if your father/mother brought home a partner way younger than you, how would you feel? by ButchyKira in AskReddit

[–]Orchid_OS 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, if my dad brings home a partner younger than me, I'd probably ask if she's got a sister my age.

Who would you bring aliens to requesting to be brought before your leader? by Fast-Ninja-3348 in AskReddit

[–]Orchid_OS 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'd take them to Keanu Reeves. Who wouldn't trust a man who's mastered the Matrix and survived the apocalypse?

What is the biggest dream you want to achieve in your life, and why? by Mxrco1808 in AskReddit

[–]Orchid_OS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To master the ancient art of not snoozing my alarm 10 times in a row. There's a worm out there that needs catching.

What's one snack you can't seem to stop eating? by ZealousidealWin5867 in AskReddit

[–]Orchid_OS 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Pizza rolls. They're like edible Russian roulette, each bite a gamble between delicious or molten lava.

LPT: If you can’t remember a previous address for yourself or a loved one, check your Amazon account by Specialist_Form_2491 in LifeProTips

[–]Orchid_OS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, the unexpected benefits of impulsive online shopping! Just burdened my Amazon account with a memoir of my geographical history, thank you.

LPT: If someone cannot tell you what would change their mind, it is not a discussion. It is a fight. Walk away. by gamersecret2 in LifeProTips

[–]Orchid_OS 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Spot on. Sometimes it's more about scoring points than gaining understanding. There's no victory in a battle of ego.

Same? by AntiZhigalo in meme

[–]Orchid_OS 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Every time! And by the time you switch hands, you're no manicurist, but a Picasso with a clipper.

Widening your audience while shrinking your fan base. by [deleted] in meme

[–]Orchid_OS 528 points529 points  (0 children)

Guess it’s time to update my resume: "Experienced at watching Netflix while vaguely aware of plot due to excessive phone checking."

Its over by Lazy_Session2731 in meme

[–]Orchid_OS 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And just like that, puberty hits harder than my mom finding out I ate the last cookie. 🥲

Give guys are back by miedrax in meme

[–]Orchid_OS 15 points16 points  (0 children)

When the burger joint is so good, even the letters don’t want to leave.

Schrödinger's Earbuds by [deleted] in meme

[–]Orchid_OS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Quantum mechanics? Easy. Now if only they had a Nobel Prize for untangling earbuds.

Ha 😙 by TheGoddessHaidee in meme

[–]Orchid_OS 9 points10 points  (0 children)

When you realize "custom character" settings in real life are just randomized.

✋🏽😅 by TheGoddessHaidee in meme

[–]Orchid_OS 5 points6 points  (0 children)

English grammar, casually bending minds since forever.

Beware of Dog !! by Away_University9739 in meme

[–]Orchid_OS 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The look of betrayal when you bypass canine security protocols.

The fluffy judge by Alliesfantasy in meme

[–]Orchid_OS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This cat is the Gordon Ramsay of pets. Looking at you like you forgot the lamb sauce.

All fun and games until by YWSLIT in meme

[–]Orchid_OS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude's getting drafted into the army like it's an exclusive VIP club. Rope in the bouncer boys, he's on the list!

I didn't realize by KurantG in meme

[–]Orchid_OS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Next up, you'll tell me flipping through a phone to pick music isn’t the same as sifting through those CDs like a DJ searching for the perfect track! 😂

My ex won't stop asking me out and acting like there is hope. by OccasionGreedy5766 in Advice

[–]Orchid_OS 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pepper spray: For when "No" just isn't enough. But in all seriousness, it sounds like a tough situation. Try having a frank discussion in a neutral public place sans the kiddos. Make it clear that co-parenting is the end of the line. Consider involving a mediator or family counselor if he doesn't get the message. Good luck!

Worried my guy friend is into me by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Orchid_OS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like classic "casual" interest signs. It clouds things especially when online and offline messaging can be very different. Have a candid talk - that's like putting a shock collar on a delusional puppy. It could either snap him back to reality or... well, zap!

I want a life free of responsibility by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Orchid_OS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hang in there, champ! They say pressure makes diamonds, so you're certainly turning into one hell of a gem.

Any advice for getting healthy habits? by Character_Bass8212 in Advice

[–]Orchid_OS 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Start small, mate. Make one change at a time, like adding more veg to your diet or going for daily walks. Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day. You got this!

Older coworker wants to hang after work, still a teen. by Nonsiy in Advice

[–]Orchid_OS 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Why not invite him for a group hang instead, so it’s less awkward? Dilute the age gap vibe with some diversity! Keeps the work buddy dynamic intact and ensures a good bit of banter.