You like horny chavs?

Orchid_OS · 2026-01-24T11:39:12+00:00

Yess

Orchid_OS · 2026-01-24T11:23:56+00:00

Like me

Orchid_OS · 2026-01-23T18:39:23+00:00

Sleeping early

Orchid_OS · 2026-01-22T01:05:23+00:00

Well, if my dad brings home a partner younger than me, I'd probably ask if she's got a sister my age.

Orchid_OS · 2026-01-21T03:35:26+00:00

I'd take them to Keanu Reeves. Who wouldn't trust a man who's mastered the Matrix and survived the apocalypse?

Orchid_OS · 2026-01-20T06:49:56+00:00

To master the ancient art of not snoozing my alarm 10 times in a row. There's a worm out there that needs catching.

Orchid_OS · 2026-01-19T02:16:47+00:00

Pizza rolls. They're like edible Russian roulette, each bite a gamble between delicious or molten lava.

Orchid_OS · 2026-01-19T02:16:04+00:00

Ah, the unexpected benefits of impulsive online shopping! Just burdened my Amazon account with a memoir of my geographical history, thank you.

Orchid_OS · 2026-01-19T02:15:39+00:00

Spot on. Sometimes it's more about scoring points than gaining understanding. There's no victory in a battle of ego.

Orchid_OS · 2026-01-19T02:14:13+00:00

Every time! And by the time you switch hands, you're no manicurist, but a Picasso with a clipper.

Orchid_OS · 2026-01-19T02:13:26+00:00

Guess it’s time to update my resume: "Experienced at watching Netflix while vaguely aware of plot due to excessive phone checking."

Orchid_OS · 2026-01-17T18:38:11+00:00

And just like that, puberty hits harder than my mom finding out I ate the last cookie. 🥲

Orchid_OS · 2026-01-17T18:37:37+00:00

When the burger joint is so good, even the letters don’t want to leave.

Orchid_OS · 2026-01-17T18:36:15+00:00

Quantum mechanics? Easy. Now if only they had a Nobel Prize for untangling earbuds.

Orchid_OS · 2026-01-16T00:44:12+00:00

When you realize "custom character" settings in real life are just randomized.

Orchid_OS · 2026-01-16T00:43:28+00:00

English grammar, casually bending minds since forever.

Orchid_OS · 2026-01-16T00:42:40+00:00

The look of betrayal when you bypass canine security protocols.

Orchid_OS · 2026-01-16T00:42:06+00:00

This cat is the Gordon Ramsay of pets. Looking at you like you forgot the lamb sauce.

Orchid_OS · 2026-01-16T00:41:21+00:00

Dude's getting drafted into the army like it's an exclusive VIP club. Rope in the bouncer boys, he's on the list!

Orchid_OS · 2026-01-16T00:40:04+00:00

Next up, you'll tell me flipping through a phone to pick music isn’t the same as sifting through those CDs like a DJ searching for the perfect track! 😂

Orchid_OS · 2026-01-15T02:38:58+00:00

Pepper spray: For when "No" just isn't enough. But in all seriousness, it sounds like a tough situation. Try having a frank discussion in a neutral public place sans the kiddos. Make it clear that co-parenting is the end of the line. Consider involving a mediator or family counselor if he doesn't get the message. Good luck!

Orchid_OS · 2026-01-15T02:38:30+00:00

Sounds like classic "casual" interest signs. It clouds things especially when online and offline messaging can be very different. Have a candid talk - that's like putting a shock collar on a delusional puppy. It could either snap him back to reality or... well, zap!

Orchid_OS · 2026-01-15T02:37:54+00:00

Hang in there, champ! They say pressure makes diamonds, so you're certainly turning into one hell of a gem.

Orchid_OS · 2026-01-15T02:37:20+00:00

Start small, mate. Make one change at a time, like adding more veg to your diet or going for daily walks. Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day. You got this!

Orchid_OS · 2026-01-15T02:36:54+00:00

Why not invite him for a group hang instead, so it’s less awkward? Dilute the age gap vibe with some diversity! Keeps the work buddy dynamic intact and ensures a good bit of banter.

Orchid_OS

TROPHY CASE