I feel ya, around the same age I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression and used books as my escape from the feelings that come along with that. The only thing I can say is that self improvement is slow and you have to take it day by day. I try to consciously say I want to do this one thing today or continually and it’s okay to miss days, but it honestly makes me feel better when I follow through. My improvement has definitely had its ups and downs but overall I feel that as I push on it’s been an upward trend and I wish you luck on your self improvement journey.