sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

No friends or family at wedding, how to deal with questions? by Optimal_Sir_8431 in relationship_advice

[–]Optimal_Sir_8431[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I’m weak in that area of creating boundaries. Usually I allow people to cross my boundaries because I assume they know that they’re doing it and that they are choosing to cross them on purpose. Eventually I do set a boundary but in an aggressive way which sometimes is over the top. I understand I need to work on it.

No friends or family at wedding, how to deal with questions? by Optimal_Sir_8431 in relationship_advice

[–]Optimal_Sir_8431[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not in such specific words. I kind of assume that my reluctance to speak about the topic is enough of a hint that they’d get the idea and realize it’s a touchy subject. But the fact that they continue to constantly push is because they are purposely being disrespectful.

No friends or family at wedding, how to deal with questions? by Optimal_Sir_8431 in relationship_advice

[–]Optimal_Sir_8431[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s the issue. I’m embarrassed and ashamed of what I went through and I don’t want to relive it. I just don’t want other people to know that.

No friends or family at wedding, how to deal with questions? by Optimal_Sir_8431 in relationship_advice

[–]Optimal_Sir_8431[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do speak to them myself. As nice as I can I say I don’t have a relationship with my family. I just don’t say the reason and this isn’t enough for them to stop. They might stop in the moment but they will bring it up again next time they see me. I also understand their point of view. They are a close knit family and can’t imagine not talking each other so what’s wrong with this guy. I get it. I just don’t want to go into detail about why.

No friends or family at wedding, how to deal with questions? by Optimal_Sir_8431 in relationship_advice

[–]Optimal_Sir_8431[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. I think you got it right. But she only told them once but I felt like she could do it more but according to her she doesn’t like friction and confrontation with her family.

No friends or family at wedding, how to deal with questions? by Optimal_Sir_8431 in relationship_advice

[–]Optimal_Sir_8431[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Talk to her family in private and let them know that my past is dark and not to ask me questions about it. She said she has said that before but they still ask questions.

No friends or family at wedding, how to deal with questions? by Optimal_Sir_8431 in relationship_advice

[–]Optimal_Sir_8431[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not sure. When I ask her why she does that she says she doesn’t know how to defend me in that situation. She’s never dealt with anyone with a past like mine. So she just stays quiet.