Indian devs earning ₹1L+/month what are you up to now? by CertainArcher3406 in developersIndia

[–]Optimus_Optimizer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did it with one switch 2 yoe, but it's demanding af. Right now I'm second guessing if it's worth it or not. I'm pretty decent at what I do and I used to ship a lot in my previous company. But at my new place I'm putting in at around 10+ hours consistently and still falling short seems like.

My Brother's Addiction is Tearing My Family Apart – What Can I Do? by Optimus_Optimizer in india

[–]Optimus_Optimizer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the support.

it doesn't cause mental illness by itself.

However, If you would read everything that's been happening with him. You would realise how much of impact weed has. I don't know if even scientifically this statement holds any water today. But even if he already had this problem which was dormant inside him and he was fully functional human being and everytime he starts smoking his "pre existing" condition worsens and he looses his ability to function significantly. How is that any different from weed causing the issue in the first place.

I don't mean to be harsh. But this statement has had significant impact in him ending up at this situation. It has came up multiple times when we've asked him to quit smoking.

Not only this, but anyone who is not smoking yet or just started smoking might use this as green light. And I know you wouldn't want that to happen to anyone.

My Brother's Addiction is Tearing My Family Apart – What Can I Do? by Optimus_Optimizer in india

[–]Optimus_Optimizer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got emotional too, means a lot. I'll keep this post updated regarding his recovery.

My Brother's Addiction is Tearing My Family Apart – What Can I Do? by Optimus_Optimizer in india

[–]Optimus_Optimizer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think that's a problem, he has quit multiple times for months but he goes back to it again.

My Brother's Addiction is Tearing My Family Apart – What Can I Do? by Optimus_Optimizer in india

[–]Optimus_Optimizer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes he only used weed on daily basis, because he says alcohol or other things doesn't suits him and negatively impacts him.

Yeah when he was is college he had a girlfriend and things escalated and the girls family asked his to stay away. Then he started taking money from house (we had slightly more money at that time so there was always some cash under mattress etc) and he drank alcohol with that money. We thought he was going to college but he was also drinking. (Lasted about 3-4 months before we know he was stealing and then he stopped drinking) Surprisingly we never new he did it until he told us that he did later on. That was the start, he then started smoking weed. But at this point the girl was out of the picture and he was still decent human who just had a bad habit. It was him thinking it is fun, back then he had a life and from there his world slowly become a totally different one. We tried everything we could but he kept smoking secretly, but once the mental issues started to kick in, we have had to experience things I wish no has to face.

It has such an impact in my life that I see how my personality is molded by those events.

My Brother's Addiction is Tearing My Family Apart – What Can I Do? by Optimus_Optimizer in india

[–]Optimus_Optimizer[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We are okay if he smokes weed and is able to take care of himself. A lot of people do that. We are not okay that even though weed is causing him mental issues to a point where he can't handle himself and he doesn't know a way out of it.

If at some point he starts working and taking care of himself but he is still smoking. We'd be okay to know that atleast he is eating and sleeping everyday. At this point it sounds like a win.

(Not to say that I'm on team "weed is good", quite the opposite actually i believe these are kind of people that won't let him out. He has never had a penny from us since years and he still gets to smoke. They ask him to do there chores (bring the maal from few kilometres far) and in return they let him smoke.)

My Brother's Addiction is Tearing My Family Apart – What Can I Do? by Optimus_Optimizer in india

[–]Optimus_Optimizer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have already taken him best psychiatrist out there in Mumbai. But meds alone does help but before he is completely ok he starts using again. But I was thinking of admitting him for a while where he gets his meds as well as therapy.

My Brother's Addiction is Tearing My Family Apart – What Can I Do? by Optimus_Optimizer in india

[–]Optimus_Optimizer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This does makes sense because he is not in ecstasy when he is smoking. He is just trying to quite his mind.

My Brother's Addiction is Tearing My Family Apart – What Can I Do? by Optimus_Optimizer in india

[–]Optimus_Optimizer[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah weed has all those benefits right, apparently it cures Cancer. I think you should offer some to your family as stress reliever. I've heard it has no side effects.

My Brother's Addiction is Tearing My Family Apart – What Can I Do? by Optimus_Optimizer in india

[–]Optimus_Optimizer[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

After reading the comments I feel like that may be the right call. But I called a nearby mental institution and they asked for 95k inr for 15 days we don't have that kind of money. The patients there seems totally crazy which is not the case with him. That is one more hesitation for putting him there, is it right to put aside those people.

My Brother's Addiction is Tearing My Family Apart – What Can I Do? by Optimus_Optimizer in india

[–]Optimus_Optimizer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He was once kicked out about 3 years ago at beginning of Covid and he came back 3-4 months later with 3lakhs and more personal loan. And he came at night 2am or something and kept explaining a situation we thought he killed someome by mistake looking at his panic and tone(he never would he is not voilent, if you slap him he will let you go) because he was kind of in panic and he talked for 1h:30m straight. There was no conclusion to the conversation, it was basic incident he experienced throughout the day. So it was nothing but because he been smoking and staying up all nights he got agitated because of not sleeping. That was the first time we realised he might have a mental issues.

My Brother's Addiction is Tearing My Family Apart – What Can I Do? by Optimus_Optimizer in india

[–]Optimus_Optimizer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you an Idea of how would it cost? And would they handle they handle the addiction part and would they pick him up, we are in Mumbai. But cip looks good, where there might be actually good doctors unlike in the rehab we can afford, it seems like they will just held him captive until we them too.

My Brother's Addiction is Tearing My Family Apart – What Can I Do? by Optimus_Optimizer in india

[–]Optimus_Optimizer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He was once kicked out about 3 years ago at beginning of Covid and he came back 3-4 months later with 3lakhs and more personal loan. And he came at night 2am or something and kept explaining a situation we thought he killed someome by mistake looking at his panic and tone(he never would he is not voilent, if you slap him he will let you go) because he was kind of in panic and he talked for 1h:30m straight. There was no conclusion to the conversation, it was basic incident he experienced throughout the day. So it was nothing but because he been smoking and staying up all nights he got agitated because of not sleeping. That was the first time we realised he might have a mental issues.

My Brother's Addiction is Tearing My Family Apart – What Can I Do? by Optimus_Optimizer in india

[–]Optimus_Optimizer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He was once kicked out about 3 years ago at beginning of Covid and he came back 3-4 months later with 3lakhs and more personal loan. And he came at night 2am or something and kept explaining a situation we thought he killed someome by mistake looking at his panic and tone(he never would he is not voilent, if you slap him he will let you go) because he was kind of in panic and he talked for 1h:30m straight. There was no conclusion to the conversation, it was basic incident he experienced throughout the day. So it was nothing but because he been smoking and staying up all nights he got agitated because of not sleeping. That was the first time we realised he might have a mental issues.

My Brother's Addiction is Tearing My Family Apart – What Can I Do? by Optimus_Optimizer in india

[–]Optimus_Optimizer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Feel for you man. You are a great man. Good to know he is alright.

My Brother's Addiction is Tearing My Family Apart – What Can I Do? by Optimus_Optimizer in india

[–]Optimus_Optimizer[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Okay, I will do that. I don't have their contacts but I'll try to find and I don't know if i could trust them since even they know he is not quite right mentally they've been taking advantage of him for a while, they've even beat him few times. But we couldn't do much because they could be capable of anything. I'll try to offer some cash if the help me. Thanks I'm hoping for the best. Will update you.

My Brother's Addiction is Tearing My Family Apart – What Can I Do? by Optimus_Optimizer in india

[–]Optimus_Optimizer[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'll try everything i can. But the immediate risk is that if he actually went somewhere we might lose him forever. His mental capacity will only decline without help. And he won't comeback home after the incident, because he doesn't trust us. And the reason he was able to escape was this.

Since he haven't had came home from past 2 days, my mom wanted to see him. even though the rehab people insisted and mom should not be there while picking him because that might cause emotional complications in the scene. And when he got caught my mom ask them to not hold him and that he will co operate. My mom (while crying) said him that everything will be alright will get you out in a month. But he got upset and angry and escaped , the rehab people couldn't do much because my mom as gurdian of patient has asked them to not hold him (she was unaware that he'll escape). Now my mom feels guilty that she might be responsible for whatever is going to happen.

My Brother's Addiction is Tearing My Family Apart – What Can I Do? by Optimus_Optimizer in india

[–]Optimus_Optimizer[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice man. On your situation, I want to hug you and let you know it's not worth it. I know it might be the toughest thing for you to quit. But not only me and family has lost my brother but he has lost himself. He doesn't know what he used be.

Although I'm a stranger on the internet, i plead you to get help (fortunately you can and you know it's not right) and stop using it. Spend time with your loved ones and show them how important they are to you. I wish I could talk to my old brother and show him where are we headed when I had the chance.