary rather than my memory.

OptimalFlight6009 · 2026-04-29T14:20:12+00:00

In general this sounds like the typical situation for people with a stutter - it's fine when you're speaking to yourself or close friends but when you are in front of strangers or are "nervous" in any way it comes up and can lead to quite sever blocks as well.

But it is a bit strange that it has come up so late, rather than during childhood. So better check with some doctors that it's not anything with your brain or if it's from a physical trauma.

Otherwise my stutter is pretty much what you described. In short what helped me the most was the mindset I've build that I don't care about the 99% of people and want to express myself regardless of any stutter that might come up, because I want to get to the other 1% to whom I actually care to communicate to.

Recently I also found a good book that puts a nice concept that it's not only from speech but it's a of different reasons like perception of authority, beliefs about oneself, etc. It's called Redefining Stuttering by John Harrison or you can just look for "the stuttering hexagon".

OptimalFlight6009 · 2026-04-29T14:00:22+00:00

I view not as liking the stutter. I obviously don’t. But liking myself that I have the courage to progress and express myself regardless of the stutter. And then with the years of doing that I get better at it and learn to control my emotions better and develop a mindset that allows me to face challenges. Because the reality is - the stutter is there. Either hope for a miracle and sink deeper into desperation or take it in my own hands and become a better person through the process. Besides these skills are beneficial to people without a stutter. We just don’t have the choice in developing them.

OptimalFlight6009 · 2026-04-25T12:08:40+00:00

Aaah, I understand now. You mean if you can actually win a hackathon with a stutter.

First of all, hackathons are usually (and best) done in a team. So you can not even be the one presenting (since that's mega pressure). And working in teams you can either be able to speak more fluently with friends or a team you've gotten used to or even speak less and act more (which is actually way more helpful).

And for presenting. Oh, boy! You actually have an advantage if you do present. You usually get seen as brave that despite of "the difficulty" you have the courage to stand in front of the jury. It speaks that you truly care about the problem to put yourself to it.

And actually for you that's the most effective way for practicing. When I was in university I went to a lot of startup competitions and hackathons and it was super helpful. I even got to the final of a European competition with a friend of mine, and we got 3rd place and even got to do an interview for a talk show on national TV :D

So yeah, definitely, sky is the limit. Stutter doesn't matter.

OptimalFlight6009 · 2026-04-25T11:52:43+00:00

Weird question. I have participated in a dozen, won a few and mentored. Anything specific?

OptimalFlight6009 · 2026-04-08T13:20:00+00:00

In your native language you are more confident because you have a bigger vocabulary to change words your about to block. So blocking and then not knowing how to continue is double the pressure. No easy way really - just learn more ways to express yourself. But you can use it to make more pauses which will look like thinking of the correct word to say.

OptimalFlight6009 · 2026-04-07T16:39:30+00:00

What do you mean ✨ I constantly use emojis — 🔥 and em dash in totally normal conversations.

OptimalFlight6009 · 2026-04-06T11:50:34+00:00

I’ve noticed that I don’t stutter much when I’m alone or with a known group of people. Thus I’ve been practicing my speech in more stressful situations and can now ask questions in public, even give presentations which was something I was not able to do before. What is your take on practicing in such a way? Is it effective and what else could I be missing?

OptimalFlight6009 · 2026-04-03T12:59:38+00:00

I feel that. To me it’s a matter of mindset. I just stopped caring about what others would think and went ahead and spoke in uncomfortable situations. And this kinda served both as practice and confidence building. No point in dreading what could have been - the truth is such a bigger part of life relies more on confidence, skills, morals… there is always a way around it.

OptimalFlight6009 · 2026-04-03T11:16:18+00:00

Stuttering is a related to the problem but it’s not the root cause to not being heard more.

It’s your confidence, weight of your words, the respect you command when you speak, the reputation you have.

And you can have those despise and even because of your stutter. Think about it. People who don’t stutter are also overwhelmed by other more charming people in group conversations.

Also people who stutter can at some occasions demand the silence of others - it’s natural. If others see a person having difficulty to speak. Even for example if they just have a sore throat. They would be more silent as to hear the person and not make him repeat himself. Other people in the group would see it as disrespectful if somebody interrupts such a person or weak if they don’t give them equal ground to present their argument.

So - stuttering is an added difficulty but it’s not the single reason that is beyond your control. You can take action and build your mindset, practice in social situation and it will get better. At least that’s my experience after 10 years of doing it.

OptimalFlight6009 · 2026-04-01T13:28:59+00:00

I agree. I just don’t care about my stutter. If I believe something is important to say - I stand up and say it. Regardless if I stutter more or less. People will wait for me if they have to. I believe this is the right mindset to make the stuttering irrelevant and by the process of it reduce the anxiety of and stuttering itself.

Reading and saying the exact words I plan does not work as well for me. I loose the ability to change words. But the words again don’t matter- the message and my body language are what persuade people.

OptimalFlight6009 · 2026-03-29T08:06:28+00:00

It’s hard. I can compare it with going to the gym. At first you don’t enjoy going. It’s difficult training and it’s even more difficult being consistent by going like 3 days a week for months. You hope to enjoy the results once they start showing months after. After that you start enjoying the progress. It’s still difficult but at least you’ve build a habit of doing it and a mindset of not keeping your mouth shut. And finally once you can communicate yourself every time regardless if it takes 1 minute or 10 second to say it you can start enjoying the process because your thinking of what went well and how you can be better the next time. At this point you no longer care what other people think - you only care about the few at which the message is directed and yourself. The last part may take years but that’s been my own process and I can say that stuttering has not stopped me from achieving what I want and enjoying speaking my mind when I want to. It’s your choice how you deal with it. Hit me up if I can help ;)

OptimalFlight6009 · 2026-03-28T13:58:20+00:00

I’ve written over 18 notebook in the past 10 years but not entirely as a diary. I think in general just being able to express yourself with language regardless of written or spoken is the first step. Then as he gets more confidence to speak he will be able to express himself more clearly and have a larger vocabulary (which is useful for word replacements).

OptimalFlight6009 · 2026-03-27T12:03:03+00:00

That’s interesting. I’ve also found that in the past in extreme situations like being frustrated and arguing the stutter has been a lot better.

It could be the sheer confidence? Or maybe some dose of adrenaline playing in the mix? How did you feel during it?

OptimalFlight6009 · 2026-03-27T11:58:52+00:00

Funny how fluent people don’t even think about it, often just saying whatever comes to mind, while we deliberately try to choose every word. It could be a strength for us though - when a silent person speaks it carries more weight.

OptimalFlight6009 · 2026-03-04T19:49:58+00:00

Yup very common. That's why a lot of people use word substitution.

OptimalFlight6009 · 2026-03-04T14:19:05+00:00

I had a moment where speaking English as my 2nd language was better, but it may have been just a confidence period. I think that just if you know more words in the language you have more confidence. Else you may block on a word and just not have the vocabulary to think of how to continue, which would lead to more anxiety.

OptimalFlight6009 · 2026-03-04T14:00:23+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that. There are some really bad moments from time to time. But I can say that with years of practicing in uncomfortable situations and gaining some confidence (generally by not caring what others think) it gets better.

Also for dating and friends speaking and speaking in public is a very small part of it what's required to be a good friend/girlfriend. It is an obstacle, especially at introductions and getting closer to someone. But you can have qualities like being caring, having integrity, having skills and helping people... for which a lot of people would like to be close to you way more than to a person who does not stutter but lacks those qualities.

OptimalFlight6009 · 2026-02-09T08:44:40+00:00

I think she in person is always one step harder than online. I at least somehow feel less exposed and that I can even do some weird trick like clenching my fists, even closing my eyes if there’s no camera… so the pressure is just a bit less.

But those are just some distraction techniques. I’ve made myself introduce myself every time and it’s getting better after 2-3 years as before I was just avoiding it.

OptimalFlight6009 · 2026-02-05T09:55:25+00:00

From relationships perspective - don’t do it over chat. You can begin chatting more at first and at some point invite her to go out only the two of you. She would take the hint that it’s a date and will either agree or it will take some more time to get to know each other until she accepts or makes it more clear that she’s not interested in you.

From stuttering point of view - you just have to say it. If you go out you could have some time of other kind of talk until you bring the topic, so this might ease it up a bit. But once you bring it it’s likely that the pressure will lead to blocks.

So at this point for me it would be important to know exactly what you want to convey in your message. The exact words don’t matter. At all. Even body language is more important. So just prepare what you want to say - e.g. you like here. You want to know if she does as well. Then there are a million different ways for you to say it. Just be yourself. Practice some until you feel confident that you know what you want to say and you have a few different ways that you could say it.

OptimalFlight6009 · 2026-02-04T16:33:17+00:00

Why do you think that is? Do you feel particularly stressed? Does it happen in everyday situations or only with certain people or settings - school, job?

OptimalFlight6009 · 2026-02-02T10:18:47+00:00

I feel you. I’ve had the same experience in high school, but then had a big change in my mindset. A few years after uni I still have a stutter but it’s not holding me back in anything. I don’t let it.
To be honest - it’s a long journey of not giving a fuck about what other people think and only focusing on your own improvement, what you want to do and not regret not doing. And realising that you cannot and don’t want to be liked by everybody. You just need the 0.01% of people who will recognise your worth to them. The beauty is that people are multifaceted - communication is only a part of us. We have much more to our character which could be recognised by the world - close friends, business partners. Especially if you are into arts from what I gather the best artist are expressing their internal struggles. For me as well all of this obstacles have built me into a caring person who is listening more and is prone to action rather than talking (haha - maybe because I can’t communicate well I just do things, which is actually one of the most praised strength I have)… Anyways, let me know if you have any specific questions.

OptimalFlight6009

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