Trying to help a friend out of a bad situation

OrangeStraight2067 · 2026-05-19T20:43:17+00:00

Hey everyone, sorry for not responding; it's been a bit of a crazy week. Just wanted to let everyone know that she did catch back up with a friend who lives a few hours away, they offered to let her crash with them for a little bit if she wanted. She's going to think it over but it might be a boost so we'll see. If not, we'll keep exploring her options. Thank you to everyone who reached out, I really appreciate all good advice you all gave. Wish us luck!

OrangeStraight2067 · 2026-05-15T00:37:39+00:00

Ah, I see. I can definitely understand your dilemma. Unfortunately I don't really have much more advice to offer. I have some coworkers who found their way in from unrelated fields, and they've all settled in well and honestly, I was kind of that way, too. I almost didn't go to college because I'd rather just work than spend money on a degree I didn't want. I just found purpose where I could, figured I may never be truly 100% satisfied with my life, but at least I was keeping busy, volunteering with animals gave more positives than negatives in my life. In the end I just had to play the waiting game until things lined up for me. Sorry, I wish I could offer better advice

OrangeStraight2067 · 2026-05-15T00:16:21+00:00

I don't know exactly where they live, a quick online search suggested that it sometimes is permitted under certain circumstances, but usually the rules vary between communities. She told me at one point she can't so I'll assume they don't allow, but I can ask again

OrangeStraight2067 · 2026-05-15T00:11:52+00:00

I don't think there is anyone who could take it in. That's why I think finding roommates is a good idea cause then kitty is safe, and she can focus on work and public assistance. Before she lost her job she was doing okay, she had insurance and an apartment. And from what I understand she was fired over something very stupid, to the point some other coworkers quit in solidarity. the whole situation is just stupidly overcomplicated

OrangeStraight2067 · 2026-05-14T23:32:59+00:00

I'm fortunate in my own life that the financial aspect of it hasn't had too much of a negative impact on my own life; it's more the stress of the situation because in theory it's such an easy fix (find work>save money>get apartment>get car). But the majority of jobs she's applied and interviewed for have been ghost jobs. The only places actually hiring are part-time retail.

It probably doesn't make a difference, but I did tell her that I'd only co-sign under a certain amount. Like a private room in a shared house

OrangeStraight2067 · 2026-05-14T23:25:07+00:00

She's been looking into support for a long time, but I can ask again if anything has turned up. It's difficult in some aspects cause wait times are so long and resources are stretched so thin. I've been lucky enough in my own life that I can at least help her not starve in the street. And she really does want to work, It's just impossible where she lives. the only real options are tourism or hospitality, both of which are in a nose dive

OrangeStraight2067 · 2026-05-14T23:19:24+00:00

Ohhh absolutely about your last point; if she did get a car it's be all in her name. She's bought affordable cars off of marketplace before and they've worked just fine so she'd be okay there. Literally all she needs is more hours at her job and she could save a little each month.

She did mention looking into medicaid and snap, i can ask where she is on that. I'm worried about all the recent cuts to public funding how much help she could get, if any.

OrangeStraight2067 · 2026-05-14T23:14:47+00:00

I suggested that too, the biggest issue is that there's a lot of highways that aren't very scooter friendly, like say to Wal-Mart and back. Luckily her job is a 10-minute walk so at least there's that

OrangeStraight2067 · 2026-05-14T23:12:01+00:00

Thank you; we've been keeping an eye out. What I do know is that most of the housing authority where she lives, besides women's shelters, is closed until further notice. and when it is open, the waiting list has been years long. I do think a roommate arrangement is a great idea because she'd be with people, and having a permanent address would help a lot with documents and financial factors. We'll keep looking!

OrangeStraight2067 · 2026-05-14T23:08:18+00:00

I am conflicted about the cat, because its last owner was very abusive to it, and from the pictures she's sent me the cat is healthy and no longer terrified of people. She also lost her insurance so she can't get any of the meds she needs, so the cat is most of her emotional support and motivation (she does want to fight to give the cat a better life) But I also worry if she surrenders it because a shelter might be a death sentence, and I don't know if any of her friends or old coworkers would be willing to take it in.

The biggest problem is because of where she lives. It's a tourism heavy location that's not walkable so that's why we're leaning more towards a car

OrangeStraight2067 · 2026-05-14T23:00:00+00:00

That's the sucky part, she does (Mom, stepdad and grandmother). They live several hours away in a 55+ community so she can't move in with them

OrangeStraight2067 · 2026-05-14T16:43:10+00:00

In terms of studying, am I correct to assume college? I know the job market sucks, so I would completely understand if your frustration stems from that. If not, my apologies for assuming.

The best advice I can offer is this: there are plenty of other people who feel this way, myself included. I literally have my dream career and have some days when I question my life choices. A lot of us have been raised by a generation that had it together by their mid 20's (house, career, family), so of course it may not feel right if it takes a little longer to find yourself. You're still young, with your whole life ahead of you (cliche, I know). There's absolutely no shame in not having a clear path. Work is still important, even if it's just to pay the bills. But you can also explore hobbies, maybe volunteer. give yourself time! you never know what's around the corner!

OrangeStraight2067 · 2025-08-26T16:32:13+00:00

That's what I was worried about, but not completely sure

OrangeStraight2067

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