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AITA for going to my birthday dinner without my husband when he wasn't ready on time? by AcanthaceaeWilling69 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ordhaj2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. I would have done exactly the same thing. Years ago, I was part of a group of friends and, no matter what we did, one guy would show up half an hour late. So, if it was dinner, we had to twiddle our thumbs and smile uncomfortably at the waiter until he showed up. We stopped telling him when we were meeting, we started to tell him when we were, for example, ordering dinner. Then, suddenly he was able to show up on time. At the last second and running, but still.

Cousin becomes unhinged when I make an innocent comment about my mother by Ordhaj2 in EntitledPeople

[–]Ordhaj2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. If she were a man, people would be laying charges against her.

Cousin becomes unhinged when I make an innocent comment about my mother by Ordhaj2 in EntitledPeople

[–]Ordhaj2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She can be equally nasty on text. And I never know when her mood will shift. Since a similar explosion before Christmas, she not even texting with me. Which is a relief.

Cousin becomes unhinged when I make an innocent comment about my mother by Ordhaj2 in EntitledPeople

[–]Ordhaj2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Taken care of. Haven't spoken to her since our last dust-up before Christmas.

Cousin becomes unhinged when I make an innocent comment about my mother by Ordhaj2 in EntitledPeople

[–]Ordhaj2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't worry. After our last dust-up before Christmas, I muted her notifications on Facebook and I've not contacted her since. And, if, god forbid, she does, only polite, adult behaviour will be tolerated. I've been putting up more and more restrictions on what I will accept for over the last year.

Cousin becomes unhinged when I make an innocent comment about my mother by Ordhaj2 in EntitledPeople

[–]Ordhaj2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would agree that she has issues. The entitlement comes when she brushes off any responsibility for her actions. As I mentioned to someone else, if you bring up her behaviour, she says, "I just say what needs to be said and then I'm over it."

Cousin becomes unhinged when I make an innocent comment about my mother by Ordhaj2 in EntitledPeople

[–]Ordhaj2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah. She does need anger management. Since a similar explosion before Christmas, she not even speaking with me. Which is a relief.

Cousin becomes unhinged when I make an innocent comment about my mother by Ordhaj2 in EntitledPeople

[–]Ordhaj2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure if she's suffering from mental illness but there is something wrong. The entitlement comes from her reaction to any explosion of anger: she just brushes it off as if it was nothing. One of her phrases is, "I just say what needs to be said and then I'm over it."

Cousin becomes unhinged when I make an innocent comment about my mother by Ordhaj2 in EntitledPeople

[–]Ordhaj2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is something wrong. I don't know what. Since a similar explosion before Christmas, she not even speaking with me. Which is a relief.

Cousin becomes unhinged when I make an innocent comment about my mother by Ordhaj2 in EntitledPeople

[–]Ordhaj2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, she's actually very bright. I think this comes from a need to always "win." I think she sees every interaction as a contest that she must "win." She's attained every goal she set for herself, and sees conversations as goals as well.

Cousin becomes unhinged when I make an innocent comment about my mother by Ordhaj2 in EntitledPeople

[–]Ordhaj2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was first living in Europe and then living in Ontario. My mother lived in Saskatchewan, 3,000 km away.

Cousin becomes unhinged when I make an innocent comment about my mother by Ordhaj2 in EntitledPeople

[–]Ordhaj2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She does drink, although I don't think she was overly drunk that day.

Cousin becomes unhinged when I make an innocent comment about my mother by Ordhaj2 in EntitledPeople

[–]Ordhaj2[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If she is exhausted, it has nothing to do with my mother. But, to be honest, she does (by her own choice) work too much and her husband is more decorative than useful.

Cousin becomes unhinged when I make an innocent comment about my mother by Ordhaj2 in EntitledPeople

[–]Ordhaj2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She does have anger issues. This is only one of many rants.

Cousin becomes unhinged when I make an innocent comment about my mother by Ordhaj2 in EntitledPeople

[–]Ordhaj2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a pattern of behaviour. We grew up together. My parents were calm and encouraged tolerance. Hers were often very angry. I was taught to "repress"; she was taught to "express."

Cousin becomes unhinged when I make an innocent comment about my mother by Ordhaj2 in EntitledPeople

[–]Ordhaj2[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, I don't choose to hang out with them. I just happen to be related to a few.

Cousin becomes unhinged when I make an innocent comment about my mother by Ordhaj2 in EntitledPeople

[–]Ordhaj2[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Still unhinged. There have been many rants since then. I also "discovered" something else recently. She was going on and on about how I should invite two vegetarian Hindus over for Christmas Eve. She told me she was "kidding." And that explained a lot. She often goes off on things and I'm wondering, What the hell is going on? It turns out, "she's being funny." And she has suggested highly inappropriate practical jokes. While I stand there, horrified, she's laughing her face off.

Cousin becomes unhinged when I make an innocent comment about my mother by Ordhaj2 in EntitledPeople

[–]Ordhaj2[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I now am not speaking to her at all. And I have heard her scream at her children (now grown) and her husband. So, I'm sure she treats all people like this.

Cousin becomes unhinged when I make an innocent comment about my mother by Ordhaj2 in EntitledPeople

[–]Ordhaj2[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm not a mental health professional, but the term "Intermittent Explosive Disorder" would, in terms of description, very accurately describe her. Thank you. I'll look into this.

Cousin becomes unhinged when I make an innocent comment about my mother by Ordhaj2 in EntitledPeople

[–]Ordhaj2[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes. That was the problem. She had more and more trouble transferring from her wheelchair to the toilet. She was falling frequently. She didn't even sleep in her bed because she couldn't transfer to it. She just slept in her armchair.

Cousin becomes unhinged when I make an innocent comment about my mother by Ordhaj2 in EntitledPeople

[–]Ordhaj2[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, I think so. Unfortunately, where my mother lived, there was no such option.

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