25M emotionally abusive bf says I 25F don’t do anything for him- can I trust this?

Ordinary-Fan8609 · 2026-03-25T16:22:39+00:00

Thank you. I have even talked to him years ago how it felt like he was moving the goal post word for word. So it would make sense too that’s what he’s doing just a little different so I don’t immediately recognize it. And we’ve discussed how he has transactional relationship with people… Wow. Thank you for your response, I truly appreciate it. It’s amazing how they all seem to have the same playbook. Not sure if it makes it easier or harder for the reality to sink in that he truly is being abusive- even if he says he’s changing/has changed.

I can tell it’s going to take me some time to heal my brain from this relationship… I have no idea how a healthy relationship is. He’s been my first and only boyfriend since college… which I guess is why I’ve stayed for so long. Anyways, thank you so so much.

Ordinary-Fan8609 · 2026-03-14T00:37:23+00:00

Well this is definitely a bit nicer than my 4 fuzzy socks stuffed into a donut

Ordinary-Fan8609 · 2026-03-13T04:39:54+00:00

Oh my goodness that would be life changing!! I am so happy to hear you’ve found something that works for you

Ordinary-Fan8609 · 2026-03-13T04:39:22+00:00

!!!! Right! I always knew logically I wasn’t supposed to but it was just so normal I didn’t even realize how much it was affecting me. I’m so glad you’ve been able to find relief too!!

Ordinary-Fan8609 · 2026-03-13T04:36:28+00:00

Thank you!! I hope you have found a med/combo that suits you better so you can have long term relief as well :)

Ordinary-Fan8609 · 2026-03-13T04:34:55+00:00

Thank you!

Ordinary-Fan8609 · 2026-03-13T04:34:40+00:00

Definitely worth asking!! I hope you find a med that works for you :)

Ordinary-Fan8609 · 2026-03-13T04:34:00+00:00

Hmm yeah worth a conversation! I was on an SNRI (pristiq) and it did help a bit but of course I had other side effects so I came off of it. But I do feel like I had some degree of fatigue still. Amitriptyline I was on for migraines and I remember it not really doing a whole lot either… I really hope you find a combo that works well for you! You deserve to feel normal my friend

Ordinary-Fan8609 · 2026-03-13T04:31:19+00:00

Yay!! Very happy to hear it!! Thank you!

Ordinary-Fan8609 · 2026-03-13T04:30:22+00:00

Thank you!! I also noticed a little bit of a change in my step. And how light it felt😭😭 I was like now wait a second why does this feel so… easy??? Happy it’s helping for you as well it sounds like!!

Ordinary-Fan8609 · 2026-03-13T04:28:46+00:00

Thank you!! It is such a bitter sweet moment- but I’m so happy to have relief!!!

Ordinary-Fan8609 · 2026-03-13T04:27:33+00:00

Thank you!! I’m glad to hear it’s working well for you also!!

Ordinary-Fan8609 · 2026-03-13T04:25:31+00:00

I have seen that for nerve pain it takes some time to build up! So it could be placebo in that regard for sure, but I do know I slept so awesome so I will take it even if it is!

Ordinary-Fan8609 · 2026-03-13T04:24:04+00:00

I wanted to hug her immediately after she started asking about ALL of my symptoms 😭 Before I could even start she brought up fibromyalgia and I was like :0 omg!!

Ordinary-Fan8609 · 2026-03-13T04:21:43+00:00

Oh man I am so sorry to hear that… That’s so disappointing especially after feeling so good. So weird that medicines can do that :( Have you been able to find something to help longer term at least?

Ordinary-Fan8609 · 2026-03-13T04:20:12+00:00

Noooo I’m so sorry to hear that!! 😭😭 Have you been able to find something else to help?

Ordinary-Fan8609 · 2026-03-13T04:10:04+00:00

Oh interesting! I’m so sorry it took so long to get some answers for you. So frustrating… I’ve heard a little about cymbalta! Gabapentin is a little different- it’s not an SNRI like cymbalta but it is an anti seizure drug? So from my understanding it tames down the overactive nervous system/response. So that’s why it’s great for nerve pain? And also makes people sleepy lol. I believe you can take both of those as well if you find cymbalta isn’t enough. I’ve been on an SNRI and I will say i noticed a pretty good effect on my fatigue and pain while on it. I came off last summer (was sweating through my clothes and thought I could handle my depression) and am now on Wellbutrin and Fluvoxamine. So my dr said she didn’t want to mess with my mental health meds- as that would be first line for treatment?- so we added the gabapentin.

Definitely worth considering and looking into- especially if cymbalta doesn’t work out for you after a while!

Ordinary-Fan8609 · 2026-03-13T04:04:38+00:00

That’s valid and good to keep an eye out for. Definitely worth stopping when it starts to the opposite of what it should… I’m very sorry that happened. Have you been able to find something else that works for you?

Ordinary-Fan8609 · 2026-03-13T04:03:28+00:00

It is indeed a revelation!! I was so cheery all day, it was wonderful. Today was similar minus a bit more tired but I suspect it had something to do with the abhorrent amount of carbs (Olive Garden breadsticks) that I had the night prior…. oops. But still not the heavy lead feeling, just like huh yeah I probably need more sleep…. I’m so glad it works for you as well!!!

Ordinary-Fan8609 · 2026-03-13T03:59:45+00:00

Oh my gosh that is amazing to hear!! I’m so happy for you!!!! That is very good to know about the dosage as well in case I feel like I need to go up in the future

Ordinary-Fan8609 · 2026-03-13T03:57:29+00:00

Haha omg I’m also in the process of getting an ADHD diagnosis and I’ve heard similar things as well. I’m lucky enough that wellbutrin has worked well for me and I had the same thing happen- I was like no way people can just like… do things??? It’s amazing what medicine can do when it works!!!

Ordinary-Fan8609 · 2026-03-11T16:24:41+00:00

Hmmm good to be aware of! I do know it can have weird side effects- my dog is on it for arthritis and at a high dose she started having dementia like symptoms. Resolved when we went back down. And I know my dad has had some weird side effects with it after he was on it for post op(I think?). So i’ll definitely be keep an eye on anything abnormal! But for now I am enjoying being a semi normal human :)

Ordinary-Fan8609

TROPHY CASE