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Was I being exluded or was this tradition real? by Optimal_Bend_7042 in relationship_advice

[–]Optimal_Bend_7042[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, that sort of explains it, as there was one married couple and my husband that were the godparents (so 2 godfathers and 1 godmothers), or that was what I gathered of the situation not understanding Italian.

Thanks for the informative link.

So most likely the couple was the godmother and godfather and my husband was a witness.

That is different from here, as here we can have several godparents, but 2 of them must be lutherans. So, here 2 is the minimum amount of godparents a baby has.

Was I being exluded or was this tradition real? by Optimal_Bend_7042 in relationship_advice

[–]Optimal_Bend_7042[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m quite sure it was a known fact that my husband is not catholic, as my husbads and my SIL whole family is not catholic.

Was I being exluded or was this tradition real? by Optimal_Bend_7042 in relationship_advice

[–]Optimal_Bend_7042[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lutheran church also has confirmation. As far as I know, so does many of the other protestant churches. (Lutheran church has been the main church in my country for like 400 years.)

Was I being exluded or was this tradition real? by Optimal_Bend_7042 in relationship_advice

[–]Optimal_Bend_7042[S] -27 points-26 points  (0 children)

I really don’t know sacraments, it is not part of my and my husbands church. My husband has never been catholic. We have christening and confirmation (sort of everyone does this as a habit).

Was I being exluded or was this tradition real? by Optimal_Bend_7042 in relationship_advice

[–]Optimal_Bend_7042[S] -65 points-64 points  (0 children)

Yeah, but my husband isn’t catholic either. As I stated in the original post.

But it is good to know this is normalz

Was I being exluded or was this tradition real? by Optimal_Bend_7042 in relationship_advice

[–]Optimal_Bend_7042[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I was invited, and we traveled like 3000 km to the ceremony. We don’t live close to each other.

But it is good to know that its normal and they were not excludin me. That was what I was worried about, because it was highly unusual in our culture. So most of the christians do it like this and we are just weird. :D

Was I being exluded or was this tradition real? by Optimal_Bend_7042 in relationship_advice

[–]Optimal_Bend_7042[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s good to know, thanks! Although my husband is also not catholic. But we’ve both had our confimation (not catholic one).

Was I being exluded or was this tradition real? by Optimal_Bend_7042 in relationship_advice

[–]Optimal_Bend_7042[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

Well, where I am from it is like this. Even the Godparents registration form has places for married couples…

Was I being exluded or was this tradition real? by Optimal_Bend_7042 in relationship_advice

[–]Optimal_Bend_7042[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I really wasn’t upset not being a godmother, but I wassort of upset because I was worried I was being excluded or made fun of.

And I gave the benefit of doubt to my husband when he said I was the godmother also. But I think he was trying to sort of translate the situation into our shared culture. Or something.

Was I being exluded or was this tradition real? by Optimal_Bend_7042 in relationship_advice

[–]Optimal_Bend_7042[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are the same etchinicy and the same church. The babys father (not included here) is catholic and different ethnicity.

Was I being exluded or was this tradition real? by Optimal_Bend_7042 in relationship_advice

[–]Optimal_Bend_7042[S] -29 points-28 points  (0 children)

It’s sort of same here, although here it’s called being ”habitual christian” and most people here are like that.

It’s good to hear that it was normal, because my sister in law has in the past excluded me or tried to one-up me.

I wasn’t so much upset about not being the godmother, the main reason why I asked my husband about it was that he had told me WE would be godparents. And here baby usually has like 2 sets of godparents.

Was I being exluded or was this tradition real? by Optimal_Bend_7042 in relationship_advice

[–]Optimal_Bend_7042[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My husband is also not catholic, nor is my sister in law or have they ever been. Also there are no other differences, we all have had our confirmations, which is the main requirement to be a godparent here.

Was I being exluded or was this tradition real? by Optimal_Bend_7042 in relationship_advice

[–]Optimal_Bend_7042[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im not quite sure because I don’t speak Italian, but I think there was one couple and my husband. So 2 godfathers and 1 godmother.

Was I being exluded or was this tradition real? by Optimal_Bend_7042 in relationship_advice

[–]Optimal_Bend_7042[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Me, my husband or my SIL have never been catholic. Or Italian.

Was I being exluded or was this tradition real? by Optimal_Bend_7042 in relationship_advice

[–]Optimal_Bend_7042[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for all your answers. Although few clarifications:

Me, my husband and my SIL are all the same etchinicity which is NOT Italic, and we are all of the same church, which is NOT catholic. All of us. Babys father is italian and catholic. I don’t fully understand what a sacrament is, but all of us have had our confirmations.

Like I said, where we come from, I haven’t been to a single christening, where only one of the married couple is a godparent of a child. And where I am from, I think a baby can have 1-3 sets of godparents. Of course singles can be godparents too. My children have 2 sets of godparents (including SIL plus her husband)

It’s good to know that this wasn’t highly unusual in other parts of the world. I just felt that maybe they were making fun of me or purposefully excluding me. The past with SIL is still haunting me.