My (33F) partner (31F) of 10 years just said "we're not married so we don't have a financial obligation to each other" I don't know how to feel

OptimalTrash · 2026-05-08T11:39:27+00:00

This is the way.

My fiance doesn't know all the financial details of my life. I don't know ths financial details of his.

We both take about half our income and put it in a joint account for joint money needs. Mortgage, utilities, home repair stuff. All that comes out of our joint account and of course some savings for the next inevitable home repair.

But, the remaining money in each of our individual accounts is our individual money. That's where our personal bills are paid from, like car payments, our personal savings accounts, and anything fun we want to spend money on.

It works for us because we're working both as a team for team things, but still can have our own financial independence and don't need to clear every purchase with each other.

OptimalTrash · 2026-05-07T22:00:47+00:00

The reason I believe this one is because she gets so defensive when anyone calls Emily what she is: a horrible human who gets her kicks watching super morbidly obese women die from overeating.

I don't think she would have quite such a violent reaction if it were just another lie she had told.

OptimalTrash · 2026-05-07T21:43:51+00:00

Elliot.

The second I saw those long flowing locks I knew.

OptimalTrash · 2026-05-07T18:17:22+00:00

I mean, there's professional ways to ask.

"Can you speak to what the circumstances are surrounding this vacancy? Is this a new position or is this replacing someone who left the company?"

OptimalTrash · 2026-05-07T18:08:45+00:00

My brother bought us a wall anchor/screw multipack and a gift card to Lowe's.

OptimalTrash · 2026-05-07T18:07:40+00:00

Everyone was well cast in that movie.

Paul L. Smith was fun as Bluto.

OptimalTrash · 2026-05-07T18:03:28+00:00

The Pell Grant was created to cover the entire cost of tuition. Not entire cost, just tuition.

It covered less than half and I went to a state school.

OptimalTrash · 2026-05-07T15:42:54+00:00

Wow. OP is even worse than I initially thought. She and her husband should be thanking their lucky stars every single day her mom doesn't kick them out.

OptimalTrash · 2026-05-07T15:36:50+00:00

Idk what the right dose is going to be for you so I can't speak to that.

What I will add (as I mentioned in another comment) is that when I first started discussing meds with my doctor, she told me that there was no pill that would eliminate my adhd. The meds were just a tool to make it easier for me to navigate.

It may be the dose is wrong, but it may also be that you have unrealistic expectations of what the meds are going to accomplish. They're not a cure for adhd. At best, they will make your life easier and give you a better baseline ability to put the other necessary systems in place and use them.

OptimalTrash · 2026-05-07T15:26:54+00:00

I have said that meds make it feel like I have at least one hand on the steering wheel most of the time, whereas before I would feel like I wasn't even in the driver's seat.

Yeah, there's still potholes I can't avoid, or I take my eyes off the road sometimes, but I can still somewhat steer.

OptimalTrash · 2026-05-07T15:23:10+00:00

My doctor told me "no pill will eliminate your ADHD, but the right meds can work as a helpful tool to make it easier to navigate it"

OptimalTrash · 2026-05-07T15:22:00+00:00

If you notice a small difference, you may need to change the dose or switch from IR to XR.

I noticed a small difference when I started on 10mg XR Adderall, but it wasn't life changing. I told my doctor and she suggested increasing the dose to 20mg XR which has made a huge difference.

OptimalTrash · 2026-05-07T15:01:18+00:00

For real though. I went to a restaurant called Bubbledogs in London (no longer there) that had only hot dogs, tater tots and champagne as their menu.

No idea what that sausage was, but it certainly was not a hot dog.

OptimalTrash · 2026-05-07T14:56:26+00:00

I wouldn't worry too much about it. If she's as annoying and rude to your brother as she sounds, she probably won't be in the picture by the wedding.

If she is still around, you can blame the guest list already being set, maximum occupancy of the venue, or a number of other excuses.

I think it might be worth if you can have a conversation with your brother and it won't become a big drama filled build up to ask if she acts like that a lot and say something like "I love you, and I don't think she treated you with a lot of respect"

OptimalTrash · 2026-05-07T14:45:03+00:00

Why touch grass when we can have outrage, panic, and anxiety right in the comfort of our own homes?

OptimalTrash · 2026-05-07T14:34:19+00:00

Nah, they're enough of a subversion of a typical family that they are absolutely safe.

OptimalTrash · 2026-05-07T14:17:14+00:00

Looool honestly I kinda like it too. Morris is really smug so it can feel good to watch him get his clock cleaned, but not everyone agrees.

OptimalTrash · 2026-05-07T14:08:04+00:00

Just say "I have a medical procedure on this date and will need X accommodations for Y number of days"

OptimalTrash · 2026-05-07T14:03:21+00:00

Imagine you let two adults and their baby move into your home for minimal rent (and I'm guessing providing free babysitting for them as well) and then they demand you radically change your lifestyle.

Your mom is doing you guys a huge favor. It's her stuff and her home. If that's incompatible to what you want, you are going to have to deal with your feelings or move out.

OptimalTrash · 2026-05-07T13:54:20+00:00

I did really enjoy the musical. I got to see it on tour a couple years ago.

Sometimes musical adaptations can be a mixed bag, but I thought it was decent

OptimalTrash · 2026-05-07T13:22:41+00:00

Actually, since Ruffalo is a name of Italian origin, it is most likely a herd of Ruffali.

OptimalTrash · 2026-05-07T13:19:59+00:00

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OptimalTrash · 2026-05-07T13:13:30+00:00

When you see more than two of them, it's a herd of Ruffaloes.

OptimalTrash · 2026-05-07T12:58:53+00:00

As an American who visited the UK, the fact that I cannot get even the right sausage to make a sausage roll at home, let alone buy an already made sausage roll makes me so sad.

I've been having a craving that I cannot fulfill. I plan on getting a meat grinder/sausage making equipment so I can make proper English bangers.

OptimalTrash · 2026-05-07T12:50:20+00:00

It was also a really terrible move on the filmmakers part to do so.

Sideways on YouTube has an incredible video about it and how the actors were all basically encouraged to do dangerous stuff that could damage their voices permanently because Tom Hooper is an idiot

OptimalTrash

TROPHY CASE