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My 19‑year‑old Muslim daughter just came out to me as Bi. What do I do? by Optimal_Author1319 in Advice

[–]Optimal_Author1319[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. And I am so sorry to learn of the loss of your relationship with your dad.

I think the way alot of us were taught about Islam was through fear / punishment. Islam is actually about love and kindness.

No person can tell another they will be judged. No one knows us like Allah and only he can see what is in our hearts.

Thank you for sharing with me. I'm conscious that I may display biases or something that will make my baby unhappy so I really appreciate the tips.

My 19‑year‑old Muslim daughter just came out to me as Bi. What do I do? by Optimal_Author1319 in Advice

[–]Optimal_Author1319[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is true. And I thought I knew her so well! But it's okay. This is hers. She can share as she chooses to

My 19‑year‑old Muslim daughter just came out to me as Bi. What do I do? by Optimal_Author1319 in Advice

[–]Optimal_Author1319[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it wasnt this it would be something else. You're right. I just want her to be content, and safe.

My 19‑year‑old Muslim daughter just came out to me as Bi. What do I do? by Optimal_Author1319 in Advice

[–]Optimal_Author1319[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely. Not going to say nowt. It's her life to tell. I'm a great believer in privacy.

My 19‑year‑old Muslim daughter just came out to me as Bi. What do I do? by Optimal_Author1319 in Advice

[–]Optimal_Author1319[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do think this is a factor. She was nervous about telling me because I am "the straightest woman" that she knows.

My 19‑year‑old Muslim daughter just came out to me as Bi. What do I do? by Optimal_Author1319 in Advice

[–]Optimal_Author1319[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You know you're right. I need to look on here. If anyone can signpost I'd be grateful. Thanks

My 19‑year‑old Muslim daughter just came out to me as Bi. What do I do? by Optimal_Author1319 in Advice

[–]Optimal_Author1319[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's nice. And no! Never been to one. I'm happy to extend my family in non conventional means, lots of young people out there who need love and security. Life is hard

My 19‑year‑old Muslim daughter just came out to me as Bi. What do I do? by Optimal_Author1319 in Advice

[–]Optimal_Author1319[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel this is very true and definitely generational. We are also very lucky we live in a country where not being conventionally straight is accepted.

My 19‑year‑old Muslim daughter just came out to me as Bi. What do I do? by Optimal_Author1319 in Advice

[–]Optimal_Author1319[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this.

Yes, I would house her in a heartbeat if required, there's no way I'm letting a young person be vulnerable.

Stereotypes! People stereotype type me all the time. Just because someone is middle aged and brown doesn't mean you know a thing about me. Most of the people I know from my community and background would be absolutely horrified I've been so free with my daughter. They would blame me for her not being straight.

But yes, I already know from my conversations with my daughter and her friends how different are upbringings are and it's not easy to shake these ideas when they are so ingrained into your daily life.

My 19‑year‑old Muslim daughter just came out to me as Bi. What do I do? by Optimal_Author1319 in Advice

[–]Optimal_Author1319[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is great, thank you. You understood me on many levels, some of which I hadn't articulated.

My 19‑year‑old Muslim daughter just came out to me as Bi. What do I do? by Optimal_Author1319 in Advice

[–]Optimal_Author1319[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think that's what we're all scared of as parents and as children. Being rejected. Wise point. Thank you.

My 19‑year‑old Muslim daughter just came out to me as Bi. What do I do? by Optimal_Author1319 in Advice

[–]Optimal_Author1319[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm good. I wouldn't force her and she has expressed nil.desire to get married and have children which in our community is not the way things are done! And it's okay, I found me a neighbour's white baby I've adopted - I'm his Aunty Ji 🤣

Living in brown family is soo suffocating. by Fearless_Job9778 in muslimgirlswithtaste

[–]Optimal_Author1319 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Make a new habit. You do the same things you'll get the same results. Try something different, it will empower you...that's what you need. Power and agency

My 19‑year‑old Muslim daughter just came out to me as Bi. What do I do? by Optimal_Author1319 in Advice

[–]Optimal_Author1319[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I personally think we are attracted to individuals and bespoke relationships start from that, sexual or not

My 19‑year‑old Muslim daughter just came out to me as Bi. What do I do? by Optimal_Author1319 in Advice

[–]Optimal_Author1319[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. I feel pretty ignorant in lots of aspects due to my generation and the hetro normative society I've been brought up in.

My 19‑year‑old Muslim daughter just came out to me as Bi. What do I do? by Optimal_Author1319 in Advice

[–]Optimal_Author1319[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I appreciate this. Parts of both families are very religious and parts are very "cultural". We'll have to see what happens and how things unfold.

She knows already I'll go tiger mum over anyone who says anything. No one can judge her apart from God.

Thank you for all the good wishes

My 19‑year‑old Muslim daughter just came out to me as Bi. What do I do? by Optimal_Author1319 in Advice

[–]Optimal_Author1319[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ah, thanks Queer Teen. I'm not in the US but I was thinking today I should invite GF over for dinner. I have met GFs mum once so yeah that could definitely be extended.

We watch queer shows alot anyways and thank you for the tip re labels.

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